Being poor isn't much fun. When Grig and I moved recently, we were doing pretty well financially. However, previous to this move, we had been blessed with an apartment that was owned by loving family, and they didn't require us to pay rent.
Thanks to their generosity, we had been able to save up a bit of money, and had reduced our college debt by quite a bit. Before we moved we weren't rich, but we weren't really poor either. We'd been able to pay all of our baby bills (which were pretty substantial considering that I had a c-section).
Since we've moved, however, we've joined the world of the grown ups. Our money that we saved was mostly spent in those first few weeks when Grig wasn't working as many hours and he was signed up through a temp agency. For a while, we didn't even know for sure that he was going to get the job full-time. However, we had faith. We knew this is where we were supposed to be.
We had decided to get a three bedroom apartment so that Grig's brother Havelock could come and stay with us. It was decided that once he arrived and found a job, he would be able to help with the rent a bit. The rent is a decent price for a three bedroom apartment, but it is still quite a bit of our income. However, he couldn't find a job for a few weeks, so we've had to pay the rent on our own. (As a side note, he found a job, and he starts today!)
We've had to become very careful on how we deal with our money. I created a budgeting system on Excel that works great for us, but with all of the finances we've had and a few surprise bills, our money nearly disappeared. We couldn't buy groceries because we didn't have money for it. We didn't have any furniture when we moved, and though we were able to buy a bed, we couldn't buy anything else. We have been dirt poor, and it hasn't hurt us at all.
We've learned so many wonderful things because of it. We budgeted our money before this, but never with the same caution that we do now. We only buy what we absolutely NEED, and we're still working on discerning what groceries can wait until we have money. We have given up a lot of things that we wanted for a later time when we can afford them. Neither Grig nor I have credit cards, and aside from a (comparatively) small college debt that we are working on, we don't plan on ever going into debt. We only want to buy things that we have saved up for and can afford.
We've also been so blessed! Every piece of furniture that we've really needed, someone has given us. When we started, we had a tiny end table, a rocking chair, a lawn chair, a desk, and entertainment center (with no t.v.), a book shelf, a bed, and a tote that we use for a desk. We didn't have a couch, a bed for Havelock, a table, or a microwave. As the weeks have gone by and we've been trying to stay within our means, others have stepped in and given us furniture. We've been so grateful as we've learned to rely on the Lord and on friends and family.
We've had enough, but no more. As Havelock starts his new job and Grig continues to work, we should be able to begin saving again, and move past the poverty line. It's been tough, but really, it's been okay.
A little poverty never hurt anyone. It's only made us stronger as we've come closer to each other and to the Lord.
Jeff and I did something really strange and different. When he graduated from his Master of INformation Systems management degree, instead of seeking a job at one of the big 4 like ninety percent of his graduating class, a job that would pay upwards of 80,000 a year and expect a 60 hour work week out of him, he chose to go a route that would bring him more time with family. His first job had him at 36,000. And then he worked for BYU.... and still does. Let's just say that while BYU is very wonderfully family friendly and a great place to work if that's your priority, it doesn't pay very much.
ReplyDeleteALso, we saved up money those first four years of our marriage in order to pay cash for an international adoption. While working for that goal we lived like starving college students. We didn't buy furniture. We didn't buy new clothes. We didn't go out to eat. We paid a very small amount of rent partly because of the generosity of the Landlord who rented it to us, and partly because it was a tiny, falling-down, black-mold infested, tiles and wallpaper falling off the walls house. People in our ward out there did things like give us christmas jars and pile us with DI donations. I think that's what made me feel bad, because our frugality was a choice, not really exactly necessity, and so were we kind of taking advantage of people a bit? I would talk myself back into reality by reminding myself that our adoption was important, and not a luxury we were saving for.
Those years we were renting, we grew to be a family of five. Jeff grew to be 36. He had times of deep insecurity--should we still be renting? Shouldn't we own a house? Shoudln't he be in a career he wanted the rest of his life, instead of working a job he knew was dead-end and not what he wanted?
We were so richly blessed, however, in the wake of all that. You wouldn't believe some things that happened. We brought the girls home, and a couple years later, moved out to Idaho on a prompting, and suddenly had a house. Not a starter home, a house. The Obama healthcare bill refunded the entire amount we spent on our adoption so... it was as if we'd saved up for a house payment those four years. Jeff's job was so much more what he wanted.
I think that when we follow promptings and are content where we are, Heavenly Father surprises us with crazy amounts of blessings. But you know, the biggest blessing I see in all of this?
We're still living like starving college students. We never will not live like starving college students. We've learned that this is the way to live... if you can do without, do without. If you can make it work, do so. Always accept free fruit, even if it means canning for a week. Always look for blessings before spending... adn then spend only what you absolutely need to spend, and you will have what you need. This is a principal that is universal...whether you make 18,000 a year, 36,000, 80,000 or 250,000 (would be nice but will never happen to us!!) We learned that principal so well, and wouldn't have if we hadn't had a reason to learn it.
one thing I admire so much about your parents is that they live by this principal too. They have two houses paid off, and they have ten children. Not many people accomplish that :) It's a blessing to go through lean times right at first. I think Heavenly Father really blesses us that way :) sometimes it doesn't seem much like a blessing, but in the end, it really is.
*principle* sorry, fruedian slip. Your dad is a prinicipal :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. It's true. When you only buy what you absolutely need, you can save up so much more for the future. Hopefully, eventually we will have our own home as well, but we'll see what happens in time.
DeleteI am sure you're much more careful about only buying what you need since you have barely enough for the necessities. I hope you're able to find a more stable work situation soon!
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