Mom: Master Manipulator

I hate to say this, but honestly, I feel like I spend half of my time manipulating Kevin. 

Not in a bad way! I don't ever use my powers of manipulation for evil.

For example, yesterday, Kevin didn't want to go to the potty, but I knew he really needed to go. (Sometimes he still struggles when he needs to poop, but doesn't want to. He doesn't have bad accidents, but lately, he's been urinating in his underwear, just a bit.) So, Mom, the Master Manipulator came to save the day.

I picked up his current favorite toys, and they began to have a conversation that went like this:

Ankylosaurus: I don't think Kevin CAN use the bathroom. 

T-Rex: Yes, he can, Ankylosaurus. He's a big boy! 

Ankylosaurus: No, I don't think he can. 

Kevin: I don't want to. 

Ankylosaurus: That's because you're a baby. Babies don't want to go to the bathroom. 

T-Rex: Kevin's not a baby! He's a big boy. Show him that you can go to the potty, Kevin!

The conversation ended with Kevin getting a determined look on his face and running to the bathroom. Afterward, Ankylosaurus apologized for not thinking he could do it, and both dinosaurs gave Kevin a high-five for going to the potty. Kevin also told me proudly that he did it, and I gave him a high-five too!

Sometimes I feel kind of bad about doing that sort of thing. However, it ends up with everyone happy, so I think it's a good thing. Mostly, I'm trying to help him make his own good choices without forcing him to do it.

He looked so proud of himself afterward too.

We've used different forms of manipulation over his life time. Sometimes we use reverse psychology, sometimes we appeal to his competitive side, and sometimes I use his pride. Occasionally, we just force the issue. I just don't like to do that, unless it's really important and I want him to listen to me.

Kevin, in general, is a fantastic kid though. He's usually very helpful and willing to do what I ask. Yesterday, he really wanted to help me sweep and mop the floor, so he held the dustpan for me and mopped the floor after I had finished mopping. Aside from him putting the bleach-soaked mop on the carpet, he did a great job!

What are you thoughts about being manipulators of children? Is it something I should do less often? Is it a good thing sometimes? I really am curious. Please share.

Kevin Update

I realized that I haven't given an update on Kevin recently.

He is now three years old. He speaks quite fluently, and sometimes amazes me with his vocabulary.

He is a baby bear that he calls "Baby." Baby is a very helpful bear. When Kevin doesn't want to go to sleep at night, we pretend to be Baby.

Baby will say, "Daddy, Daddy!"

Kevin will respond, "Yes, Baby?"

The bear (through us) will then say, "I'm tired Daddy. Please come put me to bed."

No matter how angry Kevin was or how much he didn't want to go to bed, he just can't say no to his little bear. Sometimes, he'll pause for a minute, and then he'll say, "Okay, Baby."

He'll climb into his bed and snuggle with his little bear. It's adorable.

Baby, the manipulator. :)

I just love this picture (though it is a little grainy because it was taken from a video)

The other day, Grig told him that Baby had originally been his. Grig had called it Frances, after the little Frances the badger books. When Grig told Kevin that, Kevin became concerned.

"Baby is yours?"

Quickly, Grig said, "He used to be mine, but I gave him to you."

Kevin thought about that for a moment, and then said, "Daddy, I love you."

He is the sweetest kid.

Yesterday, while we were cleaning out Oryx's (our snake's) cage, Grig and Kevin were talking, Grig was telling Kevin how snakes eat mice. Kevin then said, "WE eat mice!"

"No," Grig told him. "Snakes eat mice. Are you a snake?"

"No," Kevin said, "I'm a goose!"

He is a goose. Who knew?

The last couple of days, Kevin, Arkhon, and I have started walking again. The weather's warmed up quite a bit, and we've been enjoying ourselves. As we were walking yesterday, we ran into a pasture with a couple of horses in it. They came right up to the fence and let us feed them some of the new grass that was growing on our side.

At first, Kevin was a little nervous, but he soon wanted to try. As we came closer, Kevin said, "Horses are big!" Compared to our dog, they were huge. The larger, dark brown horse took the grass from his fingers, and Kevin became very excited. "He licked my fingers!" he exclaimed.

Arkhon wanted to come see the horses to. I carefully brought him up to the fence, and the horse was pretty cool about it. I think Arkhon was thinking the same thing Kevin was though. As the horse and our dog nearly touched noses to sniff each other, Arkhon lost his nerve and backed off a little. He didn't run away, but he wasn't sure he wanted his head so close to the huge creature's mouth. Later, as Arkhon was looking toward some distant, barking dogs, the horse tried to smell his back. The horse nearly touched him before Arkhon realized what it was doing, and then he moved away again.

Really, it went pretty well. Arkhon didn't bark at them, he was just a little nervous. The horses weren't scared of him, just curious. We're going to go by again. It's good for Arkhon to be around lots of different situations.

Kevin runs pretty fast. He still loves wearing his Superman clothes, but he will occasionally wear different things. Yesterday, his Superman shirt got wet (which he can't stand), and so he went to his room and put on a dinosaur shirt his grandma had recently given him. He was so proud when he came out to show me what he was  wearing, and that he had put it on himself. I guess I reacted well, because a few minutes later, he came out wearing shorts he had put on too.

We just love him.

Some days, he's grumpy, and if he doesn't get what he wants, he will throw fits. Usually, he'll run into his room and calm down, and then come back out.

He plays pretty well with other kids, and he loves it when friends come over. They occasionally fight over sharing, but that's pretty normal.

I've recently made him a job chart using Superman and animals. There are no words, only pictures, but he knows what each picture stands for. He can tell me which job is next, and he LOVES it. Once he completes a job, he gets to put a sticker on his chart. Sometimes I think he wishes there were more jobs.

The other day, he told me, "Superman always helps Mommy," as he helped me pick up toys in the living room.

Yesterday, when he didn't want to help me do something, I reminded him of what he'd said. Immediately, he stopped dallying around and helped me.

He loves having his uncles here, and loves it when they play with him. His Uncle Allopex is teaching him sword fighting, and his Uncle Havelock plays (gentle) punching games with him. Both of them help use up some of his awesome energy. He is always excited when they come home, and loves it when they have days off to spend with him.

He is completely potty-trained and hasn't had an accident in months. We no longer have to buy diapers, which is weird.

Kevin wants a little sibling, and he often prays for one. He is a great example to me of faith and acceptance though. He loves every moment of life, and he helps me be a much better person.

We are so grateful for our son. Our lives would be so empty without him.

He makes the best facial expressions too.

Potty Training

So, I know I mentioned this on yesterday's blog, but I am so stoked about it, that I had to talk about it some more.

A few months ago, I started feeling like Kevin was "almost ready." He was starting to go into the other room when he needed to poop, and he would tell me when he was wet.

We tried him in underpants for a night and a morning, and he was dry all night, used the potty in the morning, and was dry until about noon. Then, after noon, he had three accidents in a row.

After the third accident, I decided he wasn't quite ready. I told myself that I would wait until he could tell me that he needed to go to the potty.

Three days ago, he decided it was time.

Since then, he has only had one accident. He is not wearing diapers during the day anymore, and he's been doing really well. He even told me that he had to use the potty at church. I was super impressed!

Hopefully this isn't TMI for anyone, but I am really proud that essentially he is potty-training himself. It has been his idea, and he's been doing a great job.

It will be super nice to not have to buy diapers for a while. Our son is awesome and we love him. We are discovering that Kevin is the kind of kid who fights if you tell him to do something, but if it's his idea, and you encourage him, then nothing can stop him. We've tried to make a big deal out of it when he does something right, but we're really trying not to push him or make his experiences negative. We just praise and reward him when he does good things, and correct him immediately if he does bad things, and then afterward show him an increase in love. So far, it seems to be working just fine, but we're new at this and we're still figuring things out.

Arkhon was potty-trained before he was a year old, but he is a dog, after all. 

It's taken until he's almost three for him to be potty-trained, but that's just fine. Hopefully the next child learns sooner, but with Kevin as an example, there's no reason why he/she shouldn't.

We hope.

MM: Hushing our Fears

We are officially down to the last week.

Grig's job ends on Saturday. If we don't find a new job before then, we are unemployed.

Though we have had many reassurances throughout these last few month, we are still becoming somewhat stressed. It's not so easy to have peace and faith when a deadline is looming on the horizon.

That's not to say that we're doubting the Lord, or the feelings that we've had. Instead, we just aren't sure about His timing. His timing is often not the same as our timing.

When Grig ends this Saturday, he will get 2 weeks worth of severance pay for sticking it out to the end. He will also receive his unused vacation time in a monetary form. Add all that to the fact that this is a three pay-period month, and we have a bit of extra money to live off of.

Personally, I've been hoping and praying that having this extra money will mean that we can have a baby soon, but the fear inside my heart is saying that it just means we'll use it all up while Grig is looking for a job.

While speaking about this to my mother today, she reminded me of a talk from a General Conference a few months ago. It was given by Elder Bednar, and it was titled "Therefore They Hushed Their Fears."

In his talk, he says:

An example from the Book of Mormon highlights the power of the knowledge of the Lord (see 2 Peter 1:2–8;Alma 23:5–6) to dispel fear and provide peace even as we confront great adversity.

In the land of Helam, Alma’s people were frightened by an advancing Lamanite army.

“But Alma went forth and stood among them, and exhorted them that they should not be frightened, but … should remember the Lord their God and he would deliver them.

“Therefore they hushed their fears” (Mosiah 23:27–28).

Notice Alma did not hush the people’s fears. Rather, Alma counseled the believers to remember the Lord and the deliverance only He could bestow (see 2 Nephi 2:8). And knowledge of the Savior’s protecting watchcare enabled the people to hush their own fears...

...But can we hush the fears that so easily and frequently beset us in our contemporary world? The answer to this question is an unequivocal yes. Three basic principles are central to receiving this blessing in our lives: (1) look to Christ, (2) build upon the foundation of Christ, and (3) press forward with faith in Christ. 

 I really appreciated this reminder from my mother. These last few months have been a series of trials. However, they have also been a series of miracles. Each trial has in some way also been a blessing. We have learned so much and grown quite a bit.

One of the biggest miracles that we received today was when Grig's job has offered employees to work in the line next week. Grig volunteered. If you work even one day in a month, the insurance covers you for that entire month. That will mean that we have insurance in November as well. Hopefully by the end of November, we will have found a job.

Despite these miracles, I am still struggling with my faith. It is hard to wait for promised blessings. As I look forward to Christmas and realize that we may not be able to afford much this year, I feel strange. Though my parents made little and were never rich, we never wanted for anything. I've never had to worry about not receiving Christmas presents.

Honestly, I don't know that I have to worry about it this year either. We've already had kind friends and family step in and tell us that they will buy Christmas for us if we can't.

As I am writing this blog and trying to talk about my fears and stress, I keep having all of the wonderful blessings that we have received come into my mind and push away the worry. Perhaps writing this blog was what I needed after all.

Link

One of the biggest blessings that I personally have received this week is that Kevin has been potty-training himself. Last weekend, he woke up and randomly said, "I need to go potty." He has had very few accidents since. He has yet to poop in the potty, but he hasn't had any kind of accident in two days. That's been really exciting for me, and for some reason, I am just bursting with pride with how he's doing.

I feel like I'm one of those random mothers who wants to yell, "My son's using the potty!" in the middle of the grocery store because I am so proud of him. I never thought I'd want to do something like that.

I haven't yet, but I want to.

So, despite the fact that we're a bit stressed and worried, we are trying to turn to the Savior and allow Him to hush our fears. We have had quite a bit of peace, and when I focus on that, I can feel the stress dissolve. That doesn't mean that it is gone, but it certainly helps.

We know the Lord told us to buy this home for a reason. We also know that He will provide as we do what He asks us to do. We have been trying to be obedient and charitable. I know that Grig will find a job, and it will be the job that the Lord wants him to have.

Things will work out.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Painting the Bathroom and Other Adventures

I was going to title this blog "Bathroom Adventures," but then I thought that might come off a little weird.

These two are sure happy to be together again.

Arkhon loves new toys! (Unfortunately, this one only lasted two days).

 Last weekend, we went by the store and bought some paint. Since working in the apartments, I have had a number of projects that I have wanted to accomplish around the house. The biggest two were painting the pink room of death, and the upstairs bathroom.

I finished painting the bathroom on Monday. Here are the before pictures:

This is what is looked like before. It was very yellow. I didn't really like that color, so we decided to paint it white with turquoise around the door frame. Here is the final result:

I personally think it looks a ton better. For some reason, my brothers-in-law enjoyed the yellow color, and they were slightly disappointed by the change. I told them they could paint their home that color.

I think it looks much better. It took me most of the morning. Kevin was pretty good while I was painting. At first, he was doing pretty good at helping me paint. Then, he started wanting to stick his hands on the freshly painted wall, so he had a bath. After a rather long bath, he finally told me he was done, which I don't think has ever happened before. I'm usually the one who tells him that he's done. He even let all the water out himself.

Then, he went out and watched "Wheels on the Bus," and other nursery rhymes while I finished. About the time I was cleaning up, he finally decided he had been patient enough. He wanted attention, right now!

The other big thing that almost happened this week, is we started potty training!

Without too many details, he made it all of one night and most of the morning in new superman big-boy underpants. Then, after two accidents in the afternoon, I decided he wasn't quite ready yet. He still doesn't tell me when he needs to go. I think we'll give it a few more weeks.

With all of that going on, it's been kind of crazy around here.