Prayers and Faith

We've been learning a lot of lessons lately as we've been waiting for prayers to be answered.

It's been over three years since we started trying to have a second child, and at times it has been heart-breaking and terrible. It has also taught us so much, and I'm so grateful for the lessons that I have learned.

One of the most recent lessons came from a friend of mine. She had gone through a similar experience, but in her case, she had to wait seven years for her second child! That's seems like such a long time. I know Abraham's wife, Sarah, had to wait even longer, and I can't even imagine. However, never once do we hear of her complaining or doubting.

Anyway, my friend told me, that when her son turned three, he decided he wanted a little sister, and every day for four years this little boy prayed for a sister. Never once did he ask why God hadn't answered his prayers. He just continued to pray in faith, knowing that the Lord would answer when the time was right. She told me that she learned a lot about prayer from her son.

I'm really grateful to her for sharing that experience with me, and hope that she doesn't mind that I have shared it on here. It made a big difference in my understanding of how to pray.

I think sometimes, I get impatient with the Lord. I think, "I'm ready now, please send the blessings!" and then nothing happens.

I'm learning, albeit slowly, to trust. It's one thing to tell myself that I know that God can do anything, and another thing to believe that His timing is perfect and trust in that. I'm realizing that faith without patience and trust, isn't really faith at all. It is me, showing Heavenly Father that I think I know better than Him. If I truly believe that He wants what's best for me, I also need to believe that He knows when is best for me.

Unlike my friend's son, I have doubted and struggled. Every month, it has seemed that I've gotten my hopes up, only to have disappointment spear through me like a knife.

I've struggled with knowing how to hope, while avoiding the pain of disappointment and continuing to pray faithfully for a child.

I know it is a righteous desire, and I have received confirmation that we will have another child from my Heavenly Father. I only need to have patience and trust that the child will come when he/she is supposed to.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' Bible dictionary, under the topic of prayer, it says:

As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

I love how it says that prayer is the "act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other." Some of the best prayers I've ever said are when I've asked Heavenly Father to help me know what to pray for. Then, when he has, my prayers sound different, and I know the things that are said will come to pass.

Sometimes it's hard to keep praying for things when it seems like the answers will never come, but by doing so, we show our faith and trust in Heavenly Father. It is difficult, but the more that I've been doing it, the more peace I've had inside that the promised blessings will come as I patiently hope and trust in Him and His timing.

I know that Heavenly Father wants what's best for me. As I strive to bend myself to His will, I become more like Him. The greatest blessings in my life have come as I've heeded His counsel and done my best to follow the promptings that I've received. I am so grateful for all He has given me, and I'm trying to remember to thank Him for the blessings I already have. If I'm not grateful for what I've been given, why would He give me more?

MM: Season of Giving

We've been focusing a lot recently on why we give gifts at Christmas.

It's been really important to Grig and I that Kevin understands the purpose of Christmas. We really want him to know that it is supposed to be about Christ.

Don't get me wrong, I love Santa Claus. I think the whole tradition is a lot of fun and it's one of the things that I really look forward to at Christmas. I even dreamed that it was Christmas Eve last night and we were getting ready for everything.

However, I have also been realizing that it's up to us to make Christmas non-commercialized in our home. I never really felt like Christmas was all that commercialized. My parents didn't focus on Santa that much, and when Christmas came we were excited about our presents, but there were a lot of Christ-centered traditions that we also looked forward to and loved.

Christmas was about family and about the birth of our Savior. Each Christmas Eve we acted out the Nativity and read the story from the Bible. I loved playing the donkey and letting Mary ride on my back. (Usually a younger sibling played Mary.)

We would also read the story and place the pieces of my parents' olive wood Nativity set up on a shelf as we talked about each character. It was beautiful, and we always waited to put baby Jesus in the manger until Christmas Eve.

Grig and I are still new at this whole marriage business, and we're still figuring out our own traditions. This year has been especially exciting for me, because Kevin is really starting to understand what Christmas is all about and what is going to happen.

With that increased understanding, have come increased opportunities for teaching. We've been trying really hard to explain the reason that Santa Claus brings gifts on Christmas. We've tried to stress that we give and receive gifts on Christmas because the wise men gave gifts to the Savior, and the Savior himself was the greatest gift that we've ever received.

I don't know how much Kevin understands, but I know as we keep trying to help him understand that Santa is a symbol of Christ, that our home will be filled with the right kind of spirit each Christmas.

Speaking of the man in the red suit, Kevin went to visit him tonight. He was so excited to see him...until he actually saw him. Suddenly, he didn't want to let go of my leg. We did make him take a picture, but he wasn't very happy about it.

Poor Kevin. We've probably traumatized him for life. 

Santa was a good sport, and afterwards, Kevin thanked him and wished him a Merry Christmas. It ended up being a good experience.

It did make me think a bit however. I was thinking about how Kevin would have reacted if Christ had been sitting there instead of Santa. I really think that if it had been Christ sitting there, that Kevin wouldn't have been scared. I think he would have ran right up to him and climbed on his knee. I hope that I would also not be frightened or guilt-ridden, but that I would want to run up to him and hug him, or even just sit next to him and listen to him.

As the Christmas season has been upon us, I've really been trying to focus my studies on Christ. I feel like I don't know Him as well as I want to. I believe in Him, and I know with all my heart that He lives, but I don't feel as close to Him as I want to. I'm trying to rectify that.

The other night, someone rang our doorbell. We went to answer it, and we found that no one was there, but someone had left of box of food on our porch.

I have no idea who did that, but I feel so grateful to them. We aren't starving, and we've been blessed abundantly this holiday, but it means the world that someone thought about our family and wanted to do something nice for us. It really made me grateful for the wonderful area that we live in, and for the incredible people we know.

I know that Christmas can be about our Savior. I know that as we try to emulate Him this holiday season, that the spirit of Christ was permeate our homes and bring peace to our souls. I know that as we look for ways to serve others, that we will become more like Christ, and will be able to help others find peace and joy in their hearts as well.

Merry Christmas!

May you each have the kind of holiday that will give you pleasant memories for years to come.

MM: The Power of Toddler Prayers

Due to NaNoWriMo, my blogs may be a little shorter, but I'm still trying to continue writing.

Our car has been having a few issues lately. Mostly, it hates relief society meetings. The last two times I've gone to a relief society activity, the car wouldn't start after it finished. Grig hasn't had any problems with it at all. It just hates me.

I prayed really hard the first time it happened, and after a little while, it started up.

The second time, I came out of the church after helping clean up to discover my car wouldn't start again. I had Kevin in the back seat, and I prayed really hard, and it wouldn't start. So, Kevin and I went in to get some more things and ask if anybody could give us a jump. Some women said they'd be there in a minute. So, Kevin and I went back out to the car and tried again. The car once again wouldn't start.

So, I turned to the back seat and said to Kevin, "Would you pray that the car will start?" He nodded and folded his arms. Then he said a very simple prayer and asked Heavenly Father to help the car start.

Once he finished, I turned the key in the ignition again. The car started right up. Just as it did so, another woman drove up and asked if I still needed a jump. I told her I didn't, but thank you. We then drove home.

I know that the Lord answered my son's prayer. I think that He hears the prayers of little children and as long as the prayer isn't contrary to the Spirit, He answers their prayers.

Today, I asked Kevin if he wanted a brother or a sister. He became very excited and said, "Yes." Then, about ten minutes later, I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He told me, "Brothers and sisters."

That was pretty funny. However, I explained to him that we couldn't choose when to have babies, but that Heavenly Father would send them. Then I asked him if he wanted to pray to ask Heavenly Father to send brothers and sisters. He said that he wanted to, so we kneeled down and he said a prayer.

I love how much he likes to pray and how much faith he has. I wish my faith was as strong. Toddlers are pretty amazing people, and miracles happen when they exercise their faith.

I love this kid

MM: Hushing our Fears

We are officially down to the last week.

Grig's job ends on Saturday. If we don't find a new job before then, we are unemployed.

Though we have had many reassurances throughout these last few month, we are still becoming somewhat stressed. It's not so easy to have peace and faith when a deadline is looming on the horizon.

That's not to say that we're doubting the Lord, or the feelings that we've had. Instead, we just aren't sure about His timing. His timing is often not the same as our timing.

When Grig ends this Saturday, he will get 2 weeks worth of severance pay for sticking it out to the end. He will also receive his unused vacation time in a monetary form. Add all that to the fact that this is a three pay-period month, and we have a bit of extra money to live off of.

Personally, I've been hoping and praying that having this extra money will mean that we can have a baby soon, but the fear inside my heart is saying that it just means we'll use it all up while Grig is looking for a job.

While speaking about this to my mother today, she reminded me of a talk from a General Conference a few months ago. It was given by Elder Bednar, and it was titled "Therefore They Hushed Their Fears."

In his talk, he says:

An example from the Book of Mormon highlights the power of the knowledge of the Lord (see 2 Peter 1:2–8;Alma 23:5–6) to dispel fear and provide peace even as we confront great adversity.

In the land of Helam, Alma’s people were frightened by an advancing Lamanite army.

“But Alma went forth and stood among them, and exhorted them that they should not be frightened, but … should remember the Lord their God and he would deliver them.

“Therefore they hushed their fears” (Mosiah 23:27–28).

Notice Alma did not hush the people’s fears. Rather, Alma counseled the believers to remember the Lord and the deliverance only He could bestow (see 2 Nephi 2:8). And knowledge of the Savior’s protecting watchcare enabled the people to hush their own fears...

...But can we hush the fears that so easily and frequently beset us in our contemporary world? The answer to this question is an unequivocal yes. Three basic principles are central to receiving this blessing in our lives: (1) look to Christ, (2) build upon the foundation of Christ, and (3) press forward with faith in Christ. 

 I really appreciated this reminder from my mother. These last few months have been a series of trials. However, they have also been a series of miracles. Each trial has in some way also been a blessing. We have learned so much and grown quite a bit.

One of the biggest miracles that we received today was when Grig's job has offered employees to work in the line next week. Grig volunteered. If you work even one day in a month, the insurance covers you for that entire month. That will mean that we have insurance in November as well. Hopefully by the end of November, we will have found a job.

Despite these miracles, I am still struggling with my faith. It is hard to wait for promised blessings. As I look forward to Christmas and realize that we may not be able to afford much this year, I feel strange. Though my parents made little and were never rich, we never wanted for anything. I've never had to worry about not receiving Christmas presents.

Honestly, I don't know that I have to worry about it this year either. We've already had kind friends and family step in and tell us that they will buy Christmas for us if we can't.

As I am writing this blog and trying to talk about my fears and stress, I keep having all of the wonderful blessings that we have received come into my mind and push away the worry. Perhaps writing this blog was what I needed after all.

Link

One of the biggest blessings that I personally have received this week is that Kevin has been potty-training himself. Last weekend, he woke up and randomly said, "I need to go potty." He has had very few accidents since. He has yet to poop in the potty, but he hasn't had any kind of accident in two days. That's been really exciting for me, and for some reason, I am just bursting with pride with how he's doing.

I feel like I'm one of those random mothers who wants to yell, "My son's using the potty!" in the middle of the grocery store because I am so proud of him. I never thought I'd want to do something like that.

I haven't yet, but I want to.

So, despite the fact that we're a bit stressed and worried, we are trying to turn to the Savior and allow Him to hush our fears. We have had quite a bit of peace, and when I focus on that, I can feel the stress dissolve. That doesn't mean that it is gone, but it certainly helps.

We know the Lord told us to buy this home for a reason. We also know that He will provide as we do what He asks us to do. We have been trying to be obedient and charitable. I know that Grig will find a job, and it will be the job that the Lord wants him to have.

Things will work out.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

MM: The Souls of Animals

I love animals. I always have.

One of my favorite truths that we're taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that everything is a creation of our Heavenly Father.

We believe that every living thing has a soul. If you want to read further on teaching of the church concerning this, there is an article about it called "The Gospel and Animals." I took a lot of my sources from this article.

One of Grig's and my favorite stories about Joseph Smith, the first president of the church, happened during the Zion’s Camp expedition in 1834, an incident occurred that allowed a practical application of concern for animal life. As related by the Prophet Joseph Smith in his history:

“In pitching my tent we found three massasaugas or prairie rattlesnakes, which the brethren were about to kill, but I said, ‘Let them alone—don’t hurt them! How will the serpent ever lose his venom, while the servants of God possess the same disposition, and continue to make war upon it? Men must become harmless, before the brute creation; and when men lose their vicious dispositions and cease to destroy the animal race, the lion and the lamb can dwell together, and the sucking child can play with the serpent in safety.’ The brethren took the serpents carefully on sticks and carried them across the creek. I exhorted the brethren not to kill a serpent, bird, or an animal of any kind during our journey unless it became necessary in order to preserve ourselves from hunger.” (Documentary History of the Church, vol. 2, pp. 71–72.)

He goes on to state concerning the resurrection of animals:

“Says one, ‘I cannot believe in the salvation of beasts.’ Any man who would tell you this could not be, would tell you that the revelations are not true. John heard the words of the beast giving glory to God, and understood them. God who made the beasts could understand every language spoken by them. The beasts were four of the most noble animals that filled the measure of their creation, and had been saved from other worlds, because they were perfect. They were like angels in their sphere. We are not told where they came from, and I do not know; but they were seen and heard by John praising and glorifying God.” (DHC, vol. 5, pp. 343–44.)  

This is especially applicable and comforting to me today.

Dakota isn't doing well. After a lot of prayer and thought, we've decided it is time to put her down. The vet will be here soon to do so.  It's been a difficult few months, but I know that Dakota will be happier when she's free of her mortal pain.

I just know her spirit's going to be running laps in joy and that she'll be waiting on the other side for the time when we join her.

While revising the Bible, the Prophet desired further understanding concerning the four beasts mentioned in Revelation 4:6 [Rev. 4:6]. Section 77 of the Doctrine and Covenants contained the response from the Lord. The answer revealed that “heaven, the paradise of God,” contained beasts, creeping things, and fowls of the air, and “every other creature which God has created.” (D&C 77:2.)

I know that animals have souls and that God loves each and everyone of them. I know we will be accountable for how to treat the animals and people under our care.

MM: What My Toddler Learned from Conference

Kevin is only two years old.

He'll turn three in a few months, but it isn't very realistic to expect him to sit through eight (non-consecutive) hours  of general conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and understand much of it.

However, I was touched when during one of the sessions, Kevin turned to me and said, "Heavenly Father?" He had heard one of the speakers mention him. When I confirmed what he had heard, he then said, "Heavenly Father loves me?"

I told him that yes, Heavenly Father loved him very much. He nodded, as though verifying what I had said, and then repeated, "Heavenly Father loves me!"

He said this several times during the several sessions. When he would hear the names of Heavenly Father or Jesus, he would perk up and repeat, "Jesus loves me!"

I loved it. He even made up a song about it and sang it several times. I was pretty proud of his understanding. He is a great kid, and I am so grateful for him.

I loved conference as well. There were so many talks that seemed to just be targeted at me.

As some of you know, it's been a rough week for our family. Grig's sister who has been living with us, suddenly ended up in the hospital during the beginning of last week. I don't want to include much, because that's really her story, but I will give you a cliff-notes version. She essentially has a tumor in her brain that has been blocking spinal fluid from leaving her head. The pressure built up to a point where she wasn't able to remember the names of normal things, and every thing that she said came out in gibberish. She also lost the ability to walk. We rushed her to the hospital, and they were able to release the excess fluid.

Thank you for all of your prayers and kind words.

She actually is back at our home now (she returned today) and out of immediate danger. This tumor has been growing for years, and she still needs to have it removed, but once she's recovered enough from her first surgery, they are going to fly her back to Virginia and treat her there.

It has been a pretty crazy and stressful week, and I have found great comfort in the words of living prophets and apostles.

I am also pleased that, even though Kevin didn't understand much, he was taught the most important principle of the gospel. It made me feel like maybe we're doing something right.

I am so grateful for my family. Both my own family, and my in-laws. It's been wonderful to get to know Grig's family better and to watch them pull together during this difficult time. I am so grateful that they have welcomed me with open arms, and that they have been so kind to me. I couldn't ask for a better family to marry into.

In my side of the family, it's been a pretty momentous couple of weeks as well. Both of my married brothers' wives gave birth. I now have one new niece and one new nephew. That has been a wonderful blessing this week, though I have yet to meet the two newest members of my family.

Throughout all of these trials and blessings, I do know that Heavenly Father loves me and my family. That theme has seemed to permeate our home this week, and I am so grateful for His love. We saw many miracles as we tried to help Grig's sister and when we took her to the hospital. One thing that happened was the night before when I went and took Kevin's car seat out of the car because I had been going to make salsa with my grandma. Having the car seat ended up being a huge blessing.

I have seen many tender mercies, and I am very grateful for the love we have seen and felt. I am grateful that my son learned something from conference, even at his tender age. I was really surprised to find out how well he was actually listening, and very proud of him and the connections that he made.

I don't think there is a more important lesson that he could learn.

MM: Suicide

Suicide is a difficult topic in our society.

Often, people condemn those who've committed suicide to hell or damnation, and this can be very difficult for those who knew and loved the people who chose to take their lives. We want the best for them, and often the suicide occurred because of very difficult and misunderstood circumstances.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are grateful that we are not the one who will be judging at the last days. I have been thinking about suicide quite a bit lately, because I have had some friends who have lost family because of it. However, tonight, as I was studying, I found a very comforting article by Elder Russell M. Nelson. It's called Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some Things We Do Not. 

This is a talk given back in 1987, but it is as true today as it was then. If anyone you know is suffering from the loss of someone who has committed suicide, I would recommend reading it. It is a talk of hope.

Elder Nelson makes the point that although the taking of human life, including our own, is a sin, the prophets have NEVER stated where such souls will end up. The Lord does hold us accountable for our own choices, but he is also a kind and just God who understands the circumstances of our decisions in ways that we simply cannot.

Many people who choose to commit suicide are suffering from chemical imbalances and other extraneous circumstances. It is hard to say how much control they really have in the end. Suicide is a tragedy, both for those who leave this earth prematurely, and especially for those who are left behind.

I also read another article tonight about a mother whose son committed suicide. It was called Sustained by God's Love. One of the things that really helped the mother feel loved and comforted after her son's death was the fact that no one in her congregation condemned her son. They simply showed love and did their best to serve them at that challenging time.

Instead of being judgmental toward those who have committed suicide, we should do our best to comfort the families that are left behind. I think telling people that their son/daughter/father/mother/other family member/friend who died is going to hell is akin to taking a knife in someone's back and twisting it around and digging deeper. They already have a gaping wound. We don't need to make it worse.

We are never asked to judge whether people are going to heaven or hell. That judgement is reserved alone for the Lord. Instead, we are told to love one another, and to do our best to help others be happy.

In one portion of Elder Nelson's talk, he quoted President Joseph Smith who said:

“While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard. … He is a wise Lawgiver, and will judge all men, not according to the narrow, contracted notions of men, but, ‘according to the deeds done in the body whether they be good or evil,’ or whether these deeds were done in England, America, Spain, Turkey, or India. … We need not doubt the wisdom and intelligence of the Great Jehovah; He will award judgment or mercy to all nations according to their several deserts, their means of obtaining intelligence, the laws by which they are governed, the facilities afforded them of obtaining correct information, and His inscrutable designs in relation to the human family; and when the designs of God shall be made manifest, and the curtain of futurity be withdrawn, we shall all of us eventually have to confess that the Judge of all the earth has done right.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, ed. Joseph Fielding Smith, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1938, p. 218.)

The death of a loved one is a tragedy and everyone experiences grief in different ways. Listen to those who are suffering. Even after a few weeks or months, they are probably still struggling with it. Everyone deals with sorrow in their own way and time. It is not our place to tell them when they should be "over it." Really, they probably never will be.

I know I wouldn't be.

Personally, I have been blessed to not yet experience personal loss. The thought of losing any of my family members terrifies me. Even understanding the Lord's Plan of Salvation, and knowing that their is life after death and I can see my family again, I am unprepared for the separation.

However, I also know that when the time comes that my family members leave this earth, I know the Lord will give me strength where I have none, and peace that will help me keep going. The Lord loves all of His children, and He will judge each of us perfectly so that we can be in the place that will bring us the most comfort and joy.

Elder Nelson ended his talk with these words:

As I think about the worry and agony of those whose loved one has taken his or her own life, I find deep comfort and faith in the Lord’s promise and blessing to us who remain in mortality: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)

I pray that those who have lost loved ones to this terrible tragedy will find comfort and joy in Christ. He can help you through any trial, and give you the strength to move forward. We pray for you and your families as you continue to do your best to continue on, when the future seems so dark. We love you, and wish you peace and joy in the memories of those who are gone.

They will live again.

I know this is true.

MM: The Good You Do

Yesterday, we watched a video produced by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's called "You Never Know How Much Good You Do."

Here's the video if you'd like to watch it. I highly recommend it.

A lot of times, we try our best to organize our time with good things. Then, something unexpected happens, and your whole day's plans are messed up.

I am trying a new way to schedule my time. In the mornings, after I make Kevin breakfast, I read my scriptures. Then, I plan out my day by writing down the things I was trying to get done. Once I write down my list, I then designate chunks of time to the specific things. I finish by praying that the plan I have made is acceptable to the Lord.

Last week, I managed to do this Monday-Thursday. At night, when I said my evening prayers, I would report back to the Lord on how I did each day. I don't know if I've every felt better about how I used my time. Friday and Saturday, I didn't do quite as well, but I'm trying again this week.

The funny thing, is I was also praying for opportunities to serve someone else, and I definitely had those prayers answered. Nearly every day I had some unexpected opportunity to help someone.

They weren't huge acts of service, and sometimes it ended up changing my entire schedule, but I was still able to get everything on my list done.

I think that we often have a list of things to get done, and if we don't finish it, we feel like failures. However, when we accomplish the list that the Lord has for us, then it doesn't matter if we finish our own list.

I loved this video, because it really showed the consequences of her choices and how much she'd really helped other people.

We don't always know the good that we can do, but the Lord does. The Lord knows what He wants us to accomplish each day and who he wants us to help. If we listen and act upon those opportunities, we will be led and guided to where we can do the most good.

You never know what blessings your tiny acts of service can bring to yourself and to others.

Mormon Monday: Where Your Treasure Is

Yesterday, in Sunday School, we were reading Luke 12: 34 and for some reason it really hit me. This particular scripture says:

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Lately, we've gotten a bunch of car ads that have contests in them. You know, the ones where if you scratch off the number and it matches the number inside of the ad, you win something? Well, both times, we've won something.

We haven't taken turned them in. The first one, we didn't have time, and the second one, it was too far away.

Later, I talked to a friend, and she told me that she won a spin on the wheel and got five dollars. That was probably the same thing we won, and so I decided that I shouldn't worry about it anyway.

That didn't stop my mind from wondering what I'd do if we won $25,000.

Part of me likes to plan, so I thought, "How would I spend that money?"

We'd probably replace our roof (though we actually got it repaired on Friday, so that's not as much of a crisis anymore). We'd build a fence around our yard, and pay off Jacob's school debt. We'd put the rest into savings, except for enough to go on a trip to Virginia to visit family.

However, if you think about money for too long, especially free money that requires no work, you start thinking of other ways that you can earn money.

I applied for a job to be an adjunct teacher at BYU-Idaho. I wasn't accepted, but that extra money would have been really nice. Grig and I are not dying at the moment, but we're also don't have as much in savings as we'd like to. I have been a bit stressed about money lately, and so it's pretty easy to have it in my thoughts a lot.

The rest of the Luke chapter talks about how if we seek the kingdom of God first, everything else will be provided. It also stresses the fact that temporal treasures don't last forever, but the blessings and treasures that the Lord will provide us if we're faithful, will last for all eternity.

It helped put things into perspective for me. We've already been trying to live faithfully, but it doesn't hurt to be reminded that money is really nothing.

It is necessary to live on, right now, but eventually it will become obsolete. When that day comes, where are will my treasures be?

I've been combining our family videos from the day we got married onto dvds.

It has been a joy to watch Kevin change from a small baby into the adorable toddler that he is. It is hard to believe that so much has happened in the last three years. I have so many blessings, and occasionally when stresses for the future come, and forget about all the blessings.

I am going to make more of an effort to worry less about money, and more about helping others and serving my Heavenly Father. I know that as I do my best, and follow the promptings that I am given, that the Lord will guide me and will sustain our family.

Grig works really hard for us everyday, and I need to be more supportive and grateful to him as well. Sometimes when he gets home from work, it is hard not to say, "Take Kevin, I need a break." I need to remember that he needs to feel welcome, loved, and appreciated when he gets home.

It's nice to learn things I need to work on. It keeps things in perspective.

 

Mormon Monday: A Super Miracle

I have once again decided to attempt to manage my time better. So, Kevin and I went on a walk today.

As we were leaving, I opened the stroller and found Kevin's Superman toy that has been missing for a while. He was pretty excited to see it, and so I handed it too him. It was a gift from my parents, and it is one of Kevin's absolute favorite toys.

It essentially looks like this: link

I felt like maybe I shouldn't bring it, because he was likely to lose it, but I shrugged the feeling off and told myself that I'd notice if he dropped it.

We left poor Dakota home, because she's too sore to walk very far, and I wanted to run.

And run we did.

Every time I stopped, Kevin would say, "3..2..1..go!" If I didn't run immediately, he would say, "Mom, I said 3,2,1, go!" Until I ran again, he would continue protesting. It was fun, but I haven't really ran in a while, so I quickly became tired. Arkhon helped pull the stroller though, so I felt pretty good.

Needless to say, I quickly forgot about the toy that was in my son's hands. After a while, we took a break and I handed him an apple and drank some water.

We made a large circle of our neighborhood. We went about five blocks south, one block west, and then looped back toward home. On the way we stopped at a neighborhood park. Kevin played for a while and I stretched and ate my apple. Arkhon was pretty tired, but he'd gotten to swim in a canal for a bit, so he was pretty happy too.

After we played for a while, we walked a different way home, and (after stopping at a neighbor's for a  while to let Arkhon play with their dog) we went home.

About an hour later, I suddenly remembered the Superman toy.

With a sinking sensation, I realized that I hadn't seen it for a while, and Kevin had most definitely not brought it home.

I left Kevin with Argent and retraced my steps. I went all the way back to the canal, but I didn't want to leave them alone for too long, and so, I returned home without finding the toy.

I was pretty sad about it, and a bit angry at myself for bringing it with us.

When Grig came home from work, I told him the sad news.

Then, I took the car to go grocery shopping. On the way, I decided to retrace my steps with the car in the hopes that I might see the toy. It was a far-fetched hope, but I was praying, and I felt like I might be able to find the toy.

I drove five blocks south without any sign of the toy. Then I turned west. In the middle of the block, I spotted something lying in the middle of the sidewalk. With joy, I quickly pulled the car over, and ran to look.

It was Kevin's toy!

Three hours later, and I had found it in the middle of the sidewalk. It is a miracle that no one had moved it, and that it was somewhere that I could spot from the road.

I finished grocery shopping and returned the toy to Kevin's grateful arms. We then had a prayer and thanked our Heavenly Father for helping us to find the toy. (I had said a few already, but we decided to say another one).

There's a happy kid :)

If you think that Heavenly Father doesn't care about the little things in your life, and you shouldn't bother him with them, please think again and remember a story about a Superman toy. It probably wasn't that big of a deal if we lost it, but it meant a lot to Kevin, and I was praying pretty hard to find that toy. If it means something to you, it means something to Him.

I know I was guided to it, and that my Father in Heaven allowed us to find it again.

Miracles do happen today, and they happen everyday. Sometimes, we have to just be willing to pray and then do our part. If we do that, great things will happen and we will be able to see His hands in our lives.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mormon Monday: A Pair of Slippers

Yesterday was kind of a crazy day. I thought I woke up plenty early for church at 1:00 p.m. I didn't even have to prepare singing time, because it was ward conference.

That means that the stake primary presidency was going to be teaching. I was just going to be learning.

So, time passed while I fed Kevin and worked on family history videos.

Suddenly it was 12:30, and it was time to go. Grig had an early meeting, and so he'd already left.

I was all ready, except I hadn't put my shoes on yet. I was still wearing my slippers. However, Kevin wasn't dressed, so I made a mental note to slip on my shoes and then I got him ready.

By the time I finished packing everything and loading up the car, we were nearly late. We rushed into the car and ran into the church. As it was, we were a couple minutes late. We found Grig, and quickly sat down.

We've been singing with the choir lately, but we'd missed practice today for a few reasons, and so we were surprised to find out that we were singing during the meeting. However, we were willing and we'd been to nearly all the practices, so we got up with the choir, walked to the front, and sang.

Then, we walked back to our seats in the back and sat back down.

The meeting continued.

During the closing song, I suddenly thought, "My feet sure feel warm and comfortable." I looked down, and saw, to my horror, that I was still wearing my slippers!

Link to Source

The picture above looks pretty similar to my slippers. 

I was horrified and really embarrassed. I pointed out my feet to Grig, and he said, "Yeah, I noticed. I just figured you did it on purpose. I was glad you had comfortable shoes for once."

Granted, my Sunday shoes aren't the most comfortable things on the planet, but I never would have chosen to wear my slippers to church. 

I don't think I would have been nearly as embarrassed if I hadn't walked to the front wearing my overly large fuzzy slippers in front of everyone. I told him I had to run home and change. I didn't want to be leading the primary music in front of the stake primary presidency while wearing fuzzy black slippers. 

I was laughing by then, though I was still pretty embarrassed. 

Luckily, we only live five minutes away from the church, so I drove home quickly and changed my shoes. When I got back with the right shoes on and I told the other people in the primary about it, one of them told me that she had noticed, but she'd just thought, "Good for you." It reminded her of times that she had done the same. 

Of course, then they were very kind and shared their embarrassing clothing stories with me, and I felt better afterward. 

I was thinking about it though, and it probably isn't that big of a deal which shoes I wear to church. The most important thing is that I'm there. 

I was embarrassed a bit, because as much as I'd like to deny it, I do care what others think, but I would have been willing to just stay in those slippers if it hadn't been important to me to dress my very best for my Heavenly Father. 

When I go to church, I go to strengthen my testimony and take part in sacred ordinances. 

I try to wear my very best clothing because I feel that it shows my Heavenly Father how much I respect and care for his sacred ordinances. It can also be distracting for other people who are trying to feel the Spirit and draw closer to our Heavenly Father when someone is tromping around in big fuzzy slippers. 

I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to tell them what to wear to church. That is a personal decision, and regardless of what you wear, you are always welcome at our congregations. I'm just sharing my thoughts about why, I personally, try to wear nice clothing to church.

Mormon Monday: My Testimony of Thomas S. Monson

During my scripture study this morning, I was thinking about the truths that I know, and I felt impressed to share the story of how I came to know that President Thomas S. Monson is the Lord's prophet today.

In January of 2008, President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away. He had been the prophet for much of my youth, and he was a great hero to me. Even now, when I listen to talks that he gave, he makes me smile. I had never doubted that he was a prophet, and so his death came as a bit of a shock to me. It was difficult for me to accept President Monson as a prophet right away.

Logically, my mind told me that if I believed President Hinckley was a prophet, I should believe that President Monson was a prophet as well, but I didn't know for sure.

So, I decided to pray and ask my Heavenly Father. If there were indeed prophets on the earth today, only He could tell me for sure.

My answer didn't come right away. In fact, it seemed to take forever. At times, I became a bit discouraged. I wanted to know immediately, and it seemed that no matter how much I prayed or read my scriptures, I was in the dark.

However, I knew that the Lord would tell me one way or the other, so I kept praying.

Finally, in February 2008 (a mere month later, but it seemed like so much longer), I had the opportunity to attend a temple dedication for the Rexburg temple. It was President Monson's first dedication after he became the prophet, and I went to the dedication with this prayer in my heart.

I wanted to know the truth. I had read and fasted and prayed, and I was prepared.

My answer didn't come as I had expected. I thought that while President Monson was giving a talk, it would hit me, and I would know that he was a prophet.

It didn't happen that way. Instead, as I watched President Monson interact with children to place the last bit of cement in the temple before the dedication, my answer came. As I watched the love which he had for the children that he spoke to, I was hit with the overwhelming sense that this man was a prophet. The feeling was intense and undeniable. I KNEW that President Monson was the Lord's prophet on earth today.

Since then, I have frequently felt the spirit as this man has spoken and taught me, and I have come to love him as much as I loved President Hinckley.

One of the great things about our church, is that we can always ask questions and receive answers. There is no cap on personal revelation. If there is something that a prophet, apostle, bishop, or stake president has said that is bothering me, or that I have questions about, I am not expected to blindly follow.

Instead, we are encouraged to ask questions of the only source of all truth.

I have asked my Heavenly Father many questions. Some answers didn't come right away, and some answers told me that I didn't need to know that right now, but I know the Lord is listening and will always give me an answer, even if it's not an answer I want.

I testify that President Monson is a prophet. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ's church restored in all its truth to the earth today. I know these things because I have prayed and asked my Heavenly Father, and He has told me they were true.

I know it is possible for everyone to know these things for themselves. Moroni 10:4-5 says:

 4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

 5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

I know that when we ask with a sincere heart and real intent, that we will receive the answers that we are searching for.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mormon Monday: Prayer

This weekend, we went and visited my family in Idaho. The twins (two of my younger sisters) did a great job with their homecoming talks. It was both sad and happy to see how much they've grown individually.

Sad, because they've grown apart a bit, but happy because they're becoming individuals and starting to live their own lives. I can't really understand what it is like for them; I've never been a twin. However, I am praying that they both find individual happiness wherever life will take them. 

During church, my dad taught a lesson about prayer.

Sometimes I think that prayer is really misunderstood. We start a prayer like we're ordering a pizza. We tell our Heavenly Father what we want, and then hang up, expecting prompt delivery. 

However, prayer isn't like that. The LDS bible dictionary entry on prayer expresses it really well. 

As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

Often prayer is thought to be us convincing our Heavenly Father of what we want. It is meant to be the opposite. The Lord knows what's best for us, and he's not going to give us confirmation of something that won't be best for us.

The purpose of prayer is to bring our will in line with our Heavenly Father's. Whenever I have been able to do that, it have been able to receive an answer much more quickly and with a lot more confidence that I'm doing the right thing.

It is also important to ask the right questions. A while ago, Grig was looking for a job, and after six months, he hadn't found one. It was becoming very difficult for him, and however much we prayed about where he was supposed to work, we simply weren't getting an answer. However, when we asked the question of where he was supposed to go to school, the answer came very quickly and within three days he had a job and we were moving.

It is also important to do your part. You can't just pray and expect the Lord to take care of everything. We have to do our best, and then He will take care of the rest.

Prayer has changed my life. I've received so many answers that have brought me so much happiness. I know prayer works and that anyone can pray. If we are truly trying and seeking answers, the Lord will provide.

I know this is true. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mormon Monday: Loving Our Students

This last week, my husband and I had an interesting discussion about children.

For me, loving kids is as natural as breathing. They are a child, therefore I care about them, and want them to be happy.

During my student teaching, we were discussing a child who was struggling, and I said something like, "He's a good kid, he's just has a hard time sitting."

One of the other teachers, who's been in education forever, looked at me and said, "You think that every kid's a good kid."

As I thought about it, I realized that, Yes, I do think that every kid is a good kid. I think most adults are really good people too. It takes a lot for me to decide to avoid someone, and even then, I usually still like them, I just don't like being around them. Getting along with people can take some effort, but it is always doable.

A couple of weeks ago, I was released from my calling as the 2nd councilor in the primary. That was pretty difficult and I cried a bit. However, the last couple of weeks my husband and I have been substituting in primary (the children's classes at church), so I've still been able to be around the children.

After teaching, Grig and I were talking about having patience with different kinds of children while teaching. Grig is a great man, and we don't always see eye-to-eye, though we communicate really well. That makes our marriage interesting and I am often challenged to look at things in a different way. We have a lot in common, but like everyone else we had different backgrounds and we are different people.

I love it, it's great!

Grig has never been a teacher, and as we were talking I had the opportunity to teach him something that I learned in college while I was studying to be an elementary teacher.

Keep in mind that I went to Brigham Young University-Idaho for college. Some of the advice we received as perspective teachers is going to differ a bit from other people's college professors' advice.

One of the most important things that my teachers taught me was to pray for my students by name. I was promised that as I did this, I would grow to love my students and I would receive inspiration that would help me teach them on an individual basis in the way that would be best for each of them.

I have since come to learn that this is true. As I have worked in primary and I prayed for children that were struggling, I really grew to love each and every one of them.

Sometimes, I could still be frustrated by some children's antics, but I cared enough about them to seek Heavenly Father's counsel and try again.

When you work and come to love other people, it makes leaving them very difficult. I am super excited about our impending move, but I am also very sad to leave our friends, ward members, and neighbors that we have come to know and love.

We're not moving very far away, but I am not very good at keeping in contact with other people.

I will miss them, but they will stay in my prayers. I know that Heavenly Father will be watching out for each and every one of them.

If you're struggling with students or other children, pray for them by name, and I know you will come to love and care for them deeply. You may even learn what you can do to help them with whatever they may be struggling with.

I testify that this is true, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mormon Monday: Parables and Envy

Yesterday at church, the speaker quoted Elder Hollands talk titled: The Laborers in the Vineyard.

I want to relay a bit of that talk that was read in Sacrament.

I wish to speak of the Savior’s parable in which a householder “went out early in the morning to hire labourers.” After employing the first group at 6:00 in the morning, he returned at 9:00 a.m., at 12:00 noon, and at 3:00 in the afternoon, hiring more workers as the urgency of the harvest increased. The scripture says he came back a final time, “about the eleventh hour” (approximately 5:00 p.m.), and hired a concluding number. Then just an hour later, all the workers gathered to receive their day’s wage. Surprisingly, all received the same wage in spite of the different hours of labor. Immediately, those hired first were angry, saying, “These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.”¹When reading this parable, perhaps you, as well as those workers, have felt there was an injustice being done here. Let me speak briefly to that concern.

First of all it is important to note that no one has been treated unfairly here. The first workers agreed to the full wage of the day, and they received it. Furthermore, they were, I can only imagine, very grateful to get the work. In the time of the Savior, an average man and his family could not do much more than live on what they made that day. If you didn’t work or farm or fish or sell, you likely didn’t eat. With more prospective workers than jobs, these first men chosen were the most fortunate in the entire labor pool that morning.

Indeed, if there is any sympathy to be generated, it should at least initially be for the men not chosen who also had mouths to feed and backs to clothe. Luck never seemed to be with some of them. With each visit of the steward throughout the day, they always saw someone else chosen.

But just at day’s close, the householder returns a surprising fifth time with a remarkable eleventh-hour offer! These last and most discouraged of laborers, hearing only that they will be treated fairly, accept work without even knowing the wage, knowing thatanything will be better than nothing, which is what they have had so far. Then as they gather for their payment, they are stunned to receive the same as all the others! How awestruck they must have been and how very, very grateful! Surely never had such compassion been seen in all their working days.

It is with that reading of the story that I feel the grumbling of the first laborers must be seen. As the householder in the parable tells them (and I paraphrase only slightly): “My friends, I am not being unfair to you. You agreed on the wage for the day, a good wage. You were very happy to get the work, and I am very happy with the way you served. You are paid in full. Take your pay and enjoy the blessing. As for the others, surely I am free to do what I like with my own money.” Then this piercing question to anyone then or now who needs to hear it: “Why should you be jealous because I choose to be kind?” 

As the speaker read these words, I realized that he was talking to me.

Some of you are aware that we've been trying to have another baby for a while. It has been a bit trying for me. Adam was conceived very quickly, and so I've been worried that it's been taking so long to get pregnant with our second.

Don't get me wrong. I'm SO grateful for Kevin, and I can't imagine the pain of those who've been trying to have children and don't already have one. I have gained a lot of empathy for those who've had this struggle, and I've become more sensitive to things that I say around others as well.

Even though I am very grateful for Kevin, I still am baby hungry and I have prayed and fasted for another child. After we weaned Kevin, I thought for sure that we were going to get pregnant right away. That hasn't happened. Every month, I gain hope that we are pregnant, only to have my hopes dashed. It's been very difficult, and faith-challenging.

I know children are a righteous desire, and so it's been hard to understand why we haven't had our prayers answered yet. One of the most difficult things is that so many people around me seem to be having babies, and I can't help but be a bit jealous. However, I have really tried to be happy for their sake as well.

Just because others receive blessings, doesn't mean that we have been treated unfairly. I think that is a huge issue that plagues our world at the moment. We all think that we deserve every blessing. Really, we don't deserve anything. Everything we have is a blessing, and we should be grateful that our brothers and sisters are receiving blessings as well.

There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon (Mosiah 2: 20-22) that says:

 20 I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—

 21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

 22 And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

Essentially, the very fact that we are alive is a blessing from the Lord. Then, when we keep His commandments, He blesses us immediately. We can never put God in debt to us. So, why does he do so much for us?

It is because He loves us.

And if He loves us, should we not love one another and be happy when someone else is blessed?

Some of my favorite people to be around are people that rejoice when I rejoice. How much fun is it to talk to someone and tell them good news only to have them try and outshine your accomplishment or belittle it? It is a lot more fun to tell people about your accomplishments when they are happy with you and make you feel good about what you have done.

I want to be that kind of person. I want to be happy for them when they have good news without having any internal reservations or jealousy.

Mormon Monday: His Hand is Stretched Out Still

Lately, when I've been trying to put Kevin down for a nap, I've had an interesting challenge.

Kevin sometimes will get really, really angry about nap time. When he gets in this mood, he doesn't want to be touched, and he will just stand there and scream and cry.

Interestingly enough, I've found the best way to deal with it, is to lay in his bed with  my arms outstretched toward him. If I try to grab him, it just makes him angrier. However, if I lay there with my arms out, eventually he'll come to me. Once he decides to, he calms right down and goes to sleep.

He's grown so large and independent since then.

This process can take a while sometimes. So, I have a lot of time to think while I'm waiting for him to get over his anger and decide to go to sleep.

As I've laid there with my arms out, a scriptural verse has come to mind. It is found quite frequently in Isaiah, and it reads:

For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.

This same phrase is found five times in the Old Testament, and five times in the Book of Mormon when one of the prophets is quoting Isaiah.

The context of the statement is that the chosen people of the Lord are refusing to repent, and so all sorts of terrible things are happening to them as a result. Then, at the end of the verse, the above statement is used.

As Kevin is screaming and angry with me, it is hard to be patient. It is hard to have someone I love so much in obvious distress. However, if I try to force him to take a nap, he just resists more. I know the nap is what he needs and it will make him happy, but I have to wait until he decides he wants it, or my efforts only push him into a further state of anger.

As I've contemplated this, I've realized that this is the way we are to Heavenly Father too.

He wants what's best for us, but He won't force us. He stands there with his arms outstretched toward us, but we have to take the step toward him. Until we decide that we want to follow Christ, we are just going to keep hurting ourselves and causing ourselves spiritual, physical, and emotional pain.

Kevin would be much happier, if he would just take a nap when he is tired, but he is stubborn, and wants to do things his own way. However, when he finally gives in and comes to me, he is relaxed, happy, and comfortable. He obviously likes being held and comforted, but when he is angry, he just wants to be independent.

I am realizing that I am often like that too.

I think I know what I want, and I want to do it the way that I want to do it. However, as I'm learning to walk toward my Savior, I'm finding that doing things His way, is a lot easier and makes me a lot happier. I don't have to waste time screaming and throwing a tantrum. I just have to keep moving toward Him.

Though we may be facing trials, either of our own making or just trials of this life, His hands are stretched out still. He is always waiting for us to come toward him. It's not always easy to take the first step, but when we're finally resting in His embrace, it will be totally worth it.

We just have to throw off our pride and move forward.