Drawings of Our Family

Kevin went to stay with his great grandparents' yesterday while Grig and I went to the temple.

It was really nice, and Kevin was pretty cute when we returned to pick him up. He had been very well-behaved, and he was excited to show us some pictures that he had drawn.

Here is the first picture. I was pretty impressed. It looked like it had been drawn by a much older child.

I looked at the animal on the bottom, and I said, "Kevin, did you draw that? That is a fantastic pig!"

Kevin was a little offended and told me, "That's Siff!"

Of course. What was I thinking? It looks just like her. 

(Grig told me he would have guessed it was a pig too.) Kevin was so proud. It really is an awesome picture. Then, he showed us the next picture. 

I labeled this one based upon his explanation. I let him tell me what this picture was before I made any assumptions. See? I learn from my mistakes. 

It's such a good family picture. Our little guy is becoming quite the artist. 

Turning 30

This month I had my 30th birthday. I am officially three decades old. Or, as I prefer to say, one score and a decade.

I think I'm now officially in the prime of my life. That's what I've heard anyway.

For my birthday, we were able to go up and visit with my family. We had a good time and threw a baby shower for one of my sisters. My parents then took me out to Texas Roadhouse, which was amazing. I wouldn't mind making that a tradition.

I'm not where I thought I would be at 30, but I have very little to complain about. I thought I would have six kids by now, but instead I have an amazing son who says the sweetest things to me.

The other day, he became upset when his dad offered to share a strawberry with him. He began to cry, and we just figured he didn't want to share. However, he finally managed to say, "But if we eat the strawberry, Mommy won't get one!"

It melted my heart. He is such a sweet, little guy. I can't believe how old he is getting. In the morning, he lets the dogs out and is becoming such a good helper. Today he helped me clean out the fridge.

This is an amazing picture that I took. I just wanted to say that.

We have a home and two amazing dogs. We were watching a video the other day about some kids who wanted a puppy. The whole episode was about how much responsibility puppies are. I turned to Kevin and asked, "Are puppies hard or easy?"

He said, "Easy."

He loves his dogs

I laughed and said, "Yes, our dogs are easy, but that's only because we've put a lot of hard work into them."

Here's the dogs right after a bath. Aren't they beautiful? Hopefully Loki will be able to return to his family soon.

My life right now revolves around my son and that makes me happy. When people asked me what I wanted to do for a career, I'd tell them, but my deepest desire was always to be a mom of a big family. I don't know why we've had to wait so long for more children, but I am learning to trust in my Heavenly Father's plan for us.

As far as Foster Care goes, we've been waiting on bureaucracy. There's a lot of paperwork that has to be processed, and there is a checklist that we have to turn in before the home inspection can happen. There were a couple of items that we weren't able to afford until now, so we couldn't turn the checklist in.

So, I don't know if we are waiting on them or if they are waiting on us, but either way, we are still waiting.

It's been nice to enjoy some time with my husband and son though. We're really grown closer together over the last couple of months.

I don't feel any different at 30, but I have high hopes for this year. I think it's going to be a good one.

We also celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary this month. It's hard to believe that we've been married half of a decade. It's been the best experience of my life. I love being married and having a best friend who is with me through the trials and the blessings. My husband exceeds my expectations every day, and though we don't always agree, we are always willing to work through it.

Who sleeps like this?

I set some new goals this weekend, so hopefully I can continue to improve. I'm facing a new decade, so it will be exciting to see what I can accomplish.

Next Door Neighbors

I remember the night they moved into the house next door.

I was only four, but the memory of meeting them that night stands out as one of the clearest from my early childhood. We quickly were introduced and we quickly became friends. For privacy, I won't mention their names, but they became more than just our next door neighbors, they pretty much became family.

Their oldest child was my age, and for every child that was born into our family after that, one was born into their family too. We played together nearly every day, and we played and fought like siblings. We owned a cat together, that we named Bobcat, and played with many litters of her kittens. The boy who was my age was my close friend, but also my rival. We competed over everything. He helped me to push myself to become a better person.

As the years passed, our families became inseparable. As our family grew larger, we ended up moving into a bigger house that still had an adjoining backyard. When we built a fence around it, my dad built a gate between our yards so that we could still have unlimited access to play with each other.

My childhood memories involve our neighbors nearly as much as my own family. I can't begin to express how much each and everyone of them blessed my life. I love talking to the father and mother of this family. They are still close friends and confidants of mine.

One time, in high school, there was a Valentine's Day Dance on my birthday. I wasn't really expecting to be asked, and so I'd already steeled myself to accept the fact that I was going to celebrate it at home with my family.

On the way home from school a few days later, the next door neighbor, who was my age, asked me if I wanted to go to the dance. I thought he was just speaking generally, so I responded, "No, I was just going to stay home and celebrate my birthday."

The next day, the institute secretary told me that she had heard a rumor that this boy had asked me on a date and I had turned him down. I thought it was hilarious. I had no idea how a rumor like that could have been started. So, when I saw the young man later, I walked up to him and said, "You wouldn't believe what I heard today! I heard that you asked me to the dance, and I turned you down."

Completely straight-faced, he turned to me and said, "You did."

After some explanation, we got the situation figured out. I discovered that he had meant, "Do you want to go to the dance with me?" I apologized and he offered to take me to the dance. I had a wonderful time.

He even gave me a birthday present, a small book light that I still carry in my purse.

I don't think I've every told him how much that date meant to me. It really made me feel loved, and is one of my more treasured high school memories.

After I graduated from high school, I was saddened to learn that these neighbors had moved out of town to a beautiful home on a farm. The block just hasn't been the same since they left. When I go home, it's like a part of my family is missing. However, sometimes I am still able to visit with them, and I cherish those moments that we can talk and reminisce.

As I've thought about what I want for my own family, I've realized that I want next door neighbors just like I had growing up. I want Kevin to have best friends next door that he can just run and play with and that I don't have to worry about.

I want for him to have what I did. We have wonderful neighbors now, but no one around us is exactly Kevin's age. Though he has wonderful friends in our neighborhood, and we are so grateful for them, it's not quite the same.

I was super blessed to grow up with the neighbors that we had. I know most people don't have the same experience that I did growing up, but it was one of the things that I loved about my childhood.

I want everyone to have friendly neighbors, and for me to be the kind of neighbor that I had. I want kids to feel free to come into my home whenever they want and hang out. I want people to know that if they need help, they can come and not feel bad about asking for it.

I want those kind of childhood memories to exist for Kevin. Hopefully, we can continue growing closer to our neighbors, so that we can foster those same kind of relationships.

That's one of the things that I really want for my children.

So Much Snow

At the beginning of this year, I may have said something like, "I hope this year we get ten feet of snow in one storm so we have to dig our way out of the front door!"

We may not have gotten quite that much snow, but last I heard we were up to 54 inches (total this year), and we're supposed to get some more in the next couple of days.

It's been awesome. For once, the reservoirs are full, and it looks like we'll have plenty of water for the next year. It's also been fun to play in. We've been sledding a few times, but this whole winter, Kevin has been wanting to make a snowman. However, even after all the snow, it wasn't until last week that we were able to do so.

On Saturday, we went out and shoveled and played in the snow for a while. The snow was finally the right consistency.

We built a snowman together. Grig made the base, I made the middle, and Kevin made the head. It turned out pretty cute.

We had rocks for eyes, a carrot nose, and sticks for the mouth and arms. Then, we stuck pieces of evergreen in the snowman for buttons. It's pretty cute and still out there, though it has about a foot more of snow on top of it now.

Then, Grig wanted to make something else, so he rolled a huge snowball. Kevin wanted to roll his own huge snowball too. I think Grig had something in mind, like building a fort, but Kevin insisted he wanted his snowball on top of Grig's. So, they ended up with this:

Meanwhile, I built a snow dog for our snow man. I think the dog turned out pretty cute too.

Not as cute as the real ones, though.

Loki has been staying with us for a little while. His owners have had some problems with their heating, so until their home has heat again, Loki is staying with us. They've been having a great time together. Siff likes having someone around with a longer coat. Loki likes going outside to play more than Arkhon does.

After we finished crafting our snow sculptures, Kevin made himself a snow angel. He really likes doing that. You have to wait for the right kind of snow for snowmen, but almost any kind of snow is good for snow angels.

So, we're staring to get tired of shoveling, but overall, we've still had some good times with the snow. When we can, Kevin, the dogs, and I still go walking. The sidewalks are missing, but the road is pretty decent most days, so we walk on the road.

For those of you who want an update on foster care, I e-mailed them the other day to see how things were progressing. I guess they mailed us a form so they can get our background checks done in Idaho too (since we've lived there within the last 5 years). Other than that, he said that everything is in.

Now, we're just waiting for that piece of mail to arrive while we keep fixing things up around the house in preparation for our home inspection. We're getting pretty close. I attached the bookshelves to the walls today, and we made a baby gate upstairs. I think it turned out pretty awesome.

I love it.

Trial Denial

For some reason, if you ask me what trials I've experienced in my life, I can think of very few. It's like my brain represses most bad things that have occurred. There are a few trials that stick out, but in my mind, I've had a pretty wonderful life.

Lately, things have been hard. 

We've had some death and sicknesses in the family. We've been pretty low on money, and it hurts that we still haven't been able to become pregnant. 

However, it wasn't until about a week ago that I was willing to admit that we're going through some trials right now. That's when I realized that I have trial denial. 

In my brain, I would look at the hard things that we're going through and think, "Compared to what's happening to other people, this isn't so bad." We've also been blessed in a lot of wonderful ways, and so I tend to push aside the bad things and try to focus on the good. 

I don't think that focusing on the good is wrong, but this state of mind also makes it so I don't realize when I am experiencing stress. Sometimes, I have no idea I'm stressed out until the stress is gone and I realize how much better I feel. 

Trial denial has its benefits. I'm usually a pretty happy person, and as long as I pretend that things aren't really hard, I can go on being happy. 

However, it's not really healthy either. It's okay to acknowledge that things are hard sometimes, and that we need help; whether its emotional, physical, or mental. When I'm stressed and don't realize it, I tend to have less patience and to be less productive. My brain wants to keep pretending that everything is okay, and so I start looking for ways to distract myself from my problems. Those ways usually involve reading too much or watching too much tv. 

I've spent a lot of my life burying sadness and anger. I would try not to show any emotion besides happiness in front of other people. Sometimes it's still hard for me to show those emotions even in front of my husband. However, when we are able to talk honestly and openly about our trials and our feelings, we are stronger as a couple and closer. 

Confirming that we are going through some hard things right now wasn't easy for me to do, but it was good for me. Even though our trials are not that big compared to other people's trials, they are still something that we are struggling with, and they are hard for us. 

The first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have a problem. 

We have some trials in our lives right now, but I know that with the Lord's help, we can fix them, and things will be okay. We've had a lot of comfort and peace and I know that the Lord is there. We've also seen a lot of miracles, and we know that the Lord is helping us out. 

Prayer is so important. If we trust in the Lord, and pray for the things that He wants us to pray for, amazing things can, and will, happen.

I'm so grateful for Grig. One of the best parts of our relationship has always been our communication. While we had his brothers living with us, that was sometimes hard to have. Now that they have moved out, our communication has improved again, and we have drawn closer together as a couple. We are grateful for what his brothers taught us and for the time we were able to spend with them, but I am so grateful that I have a chance to reconnect with my husband before we start foster care. 

I know that that's going to be a wonderful mixture of trials and blessings too.