MM: Lessons from my Grandparents

Yesterday at church, we had one of the funnest lessons that I have had in a while. I don't know if I've ever laughed that hard during a lesson.

The lesson was about the elderly and how valuable they are. The older sisters in the ward I was in were a hoot. They teased the sister in charge and in general were quite witty.

The teacher, who is a friend of mine, asked me to share something I had learned from my grandparents. I missed the cue, so I didn't end up sharing my thoughts.

I wanted to share my thoughts here, because I felt they were worth saying.

Each of my grandparents have taught me valuable lessons.

My paternal grandmother has taught me to be respectful and kind to everyone. I have very seldom seen her get upset with someone. She is really great at making all of her grandchildren think they are her favorite. She listens carefully and really cares about what we think and what we are going through. She is a great listener, and I want to be more like that.

My paternal grandfather has helped teach me how to work. Though he is nearly 80, he knows more about computers than I do, and he still is running his own business. Since I was 11, he has given me the opportunity to work at his apartments every summer. He has taught me to be a good worker and how to maintain and repair my own home. I have learned a lot from him.

Kevin and his paternal grandparents

My maternal grandmother has taught me the value of service and homemaking. She has been teaching me how to do my own canning. She takes time our of her busy schedule to help me whenever I need it. She is constantly looking for ways to help other people, and whenever anyone comes into town, she is always ready to feed and let them stay at her home. I want to be more like that.

My paternal grandfather has taught me the importance of saving and managing money. Though he has never been rich, he has saved up his whole life and now is able to go on trips with his wife to different parts of the world. He has also served three missions with his wife. I have also learned how to fish from my grandfather. It is something that I enjoy doing with him and with my husband.

This picture was taken at their 50th wedding anniversary. The cupcakes each represent one of their posterity.

Possibly the most important thing I have learned from my grandparents is how important family is. Everything they do is because they loves their children and grandchildren. They helped me stay debt-free throughout college, and I can never repay them for that. They sacrifice to have a family reunion frequently so we can stay in touch with our family. It's not always easy (because they have so many grandchildren and great-grandchildren), but they keep doing it.

I have also learned about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Each of my grandparents have shared their testimonies to me about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Often, they haven't done it in words, but through their actions. I love and respect each of them.

As they get older, I am grateful for the time I get to spend with them. They know so many things that I have yet to learn. I hope they continue to stay around for a long time.

I am blessed to live in a church where God has called older men to lead it. The elderly have vast reserves of experience and examples to draw upon, as well as strong testimonies that have endured many trials. We can learn something from everyone, and I hope to continue to learn from those that are older than me.

MM: The Good You Do

Yesterday, we watched a video produced by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's called "You Never Know How Much Good You Do."

Here's the video if you'd like to watch it. I highly recommend it.

A lot of times, we try our best to organize our time with good things. Then, something unexpected happens, and your whole day's plans are messed up.

I am trying a new way to schedule my time. In the mornings, after I make Kevin breakfast, I read my scriptures. Then, I plan out my day by writing down the things I was trying to get done. Once I write down my list, I then designate chunks of time to the specific things. I finish by praying that the plan I have made is acceptable to the Lord.

Last week, I managed to do this Monday-Thursday. At night, when I said my evening prayers, I would report back to the Lord on how I did each day. I don't know if I've every felt better about how I used my time. Friday and Saturday, I didn't do quite as well, but I'm trying again this week.

The funny thing, is I was also praying for opportunities to serve someone else, and I definitely had those prayers answered. Nearly every day I had some unexpected opportunity to help someone.

They weren't huge acts of service, and sometimes it ended up changing my entire schedule, but I was still able to get everything on my list done.

I think that we often have a list of things to get done, and if we don't finish it, we feel like failures. However, when we accomplish the list that the Lord has for us, then it doesn't matter if we finish our own list.

I loved this video, because it really showed the consequences of her choices and how much she'd really helped other people.

We don't always know the good that we can do, but the Lord does. The Lord knows what He wants us to accomplish each day and who he wants us to help. If we listen and act upon those opportunities, we will be led and guided to where we can do the most good.

You never know what blessings your tiny acts of service can bring to yourself and to others.

Mormon Monday: Callings

I love my current callings.

I am the senior primary chorister. Which essentially means that I teach music to kids from age 8-11. It is a really fun calling, though I usually run out of time before I finish the lesson.

This last week for Father's day, we had a review of the songs that we had learned so far this year. I taped safety pins to fish that the other chorister had made. Then I took our half of a pool stick, tied yarn to it, and then attached our key-magnet to it.

Then, we went fishing. Each of the fish had a number on the back that either correlated to a song, or it let them pick any song they wanted to sing.

The activity went really well. The kids seemed to enjoy it, and my fishing pole worked great.

The Spirit was really strong during some of the songs as the kids sung their very best in the hopes that they would be the next one picked to fish.

My other calling is that I am on the Relief Society activity committee. That means that I help plan activities for the women in our ward. The head of our committee is pretty awesome, and she is getting really good at delegating.

The nice thing about having these two callings, is that I am getting to know the kids and the women in our ward. Since we're still fairly new (we've only been  here for four months), it is a great way for me to make friends and get to know people.

We are in a wonderful ward, and I really feel at home here. They seem really supportive and friendly.

Last Saturday, Grig was trying to do one of his callings, which is to be in charge of making sure the church gets cleaned. Every ward switches off, and so he only has to do this calling every third month or so.

As with all things in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is strictly volunteer. He had asked a few people to come and help, but it was a difficult Saturday for many people, and we weren't sure who, if anyone, was going to come.

Friday night, we prayed that people would come and help us so that we wouldn't have to clean all day.

Saturday morning, we had a few people come, and we were grateful for their help. However, an hour and half after Grig had started, another large family showed up that we weren't expecting, and some kids who were practicing for a play came and joined us in cleaning as well. With the extra help, the cleaning was concluded in another half an hour.

I was about to leave when they came (I had a previous appointment), but it was good I hadn't yet, because the new family only spoke Spanish, so I was able to talk to them and explain what they were supposed to do before I had to leave.

We are so grateful to those who came to help, and to the Lord for inspiring more to come.

It is amazing how much help the Lord gives us when we sacrifice our time to do what He has asked us to do. I love being able to serve. It helps me to be like Christ every day of the week, instead of just on Sunday.

Mormon Monday: The Importance of Marriage

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a week. I hope to be back on track again. Working makes it difficult to blog.

Yesterday, something was said at church that reminded me of a special experience I had just before I got married.

A few weeks before I got married, I remember distinctly one night when I was driving home. We'd already paid for our cruise, and the invitations had already been sent. However, as was pausing at a stoplight, I had the very distinct impression that I needed to pray and ask Heavenly Father if I really should marry my fiance.

As the impression struck me, I felt fear rise up within me. I felt like I had received my answer previously, and I didn't know why Heavenly Father would want me to ask again.

What if the answer was no? I immediately imagined the embarrassment of trying to tell everyone the wedding was off. We'd also lose all of the money that we put into the cruise. Not to mention, I rather liked Grig and didn't want to tell him that we weren't supposed to be together.

However, as all these thoughts swept through my mind, I decided that if my Heavenly Father told me I  shouldn't marry Grig, I wouldn't. I knew that my Father knew better than I did what the future held, and I needed to put him first.

So I prayed. I asked my Heavenly Father if I was supposed to marry Grig. As soon as I did, I was flooded with warmth and assurance. I knew that I was making the right decision, and I was so grateful I asked.

I have often thought since then, why did I feel the need to ask if the answer was yes?

I realized that I had to be willing to put Heavenly Father first. Even though I love my husband dearly, if the Lord said no, I was going to be willing to put His will first. That lesson has served us well throughout our marriage.

Many marriages are failing because people are selfish. If their spouse stops fulfilling their needs, they break it off.

Marriage isn't supposed to be about having someone else fulfill your needs though, it supposed to be about loving and serving each other. If your every focus is to serve your spouse, and they reciprocate that same feeling, your needs will be met as you meet the needs of your best friend. As we work toward becoming more like our Heavenly Father, we become more service-oriented. We begin to love people with a more Christ-like love.

One of my favorite quotes goes:

God loves you just the way you are. However, he loves you too much to let you stay that way.

I don't know who said this originally, but I believe it's true. If we love those around us with a Christ-like love, we want them to improve because we know righteous living will make THEM happier. In a marriage, we should always be striving to improve ourselves and help our spouses with their goals. We don't make their goals for them, but as they set goals, we should ask them how we can help them attain them.

Marriage is often seen as a contrivance. However, we as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that marriages (performed under the authority of the Lord) can last forever. Helaman 10:7 says:

Behold, I give unto you power, that whatsoever ye shall seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven; and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven; and thus shall ye have power among this people.

We believe that marriage is eternal and that families are central to our Heavenly Father's plan. If the marriage is supposed to last forever, 40 or 50 years should be a beautiful beginning.

I know that this is true. I know that marriage is important to our Heavenly Father. I know that as we put our Heavenly Father first, our marriage will grow stronger as we grow closer to Him. Marriages CAN succeed. I have seen it, and I for me, divorce is not an option. I'm going to be with my husband forever. Though at times, we may be separated, we will not be divided. That is my promise to my husband and myself, and he has promised the same thing.

We can work through things and we will, with our Heavenly Father's help.

Just Say No!

I have a problem saying no. This doesn't involve drugs or anything like that. I've never tried the stuff, and I never will. This is actually a family problem that has been passed down for generations. This kind of no involves sometimes turning away people who want your help.

When people need help or want me to do something for them, I have a really hard time saying no. Usually, it's fine. Usually I'm eager and able to help them in any way that I can. The problem arises when four or more people ask for my help on the same day or week.

Too much service can tucker you out!

This Sunday, I was sitting in Relief Society (our meeting for women) and they passed around a few sign-up sheets. I was feeling particularly good on Sunday, so I signed up for all of them! One was a sheet for helping the local Sister Missionaries, another was a volunteer sign-up sheet for helping at the cannery on Wednesday morning from 7-11, and the other was an announcement about indoor soccer that was starting on Tuesday at 8:30 p.m.

Sometimes I think I can do everything, and when I find out that I can't, I feel bad about it. Tuesday was going well, and then the missionaries called me during the morning and asked if I could go to a lesson with them at 6:00 p.m. I said yes. I wasn't feeling very well that day, but I went to the lesson and I felt a lot better.

It was really nice. They were teaching a nine-year-old boy who had decided, with his parent's permission, that he wanted to be baptized. He was a really sweet kid, and the spirit was strong in the lesson.

As the Sister and I left, I got a text on my phone reminding me about the cannery assignment the next morning, and it told me that we would be meeting to carpool at 6:00 a.m. (the cannery was about an hour out of town).

Whoa! I suddenly realized I didn't have a baby-sitter for Kevin. My usual baby-sitters (my grandparents) were out of town, and it was pretty late notice to be calling anyone else. However, I gave my aunt and uncle who live in town a call. They didn't answer, but I left a message and I assured them that if it was inconvenient that I would figure something else out.

I felt worn out that day, and  though I was planning on going to the indoor soccer thing that night, with the cannery the next morning and my not feeling very well, and I decided that I was going to go the next week instead. The problem with the time on that one, is that Grig and I usually try to go to bed at 8:00 p.m., and if I went to play soccer at 8:30 p.m. Grig would have to stay up and watch Kevin. That wasn't going to work out that night, especially if I had to get up to go to the cannery in the morning.

At that point I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. I felt as though I was trying to be of service to the Lord and to those around me, but I had over-stretched myself a bit much.

As we got ready for bed, I received another text from the people in charge of the cannery. They told us that the machinery had randomly broken down, so our cannery assignment had been cancelled.

Usually that would have been disappointing, but I felt as though it was the answer to an unspoken prayer. The Lord knew I was trying, and He made a way for me not to go back on my promise to help. Wednesday (aside from some craziness from Kevin) turned out to be quite a relaxing and stress-free day. I even got my bathroom clean!

Though often I've done my best to be there for everyone, sometimes it is important to just say no!

Honestly evaluate what you can actually do with the time you have, and don't forget that sometimes you have to find a babysitter before you can help others. If helping others is causing you to take away precious time from your family, try to figure out how much time you can actually spare. Service is very important, but it shouldn't become a burden on your family. Do what you can for others, but not at the risk of your own health and welfare. However, sometimes we can do more than we think we can with the Lord's help. We are His hands on this earth, and if we don't spare a few moments, who will?

Also, don't be afraid to ask for help yourself. That is something that I often struggle with. It's okay for me to help others, but not for them to help me? What kind of a contradiction is that? Service brings blessings to both those who are serving and those who are served. We need to rely on each other more and try not to hog all of the service opportunities ourselves. Other people need the blessings too!

Sometimes it's okay to say no.

Just don't overdo it, in either direction.

Service Opportunities and Lessons

There is a reason this blog is so late today.

On Sunday, a lady advised us that in the morning, we should begin our day with a prayer.  In the prayer, we should tell Heavenly Father that "I don't know what the day will bring, but whatever it is, I promise to do my best."

Over the last few days, I've been praying to do that.  Interestingly, the days have been rather exciting.  One of our neighbors got kind of sick, and I've had some opportunities to help her out. It's made it difficult to accomplish my personal goals, but I've still managed to do them mostly. Honestly, it is more important to help her out anyway. 

Then, as we complete the day, she told us that we should report to Heavenly Father how our day went, tell Him what we thought went well, and what we thought we could improve on. As we did that, she told us that He would let us know how we are doing.

As I've been trying to juggle helping my neighbor and her family with doing my own household chores, I've felt really tired at night, but content.  I've really been trying to do my best over the last week, but sometimes I've still made mistakes.

The other night, we got back from shopping and I was hungry and my knees were aching.  Right away, things starting going wrong.  The dog, who we'd left in her kennel had broken her waterdish that hooks to the kennel door.  I made myself dinner and while Grig was making his and I was making lemonade, I set down my dinner.  Kevin got into the coleslaw and started throwing it all over the carpet.  As I ran to stop him, I forgot to turn off the water and the lemonade started overflowing.  I wasted some of the flavoring and sugar.

In that moment, for an instant the frustration and energy was too much.  I began to throw my arms up in the air and spin around.  It only lasted about ten seconds, but I was a little embarrassed afterward for having lost my patience.  I didn't shout or scream, but my motions were large and angry.

I felt bad about that, and I still do.  Today has had its frustrations, but it's all going to work out okay because I'm doing my best.

As we do service opportunities, sometimes they may cause set-backs in our own schedules, but as we serve as our Savior would, the blessings that we receive and that we give others vastly outnumber the small inconveniences we might experience.

On a smaller note, I'm stoked because my planner pages are supposed to arrive today!  Then I can really get to scheduling!

Yay!

Mondays Never Go As Expected

Yesterday morning started off weird.  I woke up at 7:15, which is the time usually Kevin wakes me up. However, he was still sound asleep.  I thought to myself, "Awesome!  I can go get stuff done before he wakes up!"

Kevin sprawled

I left and went to my living room where I blogged.  I finished blogging and Kevin was still sleeping.  I thought, "It's really unusual for him to sleep in this late."  So, I went to the restroom.  While I was in there, I heard a loud sound which was followed by a dog crying out in pain several times.  I was worried that the dog downstairs (Anna a sweet little lab mix) had been hit by a car. 

I hurried out of the bathroom and rushed outside, leaving Kevin and Dakota in the house.  I didn't see a dog on the road, which relieved me at first, but I saw Anna's owner.  I said, relieved, "I thought I heard a dog yelping."

She turned to me with her cell phone to her ear and a stricken expression on her face and said, "Anna got hit by a car!"

I asked her to let me see the dog.  I've worked at a vet's office for a couple years and I completed three years of college to become a veterinarian, so I have some experience.  Mostly however, I just think that my neighbor needed someone there.

Anna was up and walking around, which was a good sign.  She let me run my hands over her body, and I put pressure as I went.  She never yelped, which was another good sign.  I did however find that she had a bloody lip, which we cleaned off with a wet paper towel, and an abrasion on her arm where the fur had been scraped off.  Other than that she seemed fine, if extremely nervous. 

She did not want to go back outside.  However, after we looked her over, we decided that she was in pretty good condition for having impacted a car.  We put on her leash and walked her outside, where I was relieved to see her eyes dilate normally.  I told her owner to keep an eye on her and if she noticed anything to take her to the vet.  Maybe she should have gone anyway, but I know that my neighbor isn't really a wealthy person. 

Anyway, as I came back inside of my house, Kevin was still sleeping. He woke up shortly thereafter. I am convinced that he stayed asleep that morning so that I could go be with my neighbor when she was all alone and stressed. 

We also had a lunch party with our cousins.  Kevin and I invited them over that morning to come and eat lunch with us.  As we were preparing for their arrival, another neighbor came over to borrow our printer and talk for a while.

That was fun, but Kevin was getting kind of grumpy when she left and just before our next guests arrived.  He kept chewing on his fingers, so I gave him some baby tylenol to help with his teething.  Sunday, his second tooth emerged.  He now has a top tooth and a bottom tooth. I think more may be on the way.

My aunt and her children arrived, but I forgot that they were scared of dogs.  So, we invited them in.  They were so cute.  Dakota just ignored them, but they very cautiously walked around her and jumped on the couch to be out of her reach.  They were pretty petrified at the beginning.  We had a lot of fun eating, playing with toys, practicing their piano, and reading books together.  They gradually got over their fear of the dog.  By the end, the oldest boy was walking her around on her leash and the other two kept asking to pet her.  We had a great time!

As soon as they left, Kevin fell asleep.  He'd been awake since 8:30 and he finally crashed at 2:30.  He slept until his dad got home, woke up briefly, then resumed his nap until I woke him up at 6:00.  Since we are trying to go to bed at 7:00, we thought waking him up might be good.

We had new neighbors moving in next door, so Grig was helping them move in while I stayed in with the sleeping baby.  We were going to go shopping after Grig got home, but since he ended up helping haul couches and boxes, we ended up only going to Sam's Club and Smith's.  We wanted fried chicken!

All in all, the day didn't go as planned, but for the most part ended up better than we ever could have hoped for.  We love to serve others, and it is wonderful how many opportunities we have from living in this apartment complex.

Life is good.

Our Aloe Vera Plant

Just before Kevin was born, Grig decided to buy me a plant.  Due to the fact that we generally weren't very good at keeping plants alive, we decided to get a very sturdy one.  We decided on an Aloe Vera.

Our poor Aloe Vera came to us in a small pot. It was about 2 in. x 2 in. x 4 in. in volume.  It was big enough when we first bought it, but the plant continued to grow.  We kept saying that we were going to get a bigger pot, but we never did.  We would water it occasionally, and it continued to grow.  Eventually, the dirt in the small pot simply wasn't big enough for the poor plant.  When we looked inside of the pot, there was very little dirt left, but somehow, the plant continued to survive.

All the soil left on the plant when we transplanted it

Last week, we finally buckled down and went to a local thrift store.  We were able to find a much larger plant pot and then we went to Lowe's and bought potting soil.  It was one of the few places we could find it at this time of year. 

We took our poor little plant and removed it from the small confines where it had lived for over a year and transplanted it to a much bigger pot with fresh soil.  Almost immediately, the plant looked better.  

Now, almost a week later, here's the plant:

Much happier plant

What's the point of all this?

Sometimes I treat other people like I treated that Aloe Vera plant.  I am well aware that they are in distress, but I'm too busy or I don't know how to help.  Somehow they manage to survive, but it is not because of me. When we see someone in need and we have the capability to help, we need to do what we can. 

I've been trying to do better at that.  I think we acted soon enough to save the life of our plant.  May we do the same with our neighbors and friends.

Also, I really am bad at taking care of plants.  Dogs are much easier for some reason.

Of Mice and Moving

Yesterday was a cray day.  It started out normal enough.  I spent the morning blogging, working on stories, working on the next Dragon and the Wolf video (which will be coming out on the 15th), playing with Kevin, cooking, and cleaning.

However, about 3 p.m. (I have to put the p.m., because this week I've been up helping Grig get to work at 3 a.m.), I got a text from our neighbor.  As a side note, this neighbor is the one whose daughter (Angela) we've been babysitting.  They were moving out and they needed help.  The mother is pregnant, and the grandmother who lives with her had knee surgery a few months ago.

Grig's brother, who is living with us, was the only help I had.  I put on my baby backpack, stuck Kevin in, and he and I went to work.  We started moving out all of their stuff.  Here's a neat thing that happened though.  A couple weeks ago, we pulled all of the boxes from our house that we'd used to move in.  We broke them apart, and put them in our trunk.  We kept meaning to take them to the recycling center, but it never happened.  Turns out, that was a blessing.  Our neighbors really needed those boxes.

However, Grig was at work until 3:30, so I told them that they would have to wait until Grig brought the car back home.  She said that was fine, and so my brother-in-law and I took out what we could until Grig came home.

Except he never came!  It was 4:00, and he still hadn't shown up.  Kevin was getting tired, thirsty, and sweaty from being in the backpack.  I was thirsty as well, so we went up to get a drink.  Do you know how hard it is to help a baby drink from a sippy cup when they're on your back?  We did a rather complicated dance for a while, and then I slipped off one of the shoulder straps, and we succeeded.  Luckily, once I get the cup to him, he can hold it alright.  At 4:10, I checked my phone.  Grig had texted to tell me he wouldn't be home until 4:30.  We kept working.  Finally, at 4:45, he came home.  My brother-in-law had needed to eat something and Grig had just come home from a twelve hour workday, so I told him to go shower, and I left Kevin with my brother-in-law while I went to get the boxes.

The boxes were stacked in such a way that it was easiest to carry them if you had two people because then you could grab the biggest one together and all the other boxes sat on top.  That's how Grig and I carried it out.  However, I didn't remember that until I got the car pulled up to the side of the apartment.  So, it ended up taking me three trips to get all the boxes up.  There wasn't much more we could do at that point, but I told them to let us know when they needed us to help haul boxes down again.

About a half an hour later, after Grig and his brother had left to run a couple errands quick, Angela's mother knocked on my door.

"Look what we found in my ex-boyfriend's shoe," she said.  She pointed down to the ground and there on our stairway were four baby mice.  She explained that her ex had some to get his stuff, and as he loaded his shoes, he'd seen something in the bag.  He'd opened it and a mouse had run down the stairs to the outside world.  Then he pounded out his shoes and out came the baby mice.

They were so cute!  Their eyes weren't even open, and they were shaking.  They were at that adorable stage where, when they try to move, they just kind of wobble.  Their skin was a light gray color and they were so tiny.

Here's the dilemma.  The mother mouse had run away.  I couldn't hand feed baby mice.  We didn't have the tools or money to provide for them.  If we didn't do something, they would just starve to death.  Or...we have a pet snake.

I was quite a bit torn about this.  They were really cute, and I really love animals.  I've killed very few in my life (one mink actually, and that is an interesting story that I will tell another time.)  However, these mice were going to die anyway.  I felt like at least if they fed our snake there would be a purpose to their death.  So, I scooped them into a tupperware that we use to thaw out the mice that we feed Oryx (our snake) and I left them in there until Grig got home.  I really hated to kill them.  I called my dad whose advice I trust and told him the situation.  He recommended that we freeze the mice so they wouldn't spread diseases, just in case.  He also said that freezing was a pretty humane way to kill them.

From what I've heard, it's really cold for a while, but then you feel warm and you just go to sleep.  So, when Grig got home, we talked it over and stuck the mice in the freezer.  Grig thinks we might need to boil them after to freeze them, just in case.  We'll see.  We both felt pretty bad about it, but it was comforting to know that their deaths would at least have some purpose.

Okay, so maybe we're weird for worrying about killing a couple of baby mice.  Or maybe we're cruel for killing them.  Regardless of your opinion, we were trying to make the right decision.  Maybe it would have been more humane to just smash them and put them out of their misery, but I couldn't do that.  I feel like we made the right choice.  The only question I had at the end was this:

Where's a cat when you need one?  

Anyway, when Grig and his brother got home they finished helping them move while I got the kids out of the way for a while.

So, it was a good day.  Crazy, but good. It's always nice to help out a neighbor, and we really appreciated the opportunity to help them.  We've been trying to be good neighbors and we're sad that they're moving, but she's pretty excited about it so we're happy for her.

And that is the story Of Mice and Moving.