Three Blessings

Yesterday might have been a really difficult day for me.

I once again found out that I wasn't pregnant, and the familiar pain began to descend upon me. However, I've been trying harder to accept God's will, and I had asked him that if I wasn't pregnant, that he would send me peace. He sent me more than that.

Some of my favorite pictures I've taken of Siff

The first blessing that we received is our new puppy on Saturday. It is so nice to have a baby around. Siff still sleeps most of the day, and is super cuddly when she's tired. She so adorable and soft. She's a lot of fun to play with. Everyone loves her and she's doing really well with potty training.

She's so cute!

Look at that widdle face!

The second blessing took a huge worry off my shoulders.

We've been planning a trip to visit Grig's parents, and our previous plans for who was going to watch our dogs fell through (through no fault of their own). I had been thinking and praying a lot about what we should do while we are gone. I had felt that things were going to work out, but I just didn't know how. Then, yesterday, my sister called and offered to take them. She lives in Idaho, so normally that wouldn't work out, except that my parents happen to be coming to visit the day before we leave. My mom agreed to take the dogs home with her so my sister could watch them.

It's nice to know they'll be in good hands. 

Best friends

This is a nice shot of Arkhon

That was a such a miracle for me, and I'm really grateful to my family for how wonderful they are.

The third blessing was a friend who called to ask me to watch her kids. It was nice to have so many things to take my mind off of my disappointment.

Between babysitting, Siff, Kevin, and Arkhon, I had plenty to keep me busy. It turned out to be a pretty nice, if not very productive, day.

Kevin LOVES to pick up his puppy. 

Arkhon was feeling neglected because he had to share attention. So he came and planted his head on top of mine. It was pretty funny.

I'm grateful that I received such great blessings yesterday. Heavenly Father is very kind to me and my family. I'm grateful for our new pup, and such wonderful friends and family.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Sometimes facebook is a wonderful thing. I went onto it, and it reminded me that today is my anniversary. Whoops.

Not that I didn't remember, I just hadn't thought about it yet this morning.

So, I was able to wish Grig a happy anniversary before he went to work. Facebook also showed me a video montage they had made celebrating our anniversary. The only problem is...it was kind of lame. All the pictures it showed were from this year.

It really should have looked something more like this:

4 Years

June 25, 2011:

I had work at 2:00, and then I worked until 8. However, at work, a kid who is the roommate of my co-worker’s fiancé came in and asked me on a date.  I had met him a couple times before, and my coworker told me that he had been wanting to ask me out since he met me.  He asked me what I was doing that night, and I told him working.  He asked me if I wanted to come over to his house afterward and do something.  I told him that would be fine.  He asked if 9:00 was okay, but then I remembered I was practicing the song I was singing with another guy on Sunday then, and so I asked him if 9:30 was okay.  He said that was fine.

He left and I was all nervous.  Work finished pretty quickly, and then I went home.  My roommate helped me get ready, then I went to my singing practice.  It was a good practice, and then I went to Crestwood for my date with Grig.  

I got there and texted him to tell him that I was there.  He came out and brought me over to the table that he had brought outside under the trees and next to the pond.  He had made stir-fry, and he served it to me. He was really sweet about it.  Then we ate and talked for the next two hours.  He is a really nice guy.  We have a lot of the same interests.  We talked about sheep and missions and such.  He said he is from Virginia.  We talked about the coolest moments of our missions, and then we talked about animals. As curfew neared, and thanked him for the evening, and gave him a (super awkward) hug.  He then walked me over to my car.  As we neared it, he asked me what I was doing the next weekend.  I told him working, but then I remembered my work schedule was in my pocket, so I was able to tell him the time.  So, next weekend we are going on another date at 7:00 on Saturday.  

I’m excited for it.  After I left I was left with the impression that he was a good guy, but now I wanted to see how he interacted with others and I wanted to do things with him.  So we are going to a Greek play and we are going to play games afterward. 

July 10, 2011:

Tonight I held hands with a boy for the first time ever!  We’ve been dating for two weeks.  I guess that’s not so long.  It was Grig.  I really kind of like him.

August 2011:

Grig is back in Virginia for the break, but we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I even kissed him on the cheek before he left! We skype every morning at 7:00 a.m.

September 4, 2011:

Grig came back tonight. I was nervous to see him, but it was really good. We talked about the stupidest things, but we both had similar views on them, and I decided I really like him after he left. It has been good to see him. 

A picture taken at our Halloween date

October 5, 2011:

I had kind of told Grig that I loved him via text message before work yesterday, and then hadn’t been able to see what his response was because I locked my phone in the store where I worked.  I knew however, that it would confuse him a bit.  Which it did.  I wasn’t able to respond to him most of the next day either, because I drove to Utah right after I picked my phone up from the store and was busy most of the day. When I finally got to talk to him, he said he wasn’t sure if he loved me yet, which is okay, because I also decided that in order for our relationship to progress, I needed to see him more than twice a week.

I think I’m almost ready to kiss him.

October 26, 2011:

So....today, we were out walking, and we came in because it was cold.  We were sitting at the kitchen table, and we began talking.  It went like this:

Emma: “So, we are both going to be graduated in two semesters.  After that I am going to be student teaching.”

Grig: “Yeah, beyond that I haven’t thought of things.  Besides, you know, general things.”

Emma: “Yeah, I think I’ve though about those same kind of general things too.”

Grig: “Yeah, I’ve been thinking of talking about those things with you, but I’ve been afraid I was going to scare you off.”

Emma: “I think it’s almost impossible to scare me off at this point.”

Grig: “Really?!”

Emma: “Yeah.  In fact, I was thinking that we should go check out our ring sizes at some point.”

Grig: “Do you want to go on Friday before the concert?”  

And that was that.  We planned it out, and then we went on Friday to go ring shopping.  I wasn’t feeling well at all (stomach flu), but I wanted to go anyway.  So, we went to a jeweler and got our ring sizes.  I was a 6, and Grig was a 9-9.5.  We didn’t really like anything that we saw however, so we left.  However, we started talking about other things, like receptions colors.  Then he said, “How does about February sound?”

It sounded pretty good.

October 30, 2011

Grig and I began to look at rings online.  We also started talking about honeymoon ideas.  I really love that guy.  As he was going to leave, I kind of went to kiss him, but he was so used to me ducking his kisses on the lips that he avoided my kiss.  Then, as I hugged him around the neck and buried my face in his chest with embarrassment, he said, “Oh, really!?!?!?”

I said in a muffled voice, “I meant to, but it’s scary.”

He said, “Do you want to try again?”  

He sounded kind of hopeful, and I wanted to so I said, “Maybe?”

We went outside, and I asked if anyone was around, and he said no.  So, I said, “Okay,” and then, we kissed.  

It was weird, but not as weird as I thought is was going to be.  It wasn’t earth-shattering, but as our lips brushed, it was...nice.  He kissed my face again afterward, and I said, “One’s probably enough for tonight, because it’s new.” I’m so logical sometimes, it’s ridiculous.  Our relationship works for us though, and it makes me happy.

He grinned and said, “That’s fine with me.”  Then we wished each other good night and told each other that we loved each other.  For the next 15 minutes, my lips tingled. 

October 31, 2011:

So, tonight, we went on a walk. 

Grig took off at a pretty fast pace, and I knew he was up to something, and I told him that, but I also told him that I had decided not to worry about it.  He said that made him glad.  We walked around in a big circle from my apartment and came back around to Porter Park.  As we stepped into the park and headed toward the other end, Grig said, “So, I finally finished a poem for you.”

I said, “Good!” thinking that this is what the surprise was all about.

He continued, “However, it is a tree poem, so it can only be read up in a tree.”

 

I nodded, “Okay.”  So, maybe that is weird, but since we do weird stuff all the time, it wasn’t that weird.  We like to climb trees together, okay?

Anyway, so we climbed to the top of the tree, and Grig read me his poem.

After he finished, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little black box.  As he opened it and I saw a ring, I think my mind shut down a little bit, and I went into shock mode; which for me, means no emotion.  

“Oh, a ring,” I said, taking it out of the box and putting it on my finger.  After a couple seconds, Grig asked, “Does that mean yes?”

For a reply, I decided it was appropriate to kiss him.  (We’d had our first kiss the night before.)  As I pulled away, I became conscious of people running toward us cheering.  I was surprised to see his roommates, but since I was still in shock mode, I simply said, “Look, people.”  We climbed down from the tree, and I realized all my roommates were there too.  Everything fell into place.  Little sneaks.  They were carrying a bundle of flowers, and they handed them to me.  The ring that I was wearing wasn’t the ring that we’d picked out the night before, it was Grig’s grandma’s ring, and, surprisingly, it fit really well.  We talked to everyone for a moment, I talked to mom and dad on the phone quick, and then we got into Grig’s station wagon and drove back to my apartment, where I proceeded to call everyone I knew (at some coaching from my roommates.)  Finally, the shock wore off and I began to get giddy.

I'm getting married in February!

February 18, 2012:

Today, we were sealed for time and all eternity. The temple was amazing.  We were sealed by a man who was originally from Argentina.  He spoke five different languages, and he was really funny.  I’ve never been to a sealing where people laughed so hard.  

Probably the best moment was when he had finished the ceremony, and he said, “You may now kiss yourself.” (Due to the language barrier.)  Grig said, “I’ll kiss you,” to me, and kept it from being super awkward.  We kissed and were married.  It was kind of weird because I don’t know what I expected, but I didn’t feel any different.  I expected to feel heavier or something, but I still felt the same.  

February 25-March 11:

Our honeymoon lasted two weeks. The first week we went on a cruise to the Caribbean, and the second week we stayed in Viginia with Grig's parents. Here is one of the best moments:

Thursday, we stopped at Grand Cayman, one of the Cayman Islands.  We had an excursion called “Turtles, turtles, and more turtles.”  We had a long line to get out to the boats that would take us to the mainland, but we were entertained by one little boy who kept asking if we were going to go see “more and more turtles?  No fish?”  It was really cute.  We were led out to our little boats, and were taken to shore, where we then found our excursion group and they loaded us onto busses and took us out to the Sea Turtle Farm.  It was really neat.  We were taken on a tour of the facilities, where we were able to hold little baby turtles.  We found out if you stroke their throats, they calm right down, but if you don’t they flap their flippers and try to fly away.  They were really cute.  We went by a breeding tank and saw many different ages of turtles.  In the 18-month pen, we were allowed to catch them and pick them up.  I did so, but the turtle I caught was really pretty big.  He was at least 35-40 pounds.  I had him on the side and was stroking his throat, and he calmed down for a bit.  He kind of eyed me for a moment, and then suddenly, he struck.  With a slapping sound, his front fin hit me square in the eye.  I was blinded for a moment.  He hit me really hard.  I petted him for a few more seconds, and then I let him loose.  My eye hurt for the rest of the day.  It turned out that he had cracked my contact lens all the way through.  When we got back to the boat, I wore my glasses for nearly the remainder of the trip.  However, while we were still there, I put on the sunglasses because my eye was a big photo sensitive, and then we went snorkeling with fish and small sea turtles, which we had fun catching until we were told we weren’t supposed to do that. 

After we finished, we decided to try turtle soup (Ha ha, revenge).

March 25, 2012:

I took a pregnancy test today. A second line did show up, though faintly. We're going to take it again in a week to be sure.

Apirl 15, 2012:

I'm officially pregnant. We also got a pet snake.  He is a blizzard morph Corn Snake, and right now he’s just a baby.  We got him on April 2, and he’s now eaten two pinkies (which are baby mice.)  He’s definitely growing and maturing.  He has become better at gripping our fingers while he is exploring.  He was about a foot long when he arrived and only about an inch in diameter.  It’s a good thing that the baby mice we ordered are small too, or they would be too big for him to eat.  He’s pink right now, but when he is full grown, he will be pure white.  He will only grow to be 3-5 feet long.  He hasn’t shed his skin yet, but he is pretty comfortable with people and relaxes quickly.  

This was his first feeding. He was so little!

Toward the end of November 2012:

Kevin joined our family and our lives have been that much better ever since! We ended up with an C-section after hours and hours of labor. For that full story, go here. He was born at 8 lbs 11 oz. He was a big baby!

July 17, 2013:

For the last few months, Grig has been trying to find a full time job. Finally, we realized we'd been asking the wrong question. We had been asking, "Where should Grig work?" We were supposed to be asking, "Where should Grig go to school?" Almost immediately, we got an answer. We applied for a job there on Wednesday and they told him to come in for an interview. We drove that night to the city and stayed with my grandparents.  

The next morning, Grig applied at ICON.  Kevin and I waited out on the grass, and I kept thinking, “Well, the longer it takes, the more likely he’ll get the job.”  After about an hour and a half, I heard the sound of running, and Grig jogged up to us.  He was very excited and he said, “They asked me to come back for a safety meeting at 1:00!  I think I got the job!”  He tried to pick me up and spin me, but Kevin was in my hand in a car seat, so it didn’t work so well.  I was cautiously optimistic, not wanting to be too disappointed if it turned out to be another false hope, but I was excited for him too.  

We went home and ate, and then I drove him back. Then, Kevin and I went home and looked at apartments. We found a three bedroom apartment, pretty close to his work, for a really good price. I went and talked to the manager while Grig finished his interview. The manager said they might have an apartment available immediately. I told her I'd talk to my husband and get back to her.

Soon after (while I was reading scriptures), Grig called. He got the job! He starts work on Tuesday. We then went back, got the apartment and came back home to pack and get ready to move! Life is progressing!

We are now in our new apartment and it's awesome!

(After this point, I pretty much blogged about everything, but I will put in the highlights from the last few years.)

October 18, 2013:

Dakota (my dog from home) came to live with us! She is going to be an indoor dog now. Kevin loves having her here, and I think she likes it too!

September 19, 2014:

We got a new puppy today! We've named him Arkhon.

December 6, 2014:

After my aunt and uncle mentioned that we would probably qualify for a USDA loan, we started looking at homes. We've been trying to get pregnant for the last year and a half, but as we looked at homes, we started feeling really good about buying a home. We've been looking at lots of different houses, but we haven't found the right one yet.

December 22, 2014:

The very last home that we looked at that was in our price range was the right home. We're going to make an offer on it.

February 8, 2015:

We moved into our new house! It's so wonderful to have a backyard, and the dogs look a lot smaller here than they did in our old apartment.

July 2015:

Grig found out that his job is closing down the entire department and letting 400 employees go. He's going to be one of them. His last day of work is October 31st. We're going to have to start applying for new jobs. 

October 9, 2015:

We put Dakota down today. She got an abscess on her ribs and she's stopped eating or drinking. She can no longer get up on her own. I received a strong impression that she's happy now. That makes it okay.

November 9, 2015:

Grig started at his new job today! I think he's really going to like it here. It seems to have a much better environment, and is more employee friendly.

February 18, 2016:

We've now been married for four years. I love being a wife and a mother. It's been really fun to look through these old journal entries and share some of them with you. 

I couldn't ask for a better husband. He has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with this wonderful man. Happy anniversary, Grig!

I chose this picture, because you can also see the current size of our snake.
He's pretty much as old as our marriage. :)

Mormon Monday: Parables and Envy

Yesterday at church, the speaker quoted Elder Hollands talk titled: The Laborers in the Vineyard.

I want to relay a bit of that talk that was read in Sacrament.

I wish to speak of the Savior’s parable in which a householder “went out early in the morning to hire labourers.” After employing the first group at 6:00 in the morning, he returned at 9:00 a.m., at 12:00 noon, and at 3:00 in the afternoon, hiring more workers as the urgency of the harvest increased. The scripture says he came back a final time, “about the eleventh hour” (approximately 5:00 p.m.), and hired a concluding number. Then just an hour later, all the workers gathered to receive their day’s wage. Surprisingly, all received the same wage in spite of the different hours of labor. Immediately, those hired first were angry, saying, “These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.”¹When reading this parable, perhaps you, as well as those workers, have felt there was an injustice being done here. Let me speak briefly to that concern.

First of all it is important to note that no one has been treated unfairly here. The first workers agreed to the full wage of the day, and they received it. Furthermore, they were, I can only imagine, very grateful to get the work. In the time of the Savior, an average man and his family could not do much more than live on what they made that day. If you didn’t work or farm or fish or sell, you likely didn’t eat. With more prospective workers than jobs, these first men chosen were the most fortunate in the entire labor pool that morning.

Indeed, if there is any sympathy to be generated, it should at least initially be for the men not chosen who also had mouths to feed and backs to clothe. Luck never seemed to be with some of them. With each visit of the steward throughout the day, they always saw someone else chosen.

But just at day’s close, the householder returns a surprising fifth time with a remarkable eleventh-hour offer! These last and most discouraged of laborers, hearing only that they will be treated fairly, accept work without even knowing the wage, knowing thatanything will be better than nothing, which is what they have had so far. Then as they gather for their payment, they are stunned to receive the same as all the others! How awestruck they must have been and how very, very grateful! Surely never had such compassion been seen in all their working days.

It is with that reading of the story that I feel the grumbling of the first laborers must be seen. As the householder in the parable tells them (and I paraphrase only slightly): “My friends, I am not being unfair to you. You agreed on the wage for the day, a good wage. You were very happy to get the work, and I am very happy with the way you served. You are paid in full. Take your pay and enjoy the blessing. As for the others, surely I am free to do what I like with my own money.” Then this piercing question to anyone then or now who needs to hear it: “Why should you be jealous because I choose to be kind?” 

As the speaker read these words, I realized that he was talking to me.

Some of you are aware that we've been trying to have another baby for a while. It has been a bit trying for me. Adam was conceived very quickly, and so I've been worried that it's been taking so long to get pregnant with our second.

Don't get me wrong. I'm SO grateful for Kevin, and I can't imagine the pain of those who've been trying to have children and don't already have one. I have gained a lot of empathy for those who've had this struggle, and I've become more sensitive to things that I say around others as well.

Even though I am very grateful for Kevin, I still am baby hungry and I have prayed and fasted for another child. After we weaned Kevin, I thought for sure that we were going to get pregnant right away. That hasn't happened. Every month, I gain hope that we are pregnant, only to have my hopes dashed. It's been very difficult, and faith-challenging.

I know children are a righteous desire, and so it's been hard to understand why we haven't had our prayers answered yet. One of the most difficult things is that so many people around me seem to be having babies, and I can't help but be a bit jealous. However, I have really tried to be happy for their sake as well.

Just because others receive blessings, doesn't mean that we have been treated unfairly. I think that is a huge issue that plagues our world at the moment. We all think that we deserve every blessing. Really, we don't deserve anything. Everything we have is a blessing, and we should be grateful that our brothers and sisters are receiving blessings as well.

There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon (Mosiah 2: 20-22) that says:

 20 I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—

 21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

 22 And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

Essentially, the very fact that we are alive is a blessing from the Lord. Then, when we keep His commandments, He blesses us immediately. We can never put God in debt to us. So, why does he do so much for us?

It is because He loves us.

And if He loves us, should we not love one another and be happy when someone else is blessed?

Some of my favorite people to be around are people that rejoice when I rejoice. How much fun is it to talk to someone and tell them good news only to have them try and outshine your accomplishment or belittle it? It is a lot more fun to tell people about your accomplishments when they are happy with you and make you feel good about what you have done.

I want to be that kind of person. I want to be happy for them when they have good news without having any internal reservations or jealousy.