Kind of the Last Foster Care Update

Wow. It’s been a while since I wrote. A lot has happened, and that’s been part of the problem. After my last blog post, I went and worked in Idaho until the second week of September. We weren’t sure if I should go work in Idaho this year, because we were waiting to hear from the foster care people, but after praying about it, both Grig and I received the answer, “Keep going and see what happens.” So, Kevin and I left Grig behind and went to work in Idaho.

Weeks passed and we didn’t hear anything. Then, on August 19, I drove my mom and younger brother to the airport to go and visit my sister who was about to have twins in Florida. I stayed in Utah for that entire week, and hoped and prayed that we would hear from the foster care people while I was home. 

It was a really good week to be home anyway. For one thing, Siff was in heat again, so it was nice that she wasn’t outside all day. For another, the foster care lady finally contacted us again and met with us on that Friday, the day before I was supposed to head back to Idaho.

It wasn’t good news. She told us that based upon Grig’s mental health evaluation (that he was asked to have because of trauma in his childhood), that they were going to deny our application. The frustrating thing is that no one will tell us what was the deciding factor during the mental health evaluation. The doctor told Grig that he’d have to ask the foster people, and the foster care people told us that the doctor would have to discuss it with us. So, we’re still a bit in the dark and it's been over a month since we received this news.

That was a pretty hard news to take. I was disappointed, but I knew I couldn’t let myself be too disappointed for Grig’s sake. I knew he already was blaming himself, and if I broke down about it, it would make his guilt worse. Besides, I married Grig, and he comes before everything. I wouldn’t change him, and I’m grateful for who he is. He is a wonderful father and husband, and I mostly feel bad because I know we could supply a safe haven to troubled children, and we're not going to be able to help.

However, I also know the Lord has a plan, but sometimes it’s hard to be patient and have faith. I’m sort of confused about some of the things that happened that made it seem like foster care was going to work out, like the cribs and extra beds that we were given.

We were told that we either need to withdraw our application or appeal the decision, but until we get the report from the doctor, we don’t know which course to take. We still haven’t been able to get a solid word from anyone.

Sometimes I get really sad, because I thought this was going to be the answer to our quest for a larger family, and the emptiness of a solo voice in our home occasionally breaks my heart. I am SO grateful for Kevin, but I also ache for him. He’ll never know what it’s like to have a close sibling and to grow up with a best friend near his same age. Sometimes, going home to visit my family hurts, because the memories come, and I know that Kevin will never have the childhood that I had; the childhood that I want for him.

At least he has the dogs, and they love him.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s my fault, if God doesn’t trust me with any more of his children because I’m botching it as a mother. I know that's probably not the reason, but I can't help the little voice that occasionally whispers critical words to me.

This current trial reminds me of two experiences that when I think of them bring me a lot of hope.

One was on the mission I served for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Right after my trainer left me, I began training new Sister missionaries. I trained two new Sisters, and I thought that was my calling on the mission. I loved being a trainer. It helped me be a better missionary, because I had to be a good example for those I was training.

Then, after my second trainee, I was transferred to a new Sister, who had been in the mission basically as long as I had. I thought that I was being punished because I had been a bad trainer and the Lord no longer trusted me. For the first week with my new companion, I kept going over my time and wondering what I had done wrong. I felt awful, and I beat myself up about it.

However, that Sister became one of my best friends in the whole world. I am so grateful the Lord let me have the time that I did with her and didn’t give me what I thought I wanted. She changed my life, and the Lord knew exactly what I needed.

The other experience is more recent. Two years ago, after Dakota our older dog died, we found a Norwegian Elkhound puppy for sale. It was expensive, but it was the breed that Grig had always wanted us to get. We prayed about whether we should buy it, and we received a very conditional answer that if Grig got a raise at work, that we should get the puppy.

Well, time went on, and the puppy approached the age where it could leave its mother. However, Grig hadn't gotten the raise. Things kept happening that made us positive that we were getting a puppy, but we kept waiting on the raise. Finally, on a Saturday after the puppy was over 8 weeks, we told the kid who owned the pup that we would meet with him the next Monday. That Sunday, he sold the pup to someone else.

We were heartbroken. We had felt so strongly that we were supposed to get this puppy, and we couldn’t believe that we had lost it.

However, as I left the church that night, I thought, the Lord made us a promise, and he doesn’t break his promises. If this puppy is gone, He will provide another one for us.

The next morning, I looked online and was thrilled to discover that someone had just posted another litter of elkhound puppies. They were from a more reputable breeder and were far less expensive than the puppy we had initially been trying to get.

Grig got his raise, we got Siff, and I couldn’t be happier. She is an amazing dog. We wouldn’t trade her for anything.

So, even though I’m not sure how this journey is going to end, I had faith that the Lord has a plan that will be better for us. The feeling that I keep getting is that something big is coming that is going to be amazing. I just have to wait for it. So, I’m trying to have faith, patience, and trust, and find joy in the miracles that I have been given.

Siff's 2nd Heat

About two weeks ago, our dog Siff began to bleed again.

This is her second heat. She turned one in January, but we won't be breeding her until after she turns two.

Siff in diapers

This one has been much easier than her first one. The first one ended up lasting around four weeks. The blood flow was much heavier, and lasted a lot longer. This time, the blood has been fairly light, and it only lasted just over a week.

She's really funny when she's on her heat. Usually, Siff is friendly, but not overly cuddly. She gets warm quickly, and so when she wants attention, she'll just come and sit in front of you and give you the option to pet her.

However, when she's in heat, she is super cuddly. She plopped down on top of me the other day and just laid there. It's pretty cute. She's always sweet, but she's especially funny at this time of year.

She's going to be a great mom. She's really sweet to younger dogs and is friendly to everyone. She's really pretty too. She was really easy to train and she has a really good temperament.

During her first heat, her tail became really limp. It's a condition called Limber Tail Syndrom. She has had a little bit of that this time, but not nearly as bad as last time. This time, her tail is just a little more floppy when she runs and swings more loosely back and forth across her back.

It's added an extra layer of complication this week, but it hasn't been that much trouble. Our home inspection is tomorrow, but I think it's going to go well. I'll try and blog tomorrow night to let you all know how things went.

Siff's 1st Birthday

Today was Siff's first birthday. She is officially no longer a puppy. We love our little elkhound girl. Kevin was really excited all day that it was her birthday. He kept saying, "Happy birthday, Siff!" and roughing up the fur on her face. She loved it. 

We've had Loki (Arkhon's brother) here for the last week or so. They're having some problems with their front door, and since it's been as cold as 25 below zero, they decided it wasn't safe for any of them until they get their front door fixed. We agreed. So, he got to join us for our celebration today. 

They've been having a lot of fun together, and Kevin enjoys playing with all of them. He loves his dogs. 

 Kevin helped me make Siff a dog cake (which is human friendly, but pretty bland), and she got ot sit at the table while we sang "Happy Birthday." She didn't really like being up on the chair, but she and the other two enjoyed eating the cake. Kevin then opened her presents for her, and they got a couple of treats.

 Here is the three of them waiting for a treat.

In some ways, it's hard to believe our baby girl is a a year old already, but in other ways, it seems like she's been a part of our family forever. She's so chill and usually so well behaved. The other morning though, she suddenly reverted to puppy-hood and chewed up a bunch of stuff. Hopefully, it was a one time thing. It was pretty random. She hasn't chewed up anything in months.

We have some pretty great dogs. They're really well behaved and definitely help me with my stress levels.

Happy Birthday, Siff! We love you.

Halloween 2016

We had a most excellent Halloween.We started the day off with preschool, and Kevin and the dogs dressed up for that. Arkhon didn't really like his costume, but Siff seemed to enjoy it. 

We had a fun Halloween preschool. We made masks, drew the letter H on balloons, and learned about our primary colors. After Kevin's classmate went home, we worked on getting ready to go trick-or-treating. Kevin tried on a couple other costumes too!

Once Grig came home, we carved our pumpkin. We had taken Kevin to the store the week before and told him to pick out a pumpkin. We were going to buy three, but when he picked this monster, we decided one was enough. Next year we may have to implement a rule one of my walking friends just told me about. In her family. They had to be able to carry their pumpkin to the car. That is such a good idea!

We each took a side of the pumpkin, since it was so big.

 Grig cut off the top, Kevin and I gutted it, and then we each drew on our creation. Kevin's was tricky because it wasn't really easy to cut out, but after he directed us, we managed to cut out what he wanted.

I also made dinner so we could eat before we went Trick-or-treating.

 Meanwhile, Siff tried on goggles. She was pretty cute.

We finally finished. Kevin loved carving pumpkins! He enjoyed every second of it.

 Here are the final works of art!

 After we finished eating, we went out with some friends and Trick-or-treated for a while. We brought Siff along with us, and she had a great time. Kevin was a hit, and he loved saying, "Trick-of-Treat" and "Happy Halloween." He and his friends took turns ringing and knocking on the doors.

Here's Siff in her costume. Arkhon was not happy about being left home. 

We were supposed to be over at my Great Aunt's apartment complex by 7:30 pm. I looked at my watch and realized half-way around our block that it was 7:26. We quickly realized we weren't going to make it in time and called to tell her that we wouldn't be arriving until a little later.

We finished knocking around our block and headed off; only to find that in our hurry, we had forgotten one of Kevin's shoes.So, barefoot, we entered my great aunt's complex.

Kevin made off like a bandit. My aunt and a friend stuffed Kevin's little bucket full, since we were nearly the last people to visit. It was pretty adorable. We thanked them, took a few pictures, and then drove to my grandma's house. They took the following picture of us.

 Havelock and Allopex were nice and manned the door. They handed out candy while we went out and knocked for more. Kevin loves his uncles, and they were really nice to help out. It is sometimes really nice to have them living in the basement.

We got home late, but we had a really good time. Kevin loved Halloween! I asked him what he was going to be next year, and he gave me a funny look, as though he couldn't believe I didn't already know, and stated obviously, "A T-rex." We'll see if he still feels the same way next Halloween.

When he said his prayers that night, he thanked Heavenly Father for the pumpkin carving, the trick-or-treating, and the candy. Grig and I really enjoyed ourselves too.

I adore Halloween!

Limber Tail Syndrome

Yesterday, I woke up to find something wrong with Siff.

Her usually tightly curled tail was horizontal with her back. When I lifted it, it dropped back down like a limp noodle, and she seemed unable to curl it or wag it. When she sat down, she didn't seem to be able to even exert the control to move it out of her way.

Very concerned, I texted my husband. I told him that I was worried that her tail was either dislocated or broken. I asked if I should call the vet, which I really wanted to do, but not without talking to Grig first.

He gave an affirmative answer, and I quickly phoned our vet. She is amazing, and told me that she could come by our home by 1:30 p.m. She is an At Your Door Veterinarian, and so she comes to our home to give shots and do exams. I used to work for her in college, and she's one of my favorite people.

I really enjoyed worked as a Veterinarian Assistant, and I learned a lot from her. I knew she would know if Siff's tail was dislocated or broken. I didn't remember her being injured or yelping. If it was broken, it seemed like I would have heard something or noticed it sooner.

This is how it hung all day yesterday. It was very strange.

We went on a nice long walk to get the excess energy out of the dogs, but Siff was pretty tired at the end. Her energy level wasn't anywhere near normal. It was weird though, because she didn't seem to be in pain either.

The vet arrived promptly at 1:30. She greeted the dogs and tried to hug Siff, but she was too excited. She asked me if Siff ever calmed down enough to hug, because she looked so huggable. I told her that she was super huggable and that she quickly calmed down.

Then, she examined Siff. After a few minutes, she told me that the tail didn't feel broken or dislocated, and Siff didn't seem to be in very much pain. Then, she told me that she had seen this kind of situation before. I guess some dogs, especially Labradors, hounds, and other hunting dogs, will sometimes get limp tails like this. They call it Limber Tail Syndrome or No Wag Syndrome. They usually get it after long periods of rest followed by sudden exercise or after swimming in cold water. She wasn't sure how Siff had gotten it, and neither was I. We've been walking, but not an extreme amount.

She wondered if it might have to do with Siff's heat. She told me that she had once seen a German Shepherd that had gone lame when it entered its heat. That makes sense, since there is a softening of some tissue when dogs go into heat.

She gave us some anti-inflammatory drugs, and, after a few more minutes, left.

Today, Siff's tail is already better.

This is how it usually sits on her back.

I looked up Limber Tail Syndrome yesterday, and on the internet it said that many veterinarians have not even heard of it because it is such a rare condition. I'm really grateful that our veterinarian had and was able to diagnose it. It definitely was comforting to know that nothing really serious was wrong with our baby girl.

It was kind of a funny realization too, how much we care about her.

Grig grew up on a farm, so he's always been a little bit on the "dogs are tools, not family," side of things. I didn't feel entirely the same, but our dogs were always outdoor dogs, and so I loved them, but they weren't a huge part of our lives.

Siff and Arkhon are. They are with me nearly 24 hours a day, and we do tons of things with them. They aren't on the same level as Kevin, our son, but they are definitely part of our family.

At the thought of Siff being severely injured, both Grig and I got pretty stressed about it. He was surprised later by how bothered and upset he was. We have fantastic dogs. They are very well trained, and rarely cause us stress. Mostly, they are stress relievers.

We're so grateful that our beautiful Norwegian Elkhound is alright. I'm also really grateful for our Veterinarian. She is wonderful.

Explanations

It's been a while since I blogged.

I don't have much excuse before July, but during the second half of July, all of August, and the first week of September, I've been out of town.

My grandparents own apartments in Idaho, and for the last few years during the break between semesters, I've been going to help them clean and renovate the apartments.

My parents, who live nearby, kindly agree to watch Kevin while I help my aunt and some of my siblings get the apartments ready. This usually involves painting, patching, cleaning, and repairing the apartments. We were hoping to tile three upstairs bathrooms too, but due to a few unexpected projects, we were only able to tile one of the bathrooms we had been hoping to work on.

It ended up looking pretty awesome though. :)

This year, I worked with my Dad, my youngest brother, my aunt, and my two sisters who are twins. Everyone worked really hard. Half way through, my dad (who is a principal) and my brother (who is a sophomore in high school) started school and had to leave. It was nice to work with them for a while.

Grig had to stay in Utah because of his job (which we're really grateful that he has), and so I got a little homesick sometimes for him and our house. I also missed my two dogs. One weekend, Grig had to bring them up because I needed to see them. Siff has grown quite a bit!

However, it was really nice to be around my family for so long. We live away from them, and sometimes I don't realize how much I am missing. Returning home was a bit bittersweet. It was hard to be away from home so long, and I was super excited to return with Grig. Kevin was excited too.

When I told him that we would be going home with Daddy, he looked at me and asked, in the sweetest tone, "Can I come with you?" Naturally, we told him yes.

However, as we prepared to leave and I stood at the top of the stairs and just watched my family talk and laugh together, I became a little emotional.

I love my home, my family, and my life, and I know we're where we're supposed to be. However, that doesn't mean that I don't regret sometimes that we live so far away. Compared to Grig's family, we're pretty close, but we still aren't able to go visit as often as I would like to.

I don't know how many more summers were going to be able to do this, but it is a blessing in many ways. It's a great chance to reconnect with my siblings and for Kevin to play with his cousins. Even if we can't come for six weeks next year, it would be nice to at least come for one.

Who knows? Maybe next year everyone won't be so stressed with wedding preparations.

The wedding went well too. Right after we finished, my youngest sister was married. She and her husband made a beautiful couple, and we're excited to have him join the family. He and my husband share a name and an occupation, so it can be a little confusing, but he's a nice guy.

Now, I don't have any unmarried sisters. My two youngest brothers are still available though, in case anyone was wondering. One's on in a mission in Chile, and the other is still in high school. My parents have had a wedding every year for the last six years.

I don't think they'd mind a little bit of a break.

It is really nice to be home, and hopefully back on a good schedule. We had a really good Stake Conference yesterday and Saturday night that I want to talk about a little tomorrow. It helped me set some new goals that I am going to really try to keep.

Kevin's been pretty happy to be home too.

Introducting Siff: The Norwegian Elhound Pup

A video I meant to upload on Saturday. Pictures of Siff are pretty cute, but they don't really compare to the real thing.

Brand New Puppy!

Friday night, we drove down to Idaho and stayed with my parents.

Saturday afternoon, we drove to the puppy breeder and picked up our puppy!

My parents came with us, to see the puppy and take some pictures. As we walked into the house, she was sitting on the couch with a red bandanna around her neck. She looked absolutely adorable, and as Kevin entered, she became very excited.

We were the last family to pick up our puppy, and the other puppies had all been gone for a week. The breeders asked us if we had changed our mind, because they had gotten kind of attached to her, and informed us that, in their opinion, she was the very best of the female puppies.

That made us pretty happy, and we assured them that we hadn't changed our minds. The woman was especially sad to see her go, I think. She showed no shyness at all, and greeted Kevin with exuberant kisses. He immediately loved her.

She's a Norwegian elkhound. Grig's first dog was part Norwegian elkhound, and they later had a purebred one. We've been looking for one for a while, and are so grateful that we were able to find one. We really liked the breeders too. They seemed very responsible to us.

 My dad was kind and took the first three pictures (since in my excitement to rush in to see the puppy I had neglected to remove my camera from the car). We got the pup's vaccination record and some of its current brand of puppy food, and after visiting for a few minutes, left with our newest family member in tow.

She's adorable. She just turned eight weeks old.

Here's all of us!

Grig rode in the back with Kevin and the new puppy to help her stay in the box. We were worried she would be like Arkhon and get sick or nervous on the way home. She panted a bit, but after a few minutes, she laid down and went right to sleep. She slept most of the way home, and we only had to stop once to let her out for a restroom break. 

 We named her Siff. We'd been looking into Norwegian mythology, which naturally led us to Vikings and their gods. After looking through Norse female names, we found a couple we liked, but the name Sif (the wife of Thor) really stood out to us. We added an extra 'f' for personal reasons. I think it's super cute, and its seems to fit her. Allopex (Grig's brother) calls her our "Asgardian princess." It's nice to finally have another girl in the house again. We're still outnumbered, but at least I'm not alone anymore.

After a bit of a drive, we got home and I took her into the backyard to relieve herself. Then, we brought Arkhon out, who was a little bit overly energetic because he hadn't seen us in two days. Despite this, he and Siff got along great! Almost immediately, after she stopped being overwhelmed by his torpedo-like speed, they became the best of friends.

 Siff was a little stinky, so after we all played outside for a minute, we took her into the bathroom and gave her a bath. She wasn't a big fan, but she relaxed fairly quickly. She shivered after we took her out and we got her dry as quickly as possible.

 Arkhon is ecstatic. He loves having a new playmate. The stairs down from our deck were a little hard for her at first (expect some video of that), but Arkhon tried really hard to show her how. By the end of her second day, she was making it down the deck just fine. She still has trouble coming back up, but he's trying to help her with that too.

 This expression happened after I made my elephant imitation. She didn't run away, just cocked her head back and forth, trying to figure out what the noise was. She's not jumpy at all. She can be cautious, but she isn't frightened. She becomes curious instead. We really like that about her.

 She loves Arkhon. They play and play and play. Arkhon is super gentle with her. as long as he is aware she's around. He's occasionally knocked her over on accident, but she recovers quickly.

This is Kevin's favorite thing to do. He loves to pick her up. We have to limit it actually, because we want her to be able to walk around to. I think he loves feeling strong. She's very gentle with Kevin and very rarely bites him. I've always owned border collie crosses, and so it's nice to have a less-nippy puppy. She still explores with her mouth, but she doesn't want to bite his heels when she's chasing him. It fun to have a different set of instincts to work with.

So far, she's had a couple of accidents, but she's doing really well! Her crate training is going awesome, and last night, she only got up a couple of times.

We're pretty happy with her. She seems to be perfect for our family. We're trying to enjoy every moment her her puppy-hood, because with any luck, we won't have another puppy for the next 12-15+ years. We decided at the beginning of our marriage that two dogs was as many as we'd ever have. So, we're hoping Arkhon and Siff stay around for a long, long time.

A Surprising Twist

This could be considered part 5 of a series about our current struggle with Grig's job. If you want part four with links to the other three parts, follow this link to "Enduring Faith."

A few days ago, as I was struggling with my faith, I was reading the scriptures. I was reading a story in Alma, where a group of righteous people had been enslaved by the Lamanites. They hadn't done anything wrong, and they cried out to the Lord for Him to save them.

At first, the Lord just told them, in Mosiah 24:13 

And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

However, for a while they had to continue to suffer in bondage. The Lord made their burdens light, so they couldn't feel them, and then after a while, it says, in Mosiah 24:16:

And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage.

As I read that, I was floored by the word patience (which is why I bolded it). I hadn't noticed that word before. It wasn't just their faith that was great. They also had great patience to wait on the Lord's time.

I felt like that was my answer. The Lord was telling me that if I would wait in faith and patience, we would receive all the blessings we had been promised.

Yesterday, at church, we received some surprising news. We had been in contact with the seller of the Norwegian Elkhound that we had been looking at purchasing. We had felt good about telling him that we were going to come and get the puppy on Monday. We had also explained why we had been waiting so long, so he knew that if Grig didn't get the job that day, that we'd have to wait a little longer, but that we were definitely interested in getting the puppy.

However, yesterday morning, as we walked into church, Grig received a text that told us that the seller had sold the puppy the day before, and someone had just come to pick her up. She was gone.

For the first little while after that, we were baffled. When Grig showed me the text, the impression I got was, "This isn't the end; it's not over," and I felt a lot of peace. He also felt strangely peaceful about it. That didn't stop the barrage of questions and confusion that followed during Sacrament Meeting though.

From LDS.org, link to source

However, as I listened to the speakers, who spoke about Christ's love for us, I focused on what I did know, and made a list. It went something like this:

Faith

• The Lord doesn't lie
• He told Grig in the temple that we were going to get the job and the puppy
• I was told to trust in Grg. 
• I was told the Lord would deliver us if we had faith and patience.
• I felt good about Monday.
• Perhaps, we were told to wait so that we would get the right puppy from someone else, and if we weren't still open to it, we  would have missed the opportunity.

Grig looked at my list, and added:

• This may be another test for us and the owner of the puppies. Do we really want to be faithful, hopeful, and charitable?  

After church ended, I was feeling better, but I still didn't fully understand. I did feel however, that if we continued to have patience and faith that things would work out.

I told Grig's brother Allopex about what had happened. He told me he'd had a similar experience before, and he related it to me. He had received an answer that involved someone else, but because of the other person's choices, it hadn't happened. Afterward, he was confused, but the answer he'd received was something like: "Revelation doesn't change, but people can make their own choices."

I was grateful to him for sharing that. It eased my confusion. It is true that the Lord never forces people to do something. He always lets them make their own choices.

It's quite possible that we were meant to have this puppy, but because the seller reneged on our deal and sold it to someone else, that we aren't going to get this particular puppy. However, that doesn't invalidate the Lord's promise to us. The Lord doesn't lie, and I know that we will be guided to know what to do next.

We're just going to wait and see what happens in the next few days.

It should be exciting.

Enduring Faith

(This post is kind of a continuation of The Right Time and Relating to Sariah. If you want to read the first two parts of this story from our life journey, feel free to do so.)

Sometimes it's really hard to wait for things.

Grig has reached the end of his probationary period at his new job. He was told that in 90 days (or possibly sooner if they were really impressed), he would be given a review, and if they decide to keep him on, he will get a raise. If they don't, we need to look for a new job.

He's been stressed about it for the last few weeks. However, after a lot of praying, we feel like he's going to keep this job, and we just have to be patient.

It's been really hard...especially now that we've passed the 90 day mark. His direct supervisor has told him that he'll put in a good word for him, and that he's pretty sure he'll get the appointment. However, we haven't heard anything from his direct boss yet.

We've tried to wait patiently and keep having faith, but some days, it's been a real struggle for both of us (usually on alternating days) to keep having faith.

Tied to this appointment are quite a few things. Back when we were praying about getting a puppy, we were told that if the puppy was still there when Grig got the raise, that we could get it. We were told that about six weeks ago.

Then, about four weeks ago, Grig felt really strongly that he was going to get the job and that we were going to get the puppy. (Thus, what I was talking about in a previous blog.)

I haven't doubted too much that he'll get the job. He's a really hard, thorough worker. He's pretty amazing and is learning a lot of new things. However, sometimes I've had a hard time believing that the puppy was still going to be there.

Then, about a week and a half ago, when my faith was really wearing thin, I looked the puppy up online where we had first found it. Six hours before I looked, the sellers posted an updated picture of the little girl that we want with a reduced price. I was surprised to find that I was floored.

Here's a picture of the little girl that we're going to get

I had been unconsciously preparing myself for the worst, and on some level I was sure that she wasn't going to be available anymore. As I felt a rush of excitement flow through me, I began to pray and thank Heavenly Father for this bolster to my faith. As I was later contemplating this miracle, in my mind I heard the thought, "Oh ye of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?"

There are other things that we've had to have enduring faith with, and it was a good reminder not to doubt. One of those things is the fact that I've been told several times through personal revelation that our next baby is coming soon. It's been really hard to wait. The Lord's timing is perfect, and I'm really learning that. I just have to keep having faith even when it's difficult.

The Right Time

Currently, Grig and I are struggling with a decision. With the passing of Dakota last October, we've been contemplating getting a second dog. When we prayed about it before, we felt like we should wait until after Christmas.

Then, a few days after Christmas, a friend of ours had us keep their puppy for a few days. It was so neat to see how gentle Arkhon was with the puppy and to realize how much easier puppy training is when you have a backyard. It was really fun to hold their fluffy little guy and to play with him.

During the same time, I discovered I wasn't pregnant. That realization was especially heartbreaking this month.

So, with those two things combined, I began to look at puppies again.

For a long time, we've been looking for Norwegian Elkhound pups, but there are no breeders on this side of the United States. We had begun to give up on owning them anytime soon. However, the day after the puppy left, I discovered some elkhound pups for sale on in a nearby town.

The timing seemed miraculous. Grig was especially excited. His first dog was an elkhound cross, and he loves the breed. He immediately texted the seller, and we made an appointment to come out and see the pups.

We went and looked at them last night, and they were the most adorable, fluffy puppies I've ever seen!

This isn't the pups we saw, but it gives you an idea of what they looked like. 

They are only four weeks old right now, so we were mainly coming to see the facilities and meet the parents. We were pretty impressed with the family, and the mother and father elkhound had great temperaments!

The pups cost more that we really should be spending right now, but we could do it, if we felt it was right. Things have happened in such a way that it is hard for us to feel like finding these pups is just a coincidence.

We feel like this is the right breeder and the right parents, but we aren't sure if this is the right time or the right litter. We've been doing a lot of praying.

Mostly, we just want to make the right decision. We don't want to do something that's going to financially hurt us, but we also don't want to miss out on this opportunity if the Lord provided it.

Decisions can be hard sometimes.

Especially when they're this adorable.

Again, not the exact pups, but still very cute.