Sometimes You Just Need a Nap

Yesterday began pretty well.

I've been trying to figure out how to help Grig get more sleep. After praying about it, I realized that the best way for me to help Grig get to bed on time, is to get up with him in the morning. If I have to get up early to, it's easier to remember to go to bed.

So, Monday I didn't do very well, because Kevin got sick and kept me up a lot of the night.

However, Tuesday, I was able to get up. Unfortunately, so was Kevin. After struggling to get him to go back to sleep from 5:30 a.m. until 7:30 a.m., we finally just got up. Kevin and I were both pretty tired by nighttime.

Yesterday, went a lot better. I got up, Kevin kept sleeping, and Grig got out the door on time. I was able to work on my story, and Kevin slept until 8:30 a.m. It seemed like it was going to be a great day.

Then, after a little while, Kevin spilled his potty all over the bathroom floor (one of my least favorite things). Then, after I picked that up, I found out I had made a mistake on my taxes that I had to fix. That took a while, so, I was tired and grumpy and poor Kevin wasn't getting the attention that he needed.

Finally, after lunch, while Kevin was watching Winnie the Pooh, I decided to take a nap.

Sometimes you just need a nap.

Afterward, I felt a million times better, and today is going better too.

We're not doing that much better at going to bed on time, but we are doing better at getting up.

We just have to try harder every day.

Meanwhile, I'm much happier when I'm giving Kevin the attention he needs, and not being a grumpy mom. He was a good sport about it, even though he's had a cold, and I apologized later to him. He is a pretty awesome kid. 

I sure am grateful for the many wonderful things in my life. 

Why I Like Daniel Tiger

As a mother of a toddler, I am watching shows that I would have had previously no interest in.

One of these is Daniel Tiger.

I watched Mr. Rogers neighborhood growing up, and loved it, but Kevin is really into the "spin-off" cartoon series about Daniel Tiger.

I don't have very many problems with it. I find it far less annoying the 90% of the other kid shows out there. It's pretty cute, teaches good moral lessons, and has catchy songs that get stuck in your head.

However, one of the things that I like about it most, is the way that it portrays the Tiger family, especially Daniel's father.

In most television shows today, fathers are either entirely absent, or incompetent. The father is usually portrayed as a bumbling idiot and used for laughs, or he is a complete jerk. However, Daniel Tiger is different. In this kid show, the mother and father work together and play with their son. They make mistakes, and occasionally get upset with him, but they use themselves as examples of how to deal with the negative emotions.

For me, I find it the most realistic version of parenthood I have seen yet.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that many families are not the ideal. Many people struggle with situations they can't control, divorces are rampant, and there are many vile men and women who ruin their spouse's and their children's lives.

However, not everyone is like that. When we don't allow children to see the ideal, how can they strive for that?

This post isn't meant to make those who don't have the ideal feel bad. I really empathize, though I am amazed and in awe at how single parent's take care of their children all by themselves. They have my deepest respect. I don't know how you do it alone.

I was one of the lucky ones. I have a fantastic father and a marvelous mother. I never heard them fight, though they did disagree. They aren't perfect, but they do their best and they love each other and each of their children. My grandparents on both sides are also incredible people. They've both been married over 50 years.

I met a man at one point in my life who would believe that. When I told him how long my parents had been married, he told me that I couldn't possibly be telling the truth. Marriages only lasted ten years or less. When I then told him about my grandparents, he was literally stunned. I was just as shocked by his mindset. I didn't know how good I had it.

I am currently in a relationship with an phenomenal man: my husband, Grig. We disagree, but we don't fight. We have extremely good communication and are able to talk through things that are bothering us before it spirals out of control. I am so grateful for that. I hate confrontation, and though I can't always avoid that, I am so happy that we are able to work through it.

He is my everything, and so it hurts me when fathers are so poorly represented.

In the 1995 document, The Family: A Proclamation to the World, church leaders from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said the following:

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

I believe that this document was given from God. Fathers and mothers are necessary to achieve the ideal setting for raising children. Only working together as equal partners will allow them to achieve that setting.

The more that time goes on, the more it seems that the world is telling children how unnecessary fathers are. What do little boys have to look forward to, if all they see of fathers is idiocy? Why would they even want to become a parent?

So, Kevin can keep watching Daniel Tiger for as long as he wants to.

I kind of like it.

Kevin drew this picture of Daniel Tiger. I think it's amazing.

"They're Stuck in the Closet!"

On Sunday,we had some friends over for dinner. We are going to call them the Trebuchet family. They are the owners of Arkhon's brother, Loki.

Everything was going well, when suddenly the oldest of the children came running upstairs. We're going to call her Joan.

"They're stuck in the closet!" she said, sounding quite alarmed.

Instantly, I was a bit irritated. Kevin was playing with the middle daughter, Florence. I had already told the kids that they weren't supposed to go into the brother-in-laws' rooms when they weren't downstairs. So, I ran downstairs, ready to chastise the children about making bad choices.

However, when we got to the bottom of the stairs, the oldest girl turned the opposite direction that I was expecting. Instead of turning toward the bedrooms, she turned toward the playroom.

So, then I thought, "Oh, no! They're stuck under the stairs." However, my guide continued past that closet too.

Now, I was confused, and my annoyance had completely faded away.

"What closet are they locked in?" I asked Joan.

She pointed to the entertainment center and I saw the doors begin to shake.

I busted up laughing.

You have to understand, our entertainment center is full of toys, and in the year that we've owned it, Kevin has never climbed into it. I hadn't even thought about him doing that.

My laughter brought everyone from upstairs, and this is what they found:

Picture is used with permission from parents'. However, I was told to give them awesome names. Hopefully the ones I picked are adequate. :)

Kevin and Florence had climbed into the top shelf by using the drawers as stairs. It's amazing what kids come up with when they work together.

Anyway, after I stopped laughing, I went and got the camera and took some pictures.

It was pretty awesome.

Arkhon got to play with his brother too. They sure have grown:

Then.

Now.

Today, Kevin asked me if he could climb into the cupboard again. I told him not right now, but he sure enjoyed it the other night.

He never wanted to come out.

I Kind of Love Doing Taxes and This Week's Highlights

So, I realized something pretty funny about me today.

We finally got our last W-2 in the mail, which I have been looking forward to for days, and I quickly ran inside and began to plug in numbers.

We've been babysitting kids all week, and so it's been kind of crazy around here. So, for fun today, I finished my taxes.

When Grig came home, we looked them over together, prayed about it, and then submitted them. This year we're using Turbo Tax. It tends to be more user friendly than some others that I've worked with before. It's also free as long as your using just the standard deduction.

It was nice to get done, but I realized that I look forward to taxes every year. I don't just look forward to the refund (though that is nice too), but I also look forward to just plugging in the numbers.

I used to think I hated math. I used to think that math was lame and wasn't any fun at all. Only since I've been married have I realized that I don't hate math. I actually really like working with numbers, especially when they have real-life application (like money).

Taxes were a little tricky this year, since it's the first year that we've owned a home, but all-in-all, I think it went pretty well, and I'm happy to have it submitted.

Kevin has been having a great time with friends this week. One of his friends has been staying with us for a few days, and it's been fun to experiment with having two children. Of course, it's a little different because I'm used to the way that Kevin works, but it was still fun. She and Kevin had a lot of fun playing (and fighting, occasionally) together.

Here are some of the highlights from this week:

On the first day, we made puppets. I printed off black and white pictures of Elsa and Superman and the kids colored them. Then we taped them onto straws as puppets. We also did a cat and a dog for each kid. They loved it, and had a great time. 

 We tried to go outside at least once every day. We would alternated between playing in the front yard, and playing in the backyard. One night, we were still playing when Grig got home, and he was able to join us!

 They loved having him pull them around in the sled.

Arkhon loves being outside with everyone too, though he gets cold quickly. 

I built this shelter out of stray branches in the yard. The kids enjoyed helping me create it. I'm hoping that it will snow and cover it in a good thick layer so it will end up more like an igloo. 

 We celebrated Havelock's birthday. We all had a good time and enjoyed meatloaf. (Havelock loves my meatloaf, so I always make it for him for his birthday.)

 After playing for hours, we'd go downstairs for lunch and have a picnic on the basement floor while we watched a movie. They were pretty cute together. I have some other cute pictures of the two of them, but since she isn't my child, I didn't feel like I could show her full face. She is a cutie though.

Arkhon and Kevin like to relax together. Arkhon was exhausted by all the playing and just wanted to take a nap. The kids were having a hard time leaving him alone, but eventually he got his nap.

We've been playing and working hard. Hopefully next week is a little less crazy, but we never know. Sometimes things just keep coming up!

And sadly, I have to wait another whole year to do my taxes again.

;)

Why I Think Everyone Shouldn't Win

This is an opinion post. I'm going to say that up front. This comes from my little, old brain, and you have every right to disagree with me.

Over the last few days, I've been tending some different groups of kids. It's been really good for Kevin, because he's really enjoyed the company and because he's having to share.

The thing is, I have a hard time with sharing sometimes. They are, strictly speaking, his toys. If he's playing with them, I'm not going to tell him he has to give up the one he's playing with to another kid who has a hundred other toys to choose from, but wants the one that my son is playing with. On the other hand, if the other kid is playing with a toy, I'm not going to make him give up the one he is playing with either, not even to my son.

So, when they are done with the toy, the other kid can play with it. That's what I find fair, so that's what I enforce. Again, that's a personal thing and every parent has different rules at their house.

However, what's really been preying on my mind recently is the "everybody wins" thing.

I graduated in Elementary Education and though I don't have much experience, I did observe quite a few ways that teachers try to make games fun for everyone. Usually, you just don't have a winner, or you try and make everyone feel like a winner.

However, when Kevin and his friend were playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos today, I saw what I thought of as a flaw with that perspective.

Link to picture's source

Kevin's friend won the game, and immediately, she started chatting, "I won, I won." I told her that it was good that she won, but she didn't need to tease or we couldn't play. She stopped immediately, and they kept playing. Kevin, on the other hand, argued back that he had won, even though his hippo has collected fewer balls. I told him that his friend had won, and that we should be excited for her. So, we clapped for his friend, and we played again. The next time, he won and we clapped for him too.

Here's the thought that occurred to me: If there is never a winner, how can kids learn to be happy with other's good fortune?

Often in my life, someone else has received a blessing that I have really wanted. Recently, as I've been struggling with not becoming pregnant, it can be difficult sometimes to be happy for others' pregnancies. In some ways, every time someone announces that they are pregnant, a tiny spear of pain punctures my heart and it begins to ache. However, that doesn't change the fact that I am legitimately happy for my friends and family who have received this marvelous blessing. It just means that it is something I am working on.

When we teach our children to put aside their own desires and be happy for those around them who have good fortune, we are teaching them that other's needs and desires are just as important as their own. It is difficult for people (including me) to look outside of themselves and hope for other people's happiness. Sometimes it is hard to see the blessings that we have, when we are too busy seeing the blessings that we don't have.

As my husband often reminds me, we are blessed with an incredible son. Most people who struggle with getting pregnant, don't have even the one child to comfort them. I have family who want so badly to have children, and for some reason they can't. We pray for them frequently, and they help me remember to count my blessings.

Elder Holland gave a great talk a while back. It was called, "The Laborers in the Vineyard." It kind of talks about this same topic, about how we are not being treated unfairly just because someone else is blessed. This talk came to my mind while I was thinking about this today.

You can read it if you want to. It's a great talk.

So, I'm going to try to teach my son to be happy when others win, and that it's okay to want to win too. I used to be super-competitive. If I lost a game, it was very upsetting to me. I kind of had to learn to stop caring so much so that I could enjoy playing, and not get so angry. Now, I'm kind of casual about games, but I think I enjoy them more. I still want to win, but it's beginning to be okay when I lose too.