Yesterday, something was said at church that reminded me of a special experience I had just before I got married.
A few weeks before I got married, I remember distinctly one night when I was driving home. We'd already paid for our cruise, and the invitations had already been sent. However, as was pausing at a stoplight, I had the very distinct impression that I needed to pray and ask Heavenly Father if I really should marry my fiance.
As the impression struck me, I felt fear rise up within me. I felt like I had received my answer previously, and I didn't know why Heavenly Father would want me to ask again.
What if the answer was no? I immediately imagined the embarrassment of trying to tell everyone the wedding was off. We'd also lose all of the money that we put into the cruise. Not to mention, I rather liked Grig and didn't want to tell him that we weren't supposed to be together.
However, as all these thoughts swept through my mind, I decided that if my Heavenly Father told me I shouldn't marry Grig, I wouldn't. I knew that my Father knew better than I did what the future held, and I needed to put him first.
So I prayed. I asked my Heavenly Father if I was supposed to marry Grig. As soon as I did, I was flooded with warmth and assurance. I knew that I was making the right decision, and I was so grateful I asked.
I have often thought since then, why did I feel the need to ask if the answer was yes?
I realized that I had to be willing to put Heavenly Father first. Even though I love my husband dearly, if the Lord said no, I was going to be willing to put His will first. That lesson has served us well throughout our marriage.
Many marriages are failing because people are selfish. If their spouse stops fulfilling their needs, they break it off.
Marriage isn't supposed to be about having someone else fulfill your needs though, it supposed to be about loving and serving each other. If your every focus is to serve your spouse, and they reciprocate that same feeling, your needs will be met as you meet the needs of your best friend. As we work toward becoming more like our Heavenly Father, we become more service-oriented. We begin to love people with a more Christ-like love.
One of my favorite quotes goes:
God loves you just the way you are. However, he loves you too much to let you stay that way.I don't know who said this originally, but I believe it's true. If we love those around us with a Christ-like love, we want them to improve because we know righteous living will make THEM happier. In a marriage, we should always be striving to improve ourselves and help our spouses with their goals. We don't make their goals for them, but as they set goals, we should ask them how we can help them attain them.
Marriage is often seen as a contrivance. However, we as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that marriages (performed under the authority of the Lord) can last forever. Helaman 10:7 says:
Behold, I give unto you power, that whatsoever ye shall seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven; and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven; and thus shall ye have power among this people.We believe that marriage is eternal and that families are central to our Heavenly Father's plan. If the marriage is supposed to last forever, 40 or 50 years should be a beautiful beginning.
I know that this is true. I know that marriage is important to our Heavenly Father. I know that as we put our Heavenly Father first, our marriage will grow stronger as we grow closer to Him. Marriages CAN succeed. I have seen it, and I for me, divorce is not an option. I'm going to be with my husband forever. Though at times, we may be separated, we will not be divided. That is my promise to my husband and myself, and he has promised the same thing.
We can work through things and we will, with our Heavenly Father's help.