Why I Like Daniel Tiger

As a mother of a toddler, I am watching shows that I would have had previously no interest in.

One of these is Daniel Tiger.

I watched Mr. Rogers neighborhood growing up, and loved it, but Kevin is really into the "spin-off" cartoon series about Daniel Tiger.

I don't have very many problems with it. I find it far less annoying the 90% of the other kid shows out there. It's pretty cute, teaches good moral lessons, and has catchy songs that get stuck in your head.

However, one of the things that I like about it most, is the way that it portrays the Tiger family, especially Daniel's father.

In most television shows today, fathers are either entirely absent, or incompetent. The father is usually portrayed as a bumbling idiot and used for laughs, or he is a complete jerk. However, Daniel Tiger is different. In this kid show, the mother and father work together and play with their son. They make mistakes, and occasionally get upset with him, but they use themselves as examples of how to deal with the negative emotions.

For me, I find it the most realistic version of parenthood I have seen yet.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that many families are not the ideal. Many people struggle with situations they can't control, divorces are rampant, and there are many vile men and women who ruin their spouse's and their children's lives.

However, not everyone is like that. When we don't allow children to see the ideal, how can they strive for that?

This post isn't meant to make those who don't have the ideal feel bad. I really empathize, though I am amazed and in awe at how single parent's take care of their children all by themselves. They have my deepest respect. I don't know how you do it alone.

I was one of the lucky ones. I have a fantastic father and a marvelous mother. I never heard them fight, though they did disagree. They aren't perfect, but they do their best and they love each other and each of their children. My grandparents on both sides are also incredible people. They've both been married over 50 years.

I met a man at one point in my life who would believe that. When I told him how long my parents had been married, he told me that I couldn't possibly be telling the truth. Marriages only lasted ten years or less. When I then told him about my grandparents, he was literally stunned. I was just as shocked by his mindset. I didn't know how good I had it.

I am currently in a relationship with an phenomenal man: my husband, Grig. We disagree, but we don't fight. We have extremely good communication and are able to talk through things that are bothering us before it spirals out of control. I am so grateful for that. I hate confrontation, and though I can't always avoid that, I am so happy that we are able to work through it.

He is my everything, and so it hurts me when fathers are so poorly represented.

In the 1995 document, The Family: A Proclamation to the World, church leaders from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said the following:

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

I believe that this document was given from God. Fathers and mothers are necessary to achieve the ideal setting for raising children. Only working together as equal partners will allow them to achieve that setting.

The more that time goes on, the more it seems that the world is telling children how unnecessary fathers are. What do little boys have to look forward to, if all they see of fathers is idiocy? Why would they even want to become a parent?

So, Kevin can keep watching Daniel Tiger for as long as he wants to.

I kind of like it.

Kevin drew this picture of Daniel Tiger. I think it's amazing.

Mormon Monday: Fatherhood

We're back!

I'll start posting information about our trip starting tomorrow, but today I wanted to get back to the normal schedule and talk about fathers, since I missed Father's Day.

On one of the last days of our trip, we were sitting in a hotel room flipping through channels. We don't have a television at our house, so we were trying to see if anything was worth watching.

For having so many channels, there really wasn't anything worth watching until we got to an episode of the Twilight Zone. It was the old version, and I'd never seen it before, but Grig recognize it. We watched it, and I rather enjoyed it.

After it finished, we didn't change the channel and a commercial came on for an old western. In the commercial a young boy was talking to his manly-looking, cowboy father, and the father made the comment, "There's no place I'd rather be than with you."

As I heard those words, the thought hit me that fathers haven't been portrayed that way in years. In general, fathers are portrayed as idiotic, absent, or abusive. It is very rare anymore that a father is seen as a vital part of a family.

 My husband, Grig, is a huge part of our family. I have chosen to be a stay-at-home mother, and I love it. I love teaching my son all the time and seeing him grow and develop. I can't imagine leaving him to the care of anyone else. Obviously not everyone has the opportunity to raise their child this way, but I'm so grateful that I have been able to.

This would not be possible if Grig wasn't an amazing provider. He worries about making enough money and spending time with us. Early on in our marriage, we discussed what kind of career he wanted to have and he impressed on me that the most important thing to him was to spend time with his wife and children. He wanted to have a good job, but not at the cost of never seeing us.

We've been blessed with a good job and we've been able to spend time together. We try to have a weekly date night away from Kevin, and constantly try to strengthen our love for each other and our son.

According to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, fathers and mothers have very important roles in the family. A while ago, the church issued a document called, "The Family: A Proclamation to the World."

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

Though the proclamation states that fathers are to provide the necessities of life, it emphasizes that in these responsibilities, "fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." As Grig and I have tried to live by these principles, we've found ways to encourage and aid one another in our responsibilities. Every family needs to seek the Lord's guidance as they determine how the Lord wants them to individual adapt.

For those who no longer have husbands or fathers on this earth, I encourage you to turn to your Heavenly Father. He loves us more than we can possibly understand. I have felt a tiny bit of His love for me, and it was almost more than I could handle. The Lord wants what is best for us and our families, and as we try to live our lives in the way He wants us to, we will experience happiness and peace in these turbulent times.

Fathers are an essential part of the family. I can't imagine what my life would be like without my husband and my father. I have learned so much from them. However, if something were to happen to them, I know my Heavenly Father would continue to guide me.

We are not alone. There are others around us who the Lord sends to help us. We are not meant to go through this life alone, and if we put aside our pride and really try to listen, our Heavenly Father will guide us to a better path.

I'm still learning to listen. It is a life-long journey and sometimes it can seem difficult. What I want and what the Lord wants doesn't always mesh. However, when I heed my Father in Heaven, I am always happier and I end up right where I am supposed to be.

Earthly fathers can be imperfect, but our Heavenly Father will never let us down.

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. Know that you are needed, loved, and appreciated. The impact, good or bad, that you make on your families will last for generations. Try to be the kind of father that your children will try to emulate, and spend time with your family while they are young.

Grig and Kevin are best friends, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Gratitude Week: Fathers

Today, I want to express my gratitude for fathers.

Often in today's society, fathers are either completely absent in media, or they act like complete morons.  My father was neither.  He was a dedicated man who provided for his wife and children.  He tried to spend as much time as possible with us, and he is a respected man in the community.

I never wondered if my father loved me.  I knew it.  One of my favorite memories with my father is driving to a nearby town, just me and him.  Our alone time was precious to me, and I cherished our conversation together.

In discipline, he was firm, but loving.  He treated my mother like a priceless gift and wouldn't tolerate any disrespect toward her.  When they drive on car trips, they hold hands, and he often opens and closes doors for her.

He would make us laugh until we cried and he loved to watch movies with us.

Grig's father is equally wonderful.  I've only known him for a relatively short time, but he has worked hard his whole life to provide for his family.  He often travels to far distant countries to care for their cattle so his family can have enough money to live off of.  He loves his children, and constantly prays and worries for them.

He has taught his children a love and respect for nature, and how to be self-sufficient.

Both of our fathers dearly love their grandson, Kevin.  They look forward to his visiting and enjoy watching him on our (near) weekly skypes.  They take pride in his accomplishments, and love him as the special little boy he is.

Grig is also a dedicated husband and father.  He loves to spend time with me and Kevin.  He sometimes takes time off of work to do so (link to that blog here) and never regrets his actions.  It's important to him that Kevin and I know how much he loves us.  He works currently 66+ hours a week to provide for us, and wants to be the best person he can be.

At night, the three of us play in the bed and he makes Kevin laugh so hard he gets hiccups.  Grig always tries to do the right thing, and he is a dedicated and loyal husband.  I trust him and love him with all of my heart in the knowledge that he would never do anything to hurt me.

He holds open doors for me, looks for ways to make my life easier, and carries heavy things so I don't have to (which has taken some getting used to, because I am highly independent).  He treats me like royalty.  He protects me, which also has taken some getting used to.  He is a true man in every sense of the word, and he has helped me discover my own sense of womanhood.

Kevin loves his father and is always thrilled when he comes home.

Fathers are necessary in our society.  Not just fathers in name, but also in action.  One lady made a really profound comment on Sunday, which I wanted to repeat.

She said: Children need fathers.  If that need is not fulfilled in a healthy way, they will find a way to fulfill it which may not be as healthy.  They may find other young people who are not the best examples to take the place of a real father.

It's true.  Fathers are not optional.  Children need to learn the things that only fathers can teach them.  Some people don't have the opportunity to have fathers in their homes through no fault of their own. However, then the community can step in and help provide good male role-models for these children.  It's not quite the same, but it goes a long way.

I'm so grateful for fathers.  I'm grateful for my earthly father (and father-in-law) and for my Eternal Father.  Here is a beautiful video that I'd recommend you go watch about fathers.

On this Thanksgiving week, I want to express my thanks to fathers everywhere.  Maybe society doesn't respect you or thank you as you deserve, but your children and your grandchildren will be grateful for the sacrifices that you make for them.

Fathers, thank you.  I'm so grateful for you and all you do.