Kind of the Last Foster Care Update

Wow. It’s been a while since I wrote. A lot has happened, and that’s been part of the problem. After my last blog post, I went and worked in Idaho until the second week of September. We weren’t sure if I should go work in Idaho this year, because we were waiting to hear from the foster care people, but after praying about it, both Grig and I received the answer, “Keep going and see what happens.” So, Kevin and I left Grig behind and went to work in Idaho.

Weeks passed and we didn’t hear anything. Then, on August 19, I drove my mom and younger brother to the airport to go and visit my sister who was about to have twins in Florida. I stayed in Utah for that entire week, and hoped and prayed that we would hear from the foster care people while I was home. 

It was a really good week to be home anyway. For one thing, Siff was in heat again, so it was nice that she wasn’t outside all day. For another, the foster care lady finally contacted us again and met with us on that Friday, the day before I was supposed to head back to Idaho.

It wasn’t good news. She told us that based upon Grig’s mental health evaluation (that he was asked to have because of trauma in his childhood), that they were going to deny our application. The frustrating thing is that no one will tell us what was the deciding factor during the mental health evaluation. The doctor told Grig that he’d have to ask the foster people, and the foster care people told us that the doctor would have to discuss it with us. So, we’re still a bit in the dark and it's been over a month since we received this news.

That was a pretty hard news to take. I was disappointed, but I knew I couldn’t let myself be too disappointed for Grig’s sake. I knew he already was blaming himself, and if I broke down about it, it would make his guilt worse. Besides, I married Grig, and he comes before everything. I wouldn’t change him, and I’m grateful for who he is. He is a wonderful father and husband, and I mostly feel bad because I know we could supply a safe haven to troubled children, and we're not going to be able to help.

However, I also know the Lord has a plan, but sometimes it’s hard to be patient and have faith. I’m sort of confused about some of the things that happened that made it seem like foster care was going to work out, like the cribs and extra beds that we were given.

We were told that we either need to withdraw our application or appeal the decision, but until we get the report from the doctor, we don’t know which course to take. We still haven’t been able to get a solid word from anyone.

Sometimes I get really sad, because I thought this was going to be the answer to our quest for a larger family, and the emptiness of a solo voice in our home occasionally breaks my heart. I am SO grateful for Kevin, but I also ache for him. He’ll never know what it’s like to have a close sibling and to grow up with a best friend near his same age. Sometimes, going home to visit my family hurts, because the memories come, and I know that Kevin will never have the childhood that I had; the childhood that I want for him.

At least he has the dogs, and they love him.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s my fault, if God doesn’t trust me with any more of his children because I’m botching it as a mother. I know that's probably not the reason, but I can't help the little voice that occasionally whispers critical words to me.

This current trial reminds me of two experiences that when I think of them bring me a lot of hope.

One was on the mission I served for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Right after my trainer left me, I began training new Sister missionaries. I trained two new Sisters, and I thought that was my calling on the mission. I loved being a trainer. It helped me be a better missionary, because I had to be a good example for those I was training.

Then, after my second trainee, I was transferred to a new Sister, who had been in the mission basically as long as I had. I thought that I was being punished because I had been a bad trainer and the Lord no longer trusted me. For the first week with my new companion, I kept going over my time and wondering what I had done wrong. I felt awful, and I beat myself up about it.

However, that Sister became one of my best friends in the whole world. I am so grateful the Lord let me have the time that I did with her and didn’t give me what I thought I wanted. She changed my life, and the Lord knew exactly what I needed.

The other experience is more recent. Two years ago, after Dakota our older dog died, we found a Norwegian Elkhound puppy for sale. It was expensive, but it was the breed that Grig had always wanted us to get. We prayed about whether we should buy it, and we received a very conditional answer that if Grig got a raise at work, that we should get the puppy.

Well, time went on, and the puppy approached the age where it could leave its mother. However, Grig hadn't gotten the raise. Things kept happening that made us positive that we were getting a puppy, but we kept waiting on the raise. Finally, on a Saturday after the puppy was over 8 weeks, we told the kid who owned the pup that we would meet with him the next Monday. That Sunday, he sold the pup to someone else.

We were heartbroken. We had felt so strongly that we were supposed to get this puppy, and we couldn’t believe that we had lost it.

However, as I left the church that night, I thought, the Lord made us a promise, and he doesn’t break his promises. If this puppy is gone, He will provide another one for us.

The next morning, I looked online and was thrilled to discover that someone had just posted another litter of elkhound puppies. They were from a more reputable breeder and were far less expensive than the puppy we had initially been trying to get.

Grig got his raise, we got Siff, and I couldn’t be happier. She is an amazing dog. We wouldn’t trade her for anything.

So, even though I’m not sure how this journey is going to end, I had faith that the Lord has a plan that will be better for us. The feeling that I keep getting is that something big is coming that is going to be amazing. I just have to wait for it. So, I’m trying to have faith, patience, and trust, and find joy in the miracles that I have been given.

Thoughts from Saturday and Sunday

Yesterday, I mentioned that we had Stake Conference this last Sunday. For those of you who may not know, Stake Conference in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is where the "stake" (which is a group of local congregations who are grouped together) meets and hears from the Stake President and usually a visiting general authority. 

There is usually a Saturday night meeting for the adults, and a Sunday morning meeting for everyone. Both meetings are about two hours long. 

Sometimes the Sunday morning meeting is hard to pay attention to, especially when you have small children. This is one of the reasons that I was especially grateful for the Saturday night meeting this year. I really heard a lot of things that I needed, and I received some really good counsel that really struck me to my core. I wanted to share a few things that really helped me.

The first thing that really stuck out to me was when one of the speakers said something along the lines of, "Unwavering faith means faith in God's perfect love, not faith that our family will be healed or saved." 

That was something I had never really thought about in that way. Sometimes when bad things happen, it is really easy to doubt and wonder why our Heavenly Father won't take the trials away from us. It's sometimes hard to understand why the Lord let's bad things happen and why our prayers for relief aren't answered immediately. 

One of my sister-in-laws had struggled with a lot of health problems for the last while. We've been trying to pray and fast for her, and sometimes we wonder why this trial never seems to end. However, as I thought about what the speaker had said, the thought came to me that I didn't have enough faith. Faith isn't just telling the Lord what we want and expecting Him to do it, it's also trusting that He loves us and will do the best thing for us. Sometimes trials are what we need and if we trust in our Heavenly Father, we will become more like him as we learn to endure and have more faith and trust. Sometimes immediate healing isn't going to be the best thing for us. Sometimes we have to pass through the trials in order to become the person that we're meant to be.

One of my greatest trials lately has been my inability to have more children. We've been trying for the last 3+ years. The greatest desire of my heart is to have siblings for my son and to have a large family. However, for some reason, it isn't time yet. I am slowly learning to have patience and trust in my Heavenly Father's plan and His promises. I am learning to trust that the Lord loves me, and His plan will ultimately lead to the greatest happiness for me. 

This is Kevin as a baby. It's hard to believe that it's almost been four years!

The other thing that I really liked that was shared was when another speaker said, "If you ever think that someone you love is entangled in sin so far that Christ cannot save them, you know nothing of the Savior."

The Lord knows His children and loves each and everyone of us. He lets us make our own choices, but we should never lose hope in our brothers and sisters. Sometimes people make bad decisions, but as long as people are alive, there is always the chance that they might change. If we give up on them, we are essentially saying that we don't believe in Christ's ability to heal and change hearts. We need to keep loving, hoping, and praying for those who are lost. 

The third thing that really stood out to me was a talk given on Sunday. The speaker shared a story where we was told by a general authority to give her father a kiss and tell him that she loved him every day for a year. That seemed like a really weird thing to do, and she was frightened to do it because her father was not a physical person and had never told her that he loved her. She didn't know why she'd been asked to do it, but she did it. 

As she obeyed, her father gradually softened, and finally told her that he loved her too. Only a few weeks after the year had passed, her father passed away. She bore testimony that we needed to heed the council of our leaders, even if we don't know why they ask us to do something. I thought that was a really powerful story. 

I'm so grateful that we took the time to go to Stake Conference. Sometimes, it's hard to want to go to church on Saturday night, but a lot of the goals and inspiration that I've received this week have come from the things that I was taught over the last few days. 

I'm super stoked for General Conference this year! I can't wait to learn what the Lord wants to tell me through his servants. 

I Love My Calling

I love my calling, I really do.

When I was first given the assignment to be the primary chorister (the person who teaches the children music) I was a bit nervous about it. It took me a while to find my own rhythm and my own method of doing things.

I feel like I'm finally beginning to know the kids and how to most effectively teach them.

I graduated college with an elementary teaching degree. However, since my graduation, I've become a stay-at-home mom, and thus haven't been able to utilize a lot of the things I have learned. Some of it, I've done in my own home, and I've become a lot better at discipline, but a lot of the things are methods for teaching a large group of children.

I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for the opportunity I've been given to use my talents and to stay practiced in my major.

The kids in my primary are amazing. They try so hard, and I feel like they are pretty self-motivated. Yesterday, I had them come up to the board to draw pictures to illustrate the song we were learning and they tried so hard to be reverent and to sing their best. After I felt we had the words down pretty well, we played a game of hot and cold.

Hot and cold is where I have one of the children hide an item (in this case, a vibrating lobster), and another child goes outside of the room while they do so. Then, once the first child has finished, they return to their seat and the second child comes back in. They then search for the item, and all the children sing louder or softer depending on how close the second child is getting to the item. The closer they get, the louder everyone else sings, and the farther away they get, the quieter everyone is.

They sang so well, and the Spirit was there. Even my little three-year-olds were trying their hardest.

We learned a song about faith. Faith is so important to learn early on in life. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that (Alma 32:21) "faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true."

This life can be pretty turbulent at times. Sometimes when the storms of doubt and distraction rage around us, it is nice to be able to focus on the lessons that I learned as a child. The simplicity of the gospel of Jesus Christ can and does bring us peace in the midst of the chaos that surrounds us.

I was reading in the Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Howard W. Hunter manual, which is what they are studying in Sunday school this year, and I found the following quote from a general conference talk given back in 1969:

… Indifference to the Savior or failure to keep the commandments of God brings about insecurity, inner turmoil, and contention. These are the opposite of peace. Peace can come to an individual only by an unconditional surrender—surrender to him who is the Prince of peace, who has the power to confer peace.¹⁰

The troubles of the world often expressed in screaming headlines should remind us to seek for the peace that comes from living the simple principles of the gospel of Christ. The vociferous minorities will not unsettle our peace of soul if we love our fellowmen and have faith in the atoning sacrifice of the Savior and the quiet assurance he gives of life everlasting. Where do we find such faith in a troubled world? The Lord said, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Luke 11:9–10.)¹¹

...One may live in beautiful and peaceful surroundings but, because of inner dissension and discord, be in a state of constant turmoil. On the other hand, one may be in the midst of utter destruction and the bloodshed of war and yet have the serenity of unspeakable peace. If we look to man and the ways of the world, we will find turmoil and confusion. If we will but turn to God, we will find peace for the restless soul. This was made clear by the words of the Savior: “In the world ye shall have tribulation” (John 16:33); and in his bequest to the Twelve and to all mankind, he said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth. …” (John 14:27.) 

That really hit me yesterday. Sometimes, I do feel buffeted by the events that are occurring in the world right now, but when I focus on the Savior and the little things like faith, hope, and charity, my soul is comforted and peaceful. I remember that the Savior has power over all things, and if I'm on his side, my family and I will be okay, and I'll be able to be with my family forever; regardless of what happens in this life.

As I do my best in my calling and have lived the principles that I've been taught, I have been blessed with more peace and a stronger testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I truly believe and know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is His church on this earth.

That is my solemn witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Relating to Sariah

In the Book of Mormon, it talks about a woman named Sariah. Sariah was a righteous woman, and married to a prophet. However, at one point, the Lord commands Lehi, her husband, to send their sons Laman, Lemuel, Sam, and Nephi back to Jerusalem to get the plates of brass, which contain the scriptures and a historical record of their family.

Time passes and Sariah begins to doubt. She calls her husband a "visionary man" and was sure that her sons had died.

In 2 Nephi 5 it states,

2 For she had supposed that we had perished in the wilderness; and she also had complained against my father, telling him that he was a visionary man; saying: Behold thou hast led us forth from the land of our inheritance, and my sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness.

 3 And after this manner of language had my mother complained against my father.

 4 And it had come to pass that my father spake unto her, saying: I know that I am a visionary man; for if I had not seen the things of God in a vision I should not have known the goodness of God, but had tarried at Jerusalem, and had perished with my brethren.

 5 But behold, I have obtained a land of promise, in the which things I do rejoice; yea, and I know that the Lord will deliver my sons out of the hands of Laban, and bring them down again unto us in the wilderness.

 6 And after this manner of language did my father, Lehi,comfort my mother, Sariah, concerning us, while we journeyed in the wilderness up to the land of Jerusalem, to obtain the record of the Jews.

I have always had a hard time relating to Sariah. I had always thought, why did she doubt, didn't she know her husband was a prophet? What was she so worried about?

Her sons returned from their mission successful, and Sariah said the following:

 8 And she spake, saying: Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons, and delivered them out of the hands of Laban, and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them. And after this manner of language did she speak.

After her sons returned, that's when Sariah gained her testimony that her husband was a prophet, and from then on, we don't hear of her doubting again.

Saturday, while Grig and I were at the temple, he received revelation concerning our family. My husband is not a prophet, but the Lord does give him (and me) revelation about our lives and how we should guide our family.

I had a hard time, because I hadn't felt the same thing. However, as I prayed to receive my own confirmation of what my husband felt, I overheard some men next to me talking about Nephi's journey back to Jerusalem and how when the Lord gives us a commandment, He will provide a way for us to accomplish the things that he tells us to do (1 Nephi 3:7).

Grig and I have a very equal relationship. Usually when we pray for guidance, we both receive confirmation of what the Lord wants us to do. However, sometimes, only one of us will feel something. Grig has trusted in my impressions in the past, and I am learning to trust in his, even when I don't feel the same. He's a very good man, and trying hard to do what is right.

Sometimes it's easy to doubt someone we love, just as Sariah did. However, I felt the Spirit testify to me that I need to trust in my husband and honor his role as husband and father. That was a good enough answer for me. That doesn't mean that I still don't have to push down doubts occasionally, but it means that I know that I am doing what the Lord wants me to, and He will provide a way for me to have faith in my husband's words.

If I can have sufficient faith and believe, in due time I will see that my husband was correct, and then, like Sariah, I can say, "Now I know of a surety." Until then, I am learning to trust in the Lord, and in my husband.

Link to this picture's source

MM: The Souls of Animals

I love animals. I always have.

One of my favorite truths that we're taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that everything is a creation of our Heavenly Father.

We believe that every living thing has a soul. If you want to read further on teaching of the church concerning this, there is an article about it called "The Gospel and Animals." I took a lot of my sources from this article.

One of Grig's and my favorite stories about Joseph Smith, the first president of the church, happened during the Zion’s Camp expedition in 1834, an incident occurred that allowed a practical application of concern for animal life. As related by the Prophet Joseph Smith in his history:

“In pitching my tent we found three massasaugas or prairie rattlesnakes, which the brethren were about to kill, but I said, ‘Let them alone—don’t hurt them! How will the serpent ever lose his venom, while the servants of God possess the same disposition, and continue to make war upon it? Men must become harmless, before the brute creation; and when men lose their vicious dispositions and cease to destroy the animal race, the lion and the lamb can dwell together, and the sucking child can play with the serpent in safety.’ The brethren took the serpents carefully on sticks and carried them across the creek. I exhorted the brethren not to kill a serpent, bird, or an animal of any kind during our journey unless it became necessary in order to preserve ourselves from hunger.” (Documentary History of the Church, vol. 2, pp. 71–72.)

He goes on to state concerning the resurrection of animals:

“Says one, ‘I cannot believe in the salvation of beasts.’ Any man who would tell you this could not be, would tell you that the revelations are not true. John heard the words of the beast giving glory to God, and understood them. God who made the beasts could understand every language spoken by them. The beasts were four of the most noble animals that filled the measure of their creation, and had been saved from other worlds, because they were perfect. They were like angels in their sphere. We are not told where they came from, and I do not know; but they were seen and heard by John praising and glorifying God.” (DHC, vol. 5, pp. 343–44.)  

This is especially applicable and comforting to me today.

Dakota isn't doing well. After a lot of prayer and thought, we've decided it is time to put her down. The vet will be here soon to do so.  It's been a difficult few months, but I know that Dakota will be happier when she's free of her mortal pain.

I just know her spirit's going to be running laps in joy and that she'll be waiting on the other side for the time when we join her.

While revising the Bible, the Prophet desired further understanding concerning the four beasts mentioned in Revelation 4:6 [Rev. 4:6]. Section 77 of the Doctrine and Covenants contained the response from the Lord. The answer revealed that “heaven, the paradise of God,” contained beasts, creeping things, and fowls of the air, and “every other creature which God has created.” (D&C 77:2.)

I know that animals have souls and that God loves each and everyone of them. I know we will be accountable for how to treat the animals and people under our care.

My Views on Marriage as a Mormon

Please understand that when I write this blog post. I am NOT trying to stir up controversy. In fact, I am attempting to do the very opposite. I am trying to increase understanding. Many people don’t understand why the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) has taken such a strong stand on marriage being between a man and a woman.

I am not an official spokesperson for the church, but I wanted to explain my views as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as best and as simply as I can.

Here goes:

1) The sealing power has been restored to the Earth today.

In ancient times, the Lord gave His authority to His servants to act in His name. This meant that when they sealed something on Earth, it was also sealed in Heaven. Acts that occurred on Earth no longer affected things in this life only, but throughout all eternity. I believe that this authority in on the Earth and has been restored in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This means that there are servants on the Earth today who have authority from God to act in His name.

2) Temple Sealing makes marriages that can last for time and all eternity.

            In the temple, if a worthy young man and young woman prepare themselves; they can be sealed by the authority of the Lord’s servants. This temple sealing is a bit different from the standard wedding. Instead of saying, “Until death do you part,” we are told that we are now married for “time and all eternity.” Of course, without real authority from God, these are just words. I testify, however, that I know that this authority does exist and can be found in the temples. I have been sealed to my husband and as long as we both continue faithful through this life, we will be married for time and all eternity. It is not a guaranteed ticket into heaven, but we have made covenants with our Father that will lead us there if we keep them.

3) Eternal progression allows families to continue after this life

            I testify that families can be forever. “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal,and eternal identity and purpose.”  In the next life, a sealed husband and wife will continue to have children. That is part of eternal progression. Children are an essential part of families and a key part of the Lord’s plan for happiness. Without children, things come to an end. Same-gender couples are incapable of having children. A man and woman, therefore, are essential for God’s children to progress.

4) Those that don’t have the opportunity in this life will be given it in the next

            Often, I have heard or seen people say, “But what about heterosexual couples who can’t have children? Doesn’t that invalidate your argument about the point of marriage?” Not at all.

I testify that God is a just and loving God, and this life is neither the beginning nor the end.

            The Lord has said in Isaiah 54:1 “Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord.” I testify that any blessings that are denied in this life will be multiplied in the life to come if we remain faithful. If someone is unable to marry in this life through no fault of their own, I know the Lord will make it right. If a couple is unable to bear children and they are faithful and keep the commandments, they will have children in the world to come.

            That doesn’t make it easier to endure through this life and remain faithful, but it is a comfort. It is also possible to be chaste and pure.

            I testify that whatever sins or temptations an individual will face (and we all do), that if we strive to keep the commandments of our Heavenly Father, the Lord will be by our side to bear us up, and show us how to overcome our trials.

5) The Lord loves everyone

            The Lord doesn’t want anyone to be miserable. The purpose of this life is to bring about the immortality and eternal life of humankind (Moses 1:39). We also believe that we came to this earth to have joy (2 Nephi 2:25). When we encourage others to keep the Lord’s commandments, we shouldn’t be doing it because we want to make them feel guilty; we should be doing it because we love them and want them to have joy.

            When Christ came to the earth, He boldly declared the doctrine of God. He didn’t lie or change it to suit what was popular. However, when He met those who were sinners, or people who acted contrary to the gospel, He didn’t mock them or turn them away. He loved them. He encouraged them to change their ways and follow Him, but He also accepted their decisions.

            I want to emulate my Savior. I want to love everyone, regardless of their decisions, but I want to be brave in declaring the Lord’s words as well. When we truly love someone, we have the courage to tell them that they are making bad choices and to try and help them make better ones. True love is being honest, and when people know that you love them for who they already are, they are also more receptive to hearing your words.

           

6) The only way to achieve true happiness is through the Lord’s commandments

             I know that if we keep the commandments of Heavenly Father and follow His plan, that we will be given more blessings and joy than we could ever imagine. The Lord only has one path that leads to true and unending happiness. There are many pleasures and temporary thrills on this Earth. There are even ways to gain temporary happiness. However, all of these will eventually leave people feeling unfulfilled and hungry for more. When true happiness from our Heavenly Father is found, we will no longer hunger in our souls. We will be filled.  

            I testify that I have eaten of the bread of life, and have felt the fullness of joy that accompanies it.

7) Any sexual act outside of marriage (between a man and a woman) is a sin. 

            Feeling attraction toward someone else of the same gender is not a sin. No one should feel that they are a bad person because they are feeling those temptations. However, when we choose to act upon temptations, we sin. It is normal to feel sexual attraction for another person. However, if we can wait to act upon those feelings until we are in the proper place and time (marriage), then we are being obedient to the Lord’s commandments, and we will be strengthened and aided. Our marriage will be stronger for having waited.

            That isn’t to say that if a person were to be intimate before marriage or if they have sinned in other ways that there isn’t hope. Often in this life, we make mistakes. Everyone sins, every day. The point isn’t to lose hope in oneself; it is to find hope in the atonement of our Savior. Regardless of what we’ve done in this life, the Lord has suffered for all sins, and we can find comfort and peace in Him.

Conclusion 

            

            In conclusion, this is what I believe to be truth. You are welcome to disagree with me, but please try to understand me as well. If I encourage others to believe as I do, it is only because it has brought so much joy and happiness to me, and I want the same for them. When people choose a different path, I may sorrow for them, because I know they are missing out on so much more, but I also respect their decisions and continue to love them. 

           This is my view and understanding of marriage. My beliefs on marriage are centered around God and His plan for His children. If God is removed from marriage, then there is no meaning to marriage. With God, marriage means everything, and is central to His plan of happiness.

Mormon Monday: Callings

I love my current callings.

I am the senior primary chorister. Which essentially means that I teach music to kids from age 8-11. It is a really fun calling, though I usually run out of time before I finish the lesson.

This last week for Father's day, we had a review of the songs that we had learned so far this year. I taped safety pins to fish that the other chorister had made. Then I took our half of a pool stick, tied yarn to it, and then attached our key-magnet to it.

Then, we went fishing. Each of the fish had a number on the back that either correlated to a song, or it let them pick any song they wanted to sing.

The activity went really well. The kids seemed to enjoy it, and my fishing pole worked great.

The Spirit was really strong during some of the songs as the kids sung their very best in the hopes that they would be the next one picked to fish.

My other calling is that I am on the Relief Society activity committee. That means that I help plan activities for the women in our ward. The head of our committee is pretty awesome, and she is getting really good at delegating.

The nice thing about having these two callings, is that I am getting to know the kids and the women in our ward. Since we're still fairly new (we've only been  here for four months), it is a great way for me to make friends and get to know people.

We are in a wonderful ward, and I really feel at home here. They seem really supportive and friendly.

Last Saturday, Grig was trying to do one of his callings, which is to be in charge of making sure the church gets cleaned. Every ward switches off, and so he only has to do this calling every third month or so.

As with all things in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is strictly volunteer. He had asked a few people to come and help, but it was a difficult Saturday for many people, and we weren't sure who, if anyone, was going to come.

Friday night, we prayed that people would come and help us so that we wouldn't have to clean all day.

Saturday morning, we had a few people come, and we were grateful for their help. However, an hour and half after Grig had started, another large family showed up that we weren't expecting, and some kids who were practicing for a play came and joined us in cleaning as well. With the extra help, the cleaning was concluded in another half an hour.

I was about to leave when they came (I had a previous appointment), but it was good I hadn't yet, because the new family only spoke Spanish, so I was able to talk to them and explain what they were supposed to do before I had to leave.

We are so grateful to those who came to help, and to the Lord for inspiring more to come.

It is amazing how much help the Lord gives us when we sacrifice our time to do what He has asked us to do. I love being able to serve. It helps me to be like Christ every day of the week, instead of just on Sunday.

Mormon Monday: Why I Went on a Mission

The other day, I was talking to my cousin who had just received a mission call to Mexico. I asked her if she was excited, and she admitted that she was pretty nervous. I then asked her why she wanted to go on a mission.

She said she didn't know, and turned the question back onto me. Why had I decided to go on a mission?

Here is the story, and the reason that I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Even as a missionary, I really connected with people through their animals.

In 2007, I was beginning to rethink my life. I had begun to doubt my decision to go to vet school. For a long time, I had been planning to become a vet "if" I didn't get married. However, as I worked for a vet, worked at the zoo, pet-sat, walked dogs, and worked with livestock, I began to realize that there are many other things I could do besides be a vet.  Really, I just wanted to work with animals.  However, I was becoming pretty sure that I didn't want to deal with other people's sick animals my whole life. It could be pretty depressing.

One experience that really affected me was one time when I assisting with a cat spay. The cat was very fat, which wasn't unusual, but as we opened her up, we realized that she wasn't fat after all. She was pregnant. We called up the owners to make sure that they wanted us to continue, and when they gave us the go-ahead, we aborted those kittens. I could literally see the moment when the life left those tiny bodies. It affected me very deeply, and make me rethink what I wanted to do the rest of my life.

I also had some strange tremors in my muscles that occurred randomly and seemingly without cause. With the shaking in my hands, I wondered if I would even be capable of performing the needed surgeries. I loved my jobs and the experiences and lessons that I was learning, but I just wasn't sure in which direction I was supposed to go.

About this time, my dad had suggested that I think about serving a mission. I was considering this as well, and was starting to feel pretty good about the option. I was also contemplating switching to English major, when I received an e-mail from my zoo supervisor.  He told me that he wanted to meet with me.  I agreed and Friday afternoon, because I got off the vet job early, I went to the zoo to talk to him.  He informed me that one of the full-time workers was leaving and he wondered if I would like his job.  I was deeply honored, especially when he told me that he really liked the way that I was so willing to do whatever was needed, and how hard of a worker I was.  I told him I didn't think it would work with my school schedule, since I was taking 16 credits this semester, and I was thinking of going on a mission next summer.  He told me he would like it more long term, but he would like me think about it since it was a life-changing thing.  He suggested I could also go down to 6 credits a semester.

I went home feeling pleased but nervous.  His praise had made me feel really good, and it was a job I definitely wouldn't mind doing.  The huge money increase wouldn't be bad either.  However, I would have to quit my other job, and less credit hours of school meant more years of school. It also would effectively erase my social life, since I would probably end up taking evening and night classes.

I struggled with this decision for the rest of the week.  I called Dad as soon as I got home and told him what had happened.  Mom called that afternoon and I told her as well.  They both reminded me that it was fast Sunday and I needed to pray about this decision.  Dad seemed a little unsure about the idea, while Mom seemed pretty enthusiastic about it.  Its good to have parents with different opinions.  I prayed and read scriptures, trying keep myself in tune so that I could hear and understand the answer when it came. While I was praying about it, Dad suggested that I pray about going on a mission too. I thought, "Sure, I'll just throw that in there as well."

I worked that weekend at the zoo and the idea of working there full-time was constantly in my mind, making me slightly stressed and also excited.  Pro’s and con’s jumped at me from every direction and I knew that this was a huge moment in my two decades of life.

During lunch, I randomly opened the scriptures and it fell to D&C 88:74-86, which reads:

 74 And I give unto you, who are the first laborers in this last kingdom, a commandment that you assemble yourselves together, and organize yourselves, and prepare yourselves, and sanctify yourselves; yea, purify your hearts, and cleanse your hands and your feet before me, that I may make you clean;

 75 That I may testify unto your Father, and your God, and my God, that you are clean from the blood of this wicked generation; that I may fulfil this promise, this great and last promise, which I have made unto you, when I will.

 76 Also, I give unto you a commandment that ye shall continue in prayer and fasting from this time forth.

 77 And I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom.

 78 Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;

 79 Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—

 80 That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you, and the mission with which I have commissioned you.

 81 Behold, I sent you out to testify and warn the people, and it becometh every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbor.

 82 Therefore, they are left without excuse, and their sins are upon their own heads.

 83 He that seeketh me early shall find me, and shall not be forsaken.

 84 Therefore, tarry ye, and labor diligently, that you may be perfected in your ministry to go forth among the Gentiles for the last time, as many as the mouth of the Lord shall name, to bind up the law and seal up the testimony, and to prepare the saints for the hour of judgment which is to come;

 85 That their souls may escape the wrath of God, the desolation of abomination which awaits the wicked, both in this world and in the world to come. Verily, I say unto you, let those who are not the first elders continue in the vineyard until the mouth of the Lord shall call them, for their time is not yet come; their garments are not clean from the blood of this generation.

 86 Abide ye in the liberty wherewith ye are made free; entangle not yourselves in sin, but let your hands be clean, until the Lord comes.

As I read over these scriptures, I felt like I had received my answer. I need to go on a mission. I continued to read and study the scriptures, and every time I randomly opened them, I landed on a verse about missionary work. I also received some other counsel on how to prepare before I left.  I became positive that I was supposed to go on a mission.  I also felt that the time wasn't right for me to take that job.

Leaving those two jobs and my schooling was a large sacrifice. I love my employers and my duties. I enjoyed every aspect of work, and the experiences I had while I was there helped me to mature and grow into a much better person.

However, I wanted to do what the Lord wanted me to do. In my case, that meant that I was supposed to leave my family, friends, school, and work for 18 months to serve my Father in Heaven.

Not everyone is meant to serve a mission, but I needed it. The mission did something incredible for me. The difficulties I faced ripped me apart, showed me my weaknesses, and then showed me how Christ had made it possible to fix them. I am so grateful for the inspiration that I was given at that time that guided me to the next step of my journey through life.

This is the time I dented the curtain at the church when we were playing soccer. That's a story for another time.

All the things I had learned before the mission became useful. I made incredible life-long friends, and my testimony of Jesus Christ flourished and grew.

It was on my mission that I was given inspiration to know where I should go to school when I returned and what I should study. Thanks to that, I met my husband and am now happily married with a degree in elementary education. I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now, and I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. That's a comforting thing, and we've been so blessed because of it.

The miracle is, this doesn't just work for me. The Lord wants to guide all of our lives, and He introduces us to people that will help us to make decisions that will bring us happiness and peace. I testify that these things are true, and I am so grateful to have His guiding light in my life.

The Lord has missions for all of us, and it is our responsibility to figure out what we are supposed to be doing. It's a life-long journey, and though it isn't always easy, it is totally worth the effort.

Mormon Monday: Being Born Again

When I was serving a mission in San Antonio, Texas, I ran into many Born-again Christians. They were always very nice to me, and I often had incredible conversations with them. From what I understand from talking to these strangers (and please correct me if I'm incorrect in anyway, because my intention is not to be insulting, but loving), Born-again Christians are generally people who didn't believe in God or Christ, but had a deeply spiritual experience where they felt the Lord's love for them and have now accepted Christ as their Savior. Most of them seem to believe that by accepting Christ at that moment, He saved them for all eternity.

That is a beautiful thought, and one that does contain truth.

However, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons), we believe that a one-time repentance of your sins is not sufficient.

As members of the LDS church, we believe that Christ is the literal son of God. We believe that He descended from heaven, took on a mortal form, lived a perfectly sinless life, suffered for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane, died on the cross, and three days later was resurrected.

We believe that through Christ, we can become cleansed of our sins and live with our Father in heaven. We believe that God has a specific plan for us, which we call the Plan of Salvation. (I spoke about that in more detail in a previous blog post.)

Like many other Christians, we do believe that we need to be "born again," but we view this phrase a little differently.

I wanted to discuss the 3rd Chapter of John for a moment. This chapter begins with a leader among the Jews approaching Christ to clarify a point of doctrine. The chapter states:

 1 There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:
 2 The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.
 3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
 4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born?

This is a fair question, and it mirrors what many people say today when they are mocking those who believe that they can be born again. However, Christ addressed his question with love and answered simply:

 5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
 7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
 8 The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

In our church, we have been taught that here Christ is referring to baptism. As we are symbolically immersed in the water, we bury our old selves behind and are born again as children of Christ. We take his name upon us and covenant with him that we will keep the commandments, take his name upon us, and always remember him. In return, those with the priesthood (the authority of God) are able to give the gift of the Holy Ghost, and as long as we are doing our best, we will always have His Spirit to be with us. In this sense we are literally born again in Christ.

 9 Nicodemus answered and said unto him, How can these things be?
 10 Jesus answered and said unto him, Art thou a master of Israel, and knowest not these things?
 11 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, We speak that we do know, and testify that we have seen; and ye receive not our witness.
 12 If I have told you earthly things, and ye believe not, how shall ye believe, if I tell you of heavenly things?
 13 And no man hath ascended up to heaven, but he that came down from heaven, even the Son of man which is in heaven.
 14 ¶And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:
 15 That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
 16 ¶For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
 18 ¶He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
 19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
 21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

I love this section. It states that Christ came because God wanted to save his children, and as we accept and believe in him, we can be saved and have everlasting life.

We believe that after you are 'born again' through baptism, you also have to endure to the end. You have to continue to make and keep those covenants that you made through baptism and continue to progress to become more like Christ. Unclean things cannot enter heaven, and the closer we can become to our Heavenly Father in this life, the easier it will be to enter his presence.

We believe that we are saved by grace. We do our best, but without our Savior it will never be enough. However, with His aid, we can accomplish all things. We believe grace to be the enabling power of God. With grace, we become capable of reaching heaven and living with our Father again. Without grace, we are filthy from our mistakes and nothing we do can ever remove that filthiness.

I recently read an article by an ex-Christian who stated that they had put aside their 'childish beliefs' because they found inaccuracies in the bible. As a evangelical student studying the Bible at Yale, they found many inaccuracies and contradictions that destroyed their faith. I quote from the blog here:

We evangelicals, with our infallible view of scripture ripped from our hands, were left gasping for air. If you crumple and toss out a literal reading of the Bible, then what does it mean to talk about Jesus literally dying for your sins?

I can understand why many Christians would feel this way. As Latter-Day Saints, we believe the Bible to be the word of God, as far as it is translated correctly.

We recognize that the Bible is an incredible work of scripture, but that over the centuries, things have been changed, sometimes by accident and sometimes maliciously. We believe that Christ was truly the Son of God, by our faith is not only sustained by the words of the Bible. We believe that God still lives today and we have living prophets and apostles. I know this to be true through my own experiences and because I have felt the Holy Ghost confirm the truth of it. I know that Christ did come and suffer for my sins and that baptism is essential for salvation.