Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Disturbing Similarities Between Child and Pet Adoption Sites

 http://romprescue.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Foster-a-dog-tax-deduction.jpg

Back when we didn't have a dog yet, I spent some time perusing petfinder.com and adoptapet.com.  Both were wonderful sites for finding rescue pets who needed homes.  Online, there are thousands of videos showing pets who have been rescued from the streets and are in need of "forever homes".  They ask people who want to help to donate money, or go into foster care.

People spend millions paying for their pets every year.  Taking them to the vet, buying them toys, and donating to pets that are in need of homes.  I've even seen cases where concerned and generous people will pay to help a dog have corrective surgery so that it can live a normal life for only a few more years.
I'm not saying that's bad.  I love animals, and I appreciate all the people out there in the world who do their best to help living creatures in need.  However, in 2011, people spent $61 BILLION on pets, and every year that number continues to rise.  People spent roughly three times more on pet costumes than they do on costumes for their children. Here the article where I got that information if you want to read it: "Millions on Pet Halloween Costumes? Why We Spend More and More on Pets"  In this article, it mentions that part of the reason for this trend is that Americans are waiting longer to have children, and then living longer after their children leave home.  However, because they still feel the need to nurture, they buy pets, and then treat them like the children they don't have.

Another interesting article "Why America's Falling Birth Rate is Sensational News for the Pet Industry".  This article talks about how the majority of people who are spending so much on their pets are those with lots of money and no children.  However, it mentions that in some homes with children, the pets are now on equal ground and treated identically.

That makes me a little sick, I'm not going to lie.  As much as I love our dog, Kevin, and other children that we are going to have, will always come first.  She is a pet.  They are my offspring.

I'll admit, I've been occasionally tempted to be a foster-care home for a pet in need, but then I remembered that there was an entirely more important type of foster care system out there.

The foster care of children. Why are we so willing to help an animal in need, but we ignore the cries of hungry children all over the world?

I have a few friends who foster and adopt children.  One of them recently was explaining why they do that to me.  I found the conversation fascinating.  The couple now has five children total and two are foster with pending adoption.  She told me that if you are going to foster children you need to be willing to adopt them on a permanent basis.  "Children can accept that their original home had issues," she said, "but when they come to your home, that doesn't have any problems and you send them away, the child begins to ask 'What is wrong with me?'"  She told me that when they decided to foster, they made the decision that they would only foster to adopt.  She then continued, "If my own child had something horrible happen to them, I wouldn't send them away when they misbehaved.  If they come into my home, they become my own children."

That was a really neat conversation.  I'm seriously thinking about fostering and adopting now.  Right now, we're not at the right place for it, but eventually we might be.  Children are more important than pets.  This is an absolute fact.  People have argued that we are just animals and we are no better than them, thus we should treat them the same as we would be treated, but even animals will care for their young before anything else.  Shouldn't we do the same?  Children are our future, animals are not, regardless if 1 million people have left their pets as their sole benefactor. 

Today, another friend posted a link to an adoption site with children in need.  Here's the link: http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs124/1101154865724/archive/1115286336660.html I went there, and to my horror, found almost the exact same phrases used that were used at the pet adoption sites.

"These siblings will soon be separated!" "Gets along well with others" "Controls impulses" "Health Concerns" "Special Needs"  "Awaiting her forever home"

It sounded like the descriptions were written by the same people!

I don't know about you, but if it came down to helping a dog that was starving on the side of the street and helping a child, I would help the child.  Ideally we would do both, but really, the child should come first.  I wish we spent as much time and money and youtube videos advertising for those children in need as we do for those animals. 

http://www.in.gov/dcs/images/SupermanhadFosterParentstoo.jpg

2 comments:

  1. I utterly agree. It is so sad to see kids being labeled by their "problems" when those problems are a result of their very difficult circumstances. I challenge someone to find a child who doesn't deserve a chance. Even the most difficult child with the most difficult problems isn't at fault for their problems. We believe in the age of accountability--that means if they're under eight, they aren't sinning. That means all those behaviors, no matter what they are, are not sins. And the child needs love and help. And even over eight, we can't decide that a kid is bad because of what they've learned.

    THe only caution is, make sure it's right. Pray about it. Think of your other kids & how it will affect them--that's not bad, it's important. think of how it will affect your family. Examine all the possibilities, including worst-case scenarios, and think how you'd handle them. I think the descriptions on those sites are more cautionary procedures on the part of child advocates--making sure a parent is aware & ready to handle issues so a child isn't displaced after being put in a home, which can be the most devastating thing for a child who has experienced significant loss & trauma.

    Kids are important. Dogs are cute. But kids... yeah.

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  2. Thanks for sharing! We've talked about adoption pretty seriously (especially with our circumstances). And I agree with Sarah, it's a very important decision and it needs to be right. I've had friends caution me against adoption because of what can happen when a family and child don't work together. I've seen the good that adoption can do as well as the bad.

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