Prayers and Faith

We've been learning a lot of lessons lately as we've been waiting for prayers to be answered.

It's been over three years since we started trying to have a second child, and at times it has been heart-breaking and terrible. It has also taught us so much, and I'm so grateful for the lessons that I have learned.

One of the most recent lessons came from a friend of mine. She had gone through a similar experience, but in her case, she had to wait seven years for her second child! That's seems like such a long time. I know Abraham's wife, Sarah, had to wait even longer, and I can't even imagine. However, never once do we hear of her complaining or doubting.

Anyway, my friend told me, that when her son turned three, he decided he wanted a little sister, and every day for four years this little boy prayed for a sister. Never once did he ask why God hadn't answered his prayers. He just continued to pray in faith, knowing that the Lord would answer when the time was right. She told me that she learned a lot about prayer from her son.

I'm really grateful to her for sharing that experience with me, and hope that she doesn't mind that I have shared it on here. It made a big difference in my understanding of how to pray.

I think sometimes, I get impatient with the Lord. I think, "I'm ready now, please send the blessings!" and then nothing happens.

I'm learning, albeit slowly, to trust. It's one thing to tell myself that I know that God can do anything, and another thing to believe that His timing is perfect and trust in that. I'm realizing that faith without patience and trust, isn't really faith at all. It is me, showing Heavenly Father that I think I know better than Him. If I truly believe that He wants what's best for me, I also need to believe that He knows when is best for me.

Unlike my friend's son, I have doubted and struggled. Every month, it has seemed that I've gotten my hopes up, only to have disappointment spear through me like a knife.

I've struggled with knowing how to hope, while avoiding the pain of disappointment and continuing to pray faithfully for a child.

I know it is a righteous desire, and I have received confirmation that we will have another child from my Heavenly Father. I only need to have patience and trust that the child will come when he/she is supposed to.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' Bible dictionary, under the topic of prayer, it says:

As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

I love how it says that prayer is the "act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other." Some of the best prayers I've ever said are when I've asked Heavenly Father to help me know what to pray for. Then, when he has, my prayers sound different, and I know the things that are said will come to pass.

Sometimes it's hard to keep praying for things when it seems like the answers will never come, but by doing so, we show our faith and trust in Heavenly Father. It is difficult, but the more that I've been doing it, the more peace I've had inside that the promised blessings will come as I patiently hope and trust in Him and His timing.

I know that Heavenly Father wants what's best for me. As I strive to bend myself to His will, I become more like Him. The greatest blessings in my life have come as I've heeded His counsel and done my best to follow the promptings that I've received. I am so grateful for all He has given me, and I'm trying to remember to thank Him for the blessings I already have. If I'm not grateful for what I've been given, why would He give me more?

Gratitude Week: Mothers

Having discussed fathers, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the blessing that is mothers.

My mother is my hero.  I want to be as wonderful as she is.  She would tell me that she wants me to be better, but I have to shoot for something first.  She is so giving and selfless. 

My mother raised ten children and she did a magnificent job.  She made time for each and every one of us, and she always came to our events and supported us in what we chose to do.  She taught me about love and faith and steadfastness in adversity. 

She loves my father and treats him with respect.  They occasionally disagree, but I have never heard them argue. 

Now that she's a grandma, and she only has a couple kids left at home, she often baby-sits her grandchildren and she is always there when we need her assistance.  She'll drop anything for her children and she loves to serve others.

One time, I asked my mother what she was going to do when she didn't have any children left at home.  I imagined that she would say something like "Oh, read some books, relax, enjoy the quiet...etc."  However, what she actually said surprised me.  She told me, "I would like to serve in the community more.  I don't think I do enough."  That made me realize how far I have to go. 

Currently she has begun to help out more in the community.  She helps by playing piano for children's programs, setting up musicals, and creating costumes.  She is a homemaker to the fullest sense of the word, and though she received her degree as a nurse, she has spent her life being a mother.

My mother-in-law is also an amazing woman.  She has seven of her own children, and though there have been many difficulties in her life, she has done her best to make it work for her family.  She loves her children and adores her grandson (Kevin, he's the only one she has so far).  She has spent time and money to travel across the country to visit us and would do it more often if she could. 

She welcomed me into their family, and I've never had a "bad mother-in-law" experience.  Grig adores his mother and likes to listen to what she has to say.  She home-schooled most of her children and has tried to do what was best for them. 

I am trying to be a good mother like the wonderful women in my life.  Mothers, especially stay-at-home mothers, often don't receive any gratitude.  Single mothers also have it very difficult.  They are trying to raise their children and earn an income at the same time.  Not an easy task.

Children often simply expect the love and kindness that is so freely given, and never thank their mothers for the sacrifices that they make.  The house is cleaned, the cooking done, the dishes washed, and the laundry done and folded without any thanks.  Being a mother isn't always easy, but eventually we thank you for it.

It just takes us going through the same thing to realize all that you have done. 

We love you, mothers!  Thank you for all you do!

Gratitude Week: Children

Today I'm grateful for children.

Often today, society has told us that we should do what we want to do first, and then after that, if you still have time, maybe have one child. 

I believe that is false.  Children are the greatest joy any person can have.  Kevin has brought some frustration, yes, but that is so miniscule compared to the blessings that have come from having him.  Children are a lot of work, but they are such a great joy.  I want to have vacations WITH my children, not FROM my children.

When Grig and I got married, we made the decision together to not wait to have children.  We prayed about it, and we believed that it was the right thing to do.  Every set of parents should make that decision between them and the Lord and do it when it feels right.  For us it was the right time, right away.  Kevin came just slightly over nine months after we were married. 

Things have worked out.  We had enough money to pay off our hospital bills completely, and we haven't really struggled since.  I know that was a blessing from God because we obeyed his commandment to 'multiply and replenish the earth.'  It is a commandment that has never been revoked. 

Kevin is such a joy.  He has a smile that just lights up my life.  He is so adventurous and happy.  Every day he learns new things, and sometimes I learn them with him. 

I have five wonderful, living nieces and a nephew.   Each of them is a joy to be around, and I am so happy that Kevin has wonderful cousins to play with. 

Grig and I would like more children, and we're letting it happen in the Lord's time.  Kevin will be a wonderful older brother.  He has a lot of love to give.  Sometimes, too much love for the dog and she has to go hide. 

He is intelligent and caring. He loves to make us laugh.  I'm pretty sure his purpose in this life is to bring joy to those around him.  I can't wait for him to grow up and for us to become friends, so I can get to know him as the incredible adult that he is going to be.  However, I am enjoying the time I have with him now and I don't want to miss a single moment. 

I have wanted to be a mother my whole life.  I got a college degree, but right now I am living my dream.  Kevin is all I could have hoped for, and I love him with all my heart. 

I understand that some people are unable to have children that desperately want them, and my heart breaks for these parents.  Know that we are thinking of you and praying that your dreams will come true as well. 

I'm grateful for children.  Teaching them is my profession and raising them is my dream.  Their innocence brings joy into my life, and I love the way the world becomes simple in their eyes.  May we all work to preserve their innocence and teach them to be responsible, hard-working, loving adults.

My little drummer boy

Gratitude Week: Fathers

Today, I want to express my gratitude for fathers.

Often in today's society, fathers are either completely absent in media, or they act like complete morons.  My father was neither.  He was a dedicated man who provided for his wife and children.  He tried to spend as much time as possible with us, and he is a respected man in the community.

I never wondered if my father loved me.  I knew it.  One of my favorite memories with my father is driving to a nearby town, just me and him.  Our alone time was precious to me, and I cherished our conversation together.

In discipline, he was firm, but loving.  He treated my mother like a priceless gift and wouldn't tolerate any disrespect toward her.  When they drive on car trips, they hold hands, and he often opens and closes doors for her.

He would make us laugh until we cried and he loved to watch movies with us.

Grig's father is equally wonderful.  I've only known him for a relatively short time, but he has worked hard his whole life to provide for his family.  He often travels to far distant countries to care for their cattle so his family can have enough money to live off of.  He loves his children, and constantly prays and worries for them.

He has taught his children a love and respect for nature, and how to be self-sufficient.

Both of our fathers dearly love their grandson, Kevin.  They look forward to his visiting and enjoy watching him on our (near) weekly skypes.  They take pride in his accomplishments, and love him as the special little boy he is.

Grig is also a dedicated husband and father.  He loves to spend time with me and Kevin.  He sometimes takes time off of work to do so (link to that blog here) and never regrets his actions.  It's important to him that Kevin and I know how much he loves us.  He works currently 66+ hours a week to provide for us, and wants to be the best person he can be.

At night, the three of us play in the bed and he makes Kevin laugh so hard he gets hiccups.  Grig always tries to do the right thing, and he is a dedicated and loyal husband.  I trust him and love him with all of my heart in the knowledge that he would never do anything to hurt me.

He holds open doors for me, looks for ways to make my life easier, and carries heavy things so I don't have to (which has taken some getting used to, because I am highly independent).  He treats me like royalty.  He protects me, which also has taken some getting used to.  He is a true man in every sense of the word, and he has helped me discover my own sense of womanhood.

Kevin loves his father and is always thrilled when he comes home.

Fathers are necessary in our society.  Not just fathers in name, but also in action.  One lady made a really profound comment on Sunday, which I wanted to repeat.

She said: Children need fathers.  If that need is not fulfilled in a healthy way, they will find a way to fulfill it which may not be as healthy.  They may find other young people who are not the best examples to take the place of a real father.

It's true.  Fathers are not optional.  Children need to learn the things that only fathers can teach them.  Some people don't have the opportunity to have fathers in their homes through no fault of their own. However, then the community can step in and help provide good male role-models for these children.  It's not quite the same, but it goes a long way.

I'm so grateful for fathers.  I'm grateful for my earthly father (and father-in-law) and for my Eternal Father.  Here is a beautiful video that I'd recommend you go watch about fathers.

On this Thanksgiving week, I want to express my thanks to fathers everywhere.  Maybe society doesn't respect you or thank you as you deserve, but your children and your grandchildren will be grateful for the sacrifices that you make for them.

Fathers, thank you.  I'm so grateful for you and all you do.

Mormon Monday: Gratitude

This week is Thanksgiving!  So, I thought I would tell you the LDS doctrine on gratitude.

We believe that God expects us to show him our gratitude.  In one scripture, it says:

Doctrine and Covenants: 59:21 And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

Heavenly Father gives us everything.  However, often we are like ungrateful, entitled children.  We believe that we DESERVE blessings and that God should give them to us simply because we want them.  Luckily for us, God doesn't work that way.

He has complete and perfect knowledge of the best way to parent each of us.  He knows when we should wait for things, He knows when we need them immediately.  It is simply our responsibility to recognize the blessings from our Heavenly Father and thank him for them.

HIis goal in this life is for all of us to reach perfection.  Trials and conflicts make us grow.  For my post on why bad things happen, click here.  Our Heavenly Father doesn't let anything happen without a reason.  

Often we are blessed beyond our wildest dreams and when that happens, we often forget to thank the one who caused it to happen. 

There is an old story I know of.  A man was working on his roof one day, when he suddenly felt himself slipping.  Knowing that if he fell, he would tumble to his death, he quickly prayed, "God save me!"

As he went off the edge, his shirt caught on a nail and he stuck.  He breathed a sigh of relief, looked back up at the sky and said, "Never mind, Lord, I saved myself."

There is another scripture I love.  It's a King talking to his people about why they should be grateful to God. It says: 

Mosiah 2:19-25

19 And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!

 20 I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—

 21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

 22 And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

 23 And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him.

 24 And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?

 25 And now I ask, can ye say aught of yourselves? I answer you, Nay. Ye cannot say that ye are even as much as the dust of the earth; yet ye were created of the dust of the earth; but behold, it belongeth to him who created you.

 I love this because it is so true!  We get everything from the Lord, and no matter what we do to try and serve him, he just blesses us more.  We are eternally in His debt.  

This week I'm going to be posting blogs about things I am grateful the Lord gave me.  I have so much in my life, and often I am always looking toward the future and saying, "Oh, when this happens, I'll be happier."

I should be happier today.  I have so many blessings and so few troubles.  I need to let the Lord know that I have recognized His hand in my life, and I am grateful for it.