Wanting It All

When I was younger, I received a gift card for Barnes and Nobles.

I was super excited. I have always loved books, and so it was thrilling for me to be able to purchase more of them, especially when I didn't have to use my own money.

My dad took me to Barnes and Nobles and I began to browse the books. I found three books that I really wanted, but together, they added up to more than I had on the gift card.

I could see my dad's eyes light up. I could practically see him thinking, Ah-hah! An excellent teaching moment!

He turned to me and said, "Now you have a decision to make. Which book are you going to put back?"

I looked at the three books. It was a really tough decision. I didn't want to choose only two; I wanted all of the books. Then, suddenly I remembered something.

"I have some cash in my wallet!" I exclaimed. "I can buy all of them!"

Books are awesome. Period.

My dad's face fell. I could tell that he was disappointed. That hadn't been the lesson that he had wanted me to learn. However, I was just thrilled that I didn't have to choose and that I could have everything.

I've been thinking about that experience a lot lately.

Recently, we've had to face a similar decision. There are four fairly expensive things coming up. We have felt drawn to purchase all of them, but if we buy some of them, we probably won't be able to buy others. All of them are good things.

We have felt drawn to look at some Norwegian elkhound puppies, and we've felt that if Grig gets his appointment and raise at work that we will be able to buy one. However, we've also recently found out that some of Grig's extended family is coming soon to visit his parents' in Virginia, and we want to travel there and visit them.

On top of those two things, we've also felt recently that we need to start looking at purchasing a new vehicle, one that has more room. As it is, all the people that live in our house can't really travel with us anywhere. We don't have enough room in our car.

Finally, we've been feeling that maybe the time for the next baby is going to happen soon, which is another huge expense.

A lot more than this, anyway. 

The hard thing is, I want all of these things. I'm really hoping that somehow, things are going to work out so that we can afford to pay for each of these wonderful blessings. I'm afraid though, that we're going to have to pick, and that's going to be really hard to do.

We've been praying a lot, and we are waiting to see what happens, especially with Grig's job. We've been trying to save and be frugal, but even so, currently we can barely afford any of these things.

I'm sure things will work out, I just don't know how yet. I trust in my Heavenly Father, and I know that if something is supposed to happen, that He will help it to happen. For now, we're just hoping and praying that we'll make the right decision when the time comes.

Libraries are Awesome!

There are few places that I like more than a library, especially a well-stocked one.

We have an incredible library in our town, and last night we went to visit it again. It is the best library that I know of. Granted, previously I came from much smaller towns with much smaller libraries, but when I would come to this city to visit my grandma when I was younger, she would sometimes take us to the library to check out books on her library card.

I remember one particular summer when we visited, we were able to stay for a week. I think I read nearly 20 books. I remember that summer with fondness.

There is just something about a place dedicated to learning that makes me super happy. I walk into a library and take a deep breath and smell the wonderful scent of books. I could spend hours scanning the interior and looking through the selection.

However, last night, as Grig was taking his turn browsing books while I watched Kevin, I was letting Kevin play on the computers that they had there for children. He was playing a color game with Elmo and every time Elmo would talk, Kevin would laugh. It was really fun, and we were having a good time.

Suddenly, disaster struck! A particularly abhorrent smell wafted to my nostrils. Uh oh. I quickly checked Kevin's diaper. A minor explosion had occurred, and we had to quickly find Grig and check out. We hadn't brought a diaper bag with us (Kevin had already had two explosions that day, so we thought that we would be okay), so we drove home to clean him up.

That ended our library trip for the night, but Grig is currently reading the Percy Jackson series (that I own), and I had already made my selection before the crisis occurred. It all worked out fine.

Libraries are pretty awesome. Digital software is fine and dandy, but nothing can replace the papered word for me. I like to touch the pages, flip them back and forth, and, most importantly, smell the books. Books have a wonderful, unappreciated odor.

Yes, I may be strange, but books were my best friends for years. Now, they simply serve as an occasional break. I enjoy reading, but I do it with much more moderation now.

Moderation in all things, right?

That's something I'm learning...especially at the library where it would be so easy to grab more books than you need.

Why Do People Collect Things?

The other day, we were shopping at Wal-mart and as we checked out, I looked on the display case behind us and saw hundreds of collectible cards. They had Pokemon, Magic, and many others that I had never even heard of.

So, what happened then? I wondered why do people feel the need to collect (sometimes inane) things?

Well, when trying to analyze any of the oddities of humanity, I usually start with the topic I know the most about...myself.

I, myself, am a collector of books. When I was younger I would save up my money so I could buy series. If I didn't have every book in the series, I didn't feel complete. I bought every series with the intention that someday I would read them to my children, but I never bought a book unless I had the intention of reading it again myself. If I didn't enjoy a book, I wouldn't buy it. I was a voracious reader though, and by the time I graduated from high school, I had a couple bookshelves full of books.

My collection didn't end there. In college I continued to buy books, but I also began to collect DVD series. By the time I went on my mission, I had the entire Stargate and Macgyver series.

For me, it was because when I felt the urge to watch a show, I wanted it available at my fingertips. Showing off the collection was a side-benefit, but my books and my movies don't sit on the shelves collecting dust. They are frequently read and re-read by me.

When Grig and I got married, he added his collection to mine.  We have probably too many books. We have two large bookshelves full, and most of our books are still in storage. We would like to have them all out, but we just don't have room now.

So, collecting things that you love and enjoy makes sense to me. I guess if you love the game Pokemon and play it frequently, I could understand collecting the cards. Probably most collections are started out of love or admiration for the thing being collected.

Rare coins can be interesting (and worth a great deal of money). However, for people who collect pets or children, the reason behind it may be something else entirely.

The Wikipedia article "Psychology of Collecting" stated a few different reasons for collecting. Usually collections can be passive and have emotional attachments (such as in the case of my books). One person related the following memory:

Oxlade- Vaz describes the intense emotional bond she had with her grandmother, and the rich heart-warming memories she had amassed at her grandma’s house as a child and even as an adult. Her grandmother, a product of the Great Depression, "saved" everything. As a child, the author recalls the loving and gentle way her grandmother organized seemingly ordinary items: rubber bands were neatly bound together and artfully displayed on the mantle. Tops of pens of all colors and sizes were neatly arranged in drawers and bins. Artificial flowers, saved from the dumpster decorated every room in the house. At her grandmother’s death, Oxlade-Vaz recalls the overwhelmingly pleasant emotions that overcame her as she sorted through her grandma’s collections. Though not valuable, the author kept these collections to remember her grandma’s thrifty, sensible, wisdom—reminders of the graceful way her grandmother was able to provide seemingly useless items dignity and respect.

However, collecting is not always so harmless. I found very interesting comment from a collector:

Petrulis also admits there is a dark side to collecting, providing some support for views that certain passions can be bad. "It gets addictive," says Petrulis, "just like gambling, drugs or sex. It's like putting a coin in a slot machine. It might not pay off this time, so you put another quarter in and keep doing it until you are tapped out or finally hit the jackpot."

I think that is true. Anything can become harmful if done to extremes. When collecting moves from a hobby to an obsession, it can become very detrimental. Other, better things, might be pushed to the sidelines in the pursuit of collector's items. People go bankrupt collecting things they can't afford, lose their families in the pursuits of their items, and starve themselves to feed their obsessions. Hoarders are a case in point.

The article talked a bit about hoarders. It states:

There are also times when collecting is not pleasant for anyone. These are the collectors that have surpassed healthy collecting behavior and are considered hoarders. When a collection becomes hoarding is when it also becomes pathological. Hoarding is pathological because it interferes with living a normal daily life. Steven W. Anderson, a neurologist who studies hoarding behavior, posits that the need to collect stems from a basic drive to collect basic supplies such as food. This drive originates in the subcortical and limbic portions of the brain. According to Anderson, people need their prefrontal cortex to determine what supplies are worth saving (or hoarding). Anderson has found that many compulsive hoarders with brain injury had suffered damage to a region of their brain that regulates cognitive behaviors like decision making, information processing, and organizing behavior—the prefrontal cortex. Those with brain injury who did not display hoarding behavior, did not have damage to theirfrontal cortex, but showed damage distributed throughout the right and left hemispheres of their brain.

So, be careful that collections don't pass the realm of healthy, natural human behaviors and interfere with the more important things in your life. I've known of people who are pet hoarders and spend all their money feeding their pets while they live in filth and starve. It's a pretty tragic lifestyle, and not a  healthy one.

Grig and I have had to draw a line on book collecting as well. He has known a few people who used all their money on books and had nothing left to live on. We try to carefully budget our money and only get books when we can afford it. We try to only buy healthy and wholesome books that are going to bring a good spirit into our home and be appropriate for our children to read.

Family should come first before things. Even if Kevin were to rip up one of my favorite books, it's just a thing. It's not more important than my son. If it ever began to
became more important, I would know I had a serious problem.

I learned a lot today trying to answer my question. If you have anything you want to add, please teach me. I would love to hear your perspectives.

Why Twilight's Not So Bad

When I got off my mission, I was excited to watch some of the movies that I'd been missing.  One of the movies I watched was the new Twilight movie that had came out a few months previous.  At the time, I didn't think it was that horrible.  After all, I hadn't seen movies in a year and a half, so it seemed okay to me.  However, since then, I've come to realize that the movies are really not quality entertainment.  This post actually isn't about the movies, but about the books themselves.  The movies have some pretty horrible acting, and the characters all look like they need more sleep.  I'm not going to address the movies, but the quality of the books.

This may be an interesting post for me to write, especially after last month's Harry Potter spiel.  After all, the Harry Potter books are much better than the Twilight ones, right?  Probably.

However, today I'm standing up in defense of books that I don't really like, just because they've gotten a lot worse publicity than they actually deserve.

My sister really like Twilight when it first came out.  She told me that I needed to read the books, because they were fantastic!  Reluctantly I agreed.  Understand, I'm not a big fan of romance books.  However, even though all the teen-angst and drama was wearying to me, I still had a hard time putting down the book.  Especially after I got halfway through it.  Suddenly, the action kicked in, and I had a really hard time putting it down.  I ended up finishing it in just a few hours.  Still, I was reluctant to admit that I liked it because it was such a 'girly' book.

I read the second one eventually as well.  I haven't read the other two, but maybe someday I will.  Here's the thing.  Stephanie Meyers isn't a bad writer.  In fact, if a book is difficult to put down, it means that the person is an excellent writer.  I don't even like romance, and I had a difficult time disengaging from it.

Stephanie Meyer was trying to introduce a different kind of vampire.  Vampires have almost always been allusions of sexual desire.  I've never read Anne Rice, but I hear that she capitalizes on that as well.  Stephanie Meyer wanted to show that acting upon our desires is always a matter of choice.  In the vampires in her books' case, there were several kind of desires that the characters were managing.  I appreciate what she was trying to do with her books.  I agree with her.

Some people didn't like the non-traditional version of vampires that were in her books.  They claim that they were 'unvampirelike.'  What does that even mean?  Vampires are fictional.  They have been around for centuries, but every author whose every written about them has changed them to suit their own needs.  There is not a set parameter on what vampires should look like.  If Stephanie Meyers wants to make her vampires sparkle in sunlight instead of turning to dust, who am I to argue.  We might make fun of it, but it is still legal.

Stephanie Meyer came up with a concept that was supremely successful.  A lot of less successful authors criticize her works and her writing style.  However, she succeeded in capturing the hearts of a lot of young people.  Doesn't that speak for itself?  Writing is as much a gamble as anything.  You never know if your book is going to be successful.  However, she won the gamble.  (And yes, J.K. Rowling did as well.  Maybe I'm just jealous.)

If you haven't read her first book and you are an acute hater of Twilight and her other creations, try to read it before you say you hate it.  Yes, the movies were pretty awful, but like all movies, they didn't really follow along with all the aspects of the books.  The books described the vampires in a way that did kind of make you want to meet them.  Even if they did sparkle.

Like I said, I haven't finished reading the series, but from what I've read, it's okay.  She was trying to portray her morals into a concept that has long been the opposite.  For that, she has received quite a bit of gruff.  I take my hat off to her for trying though.  She's been quite successful.

So, that's why I think Twilight's not so bad.  Tell me what you think.

Bedtime Stories

Ever since Kevin was born, Grig has been trying to read him bedtime stories every night.  Some nights we're better at it than others, but we've tried to be consistent.  At first, it was easy because Kevin couldn't move so he had to sit still to listen to the stories.  Grig is a very expressive reader and I rarely hear the same story twice, even when he's reading the same book!  Grig often changes the story to make it more entertaining.  Even though Kevin probably really didn't care at that age, we all still enjoyed the time together. 

Then came the time when Kevin would no longer sit still and really wasn't interested in the cardboard things that didn't move.  He wanted to be active, and it became harder to read to him.  Short stories were key during this stage.  The faster the pages turned, the more Kevin cared.

Finally, we reached a new level.  Kevin loves books now!  His current favorite is one that my parents gave us when he was born.  It's called Eight Silly Monkeys.  It's basically Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed but with a clever twist.  The monkeys' heads are also sticking out of the book so Kevin can touch them.  He loves the rhyme.  Every time we start, he sits down and begins to bob his head up and down, which is his version of dancing.  Then he slaps the book in time to the rhythm and likes to help turn the pages.  He also loves a Mother Goose Rhyme book that we have.  Rhymes and rhythms seem to be the current trend, but he also likes books about him.

We've made an effort to help our son enjoy reading because it is something that Grig and I enjoy very much.  Grig is a freelance Editor for beginning authors and he majored in Creative Writing.  I write books in my spare time as well.  We want our children to love to read, because it is something we love so much.

We also have a lot of books for them to read.  We wouldn't want them to go to waste.  Reading is something that our family has put a high priority on.  I have the theory that there is no one on this earth who doesn't enjoy reading.  People who think that they don't like it just haven't found the right book yet.

During my college years, I had a roommate who told me she hates reading.  That just wouldn't do!  So, every night I tried to read to her out of Percy Jackson; The Lightning Thief.  She started getting into it.  However, the semester got busy, and it didn't look like I would have time to finish it with her.  I had told her that when we finished it, I would buy us icecream and we would watch the movie, and so she took it upon herself to finish it on her own time!  That was better than anything I could have hoped for.  She liked the book, and she spent the whole movie complaining about how different it was from the book.

Ah, true success.  A budding reader in the making.  She even took the next book in the series to start reading, but I don't think she finished it before I got married and moved out with all of my books.

If you think you don't like reading, try a different book.  Harry Potter (though I do have some issues with the series) has done wonders for the youth of the next generation.  I think that series has done more to promote reading amongst children than any other book series ever!  That's quite an achievement.

If you keep exploring, you're bound to find a series you like.  Once you do, reading will cease to become a chore and will become an adventure!