Mormon Monday: The Fallacy of Making God in Our Image

There is something that has been bugging me lately, so I wanted to interrupt my Plan of Salvation series to talk about it today. I'm going to try and explain this clearly, but I'm not quite sure how to put it into words, so I hope this comes across the way it is intended.

I know that God is real. He has existed before this world and He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So, why is it that we try to hard to interpret who God is according to our own values?

Too often, I hear people say, "I'm trying to fit the Lord into my life," or "This is who God is to me." It doesn't really matter what your personal opinions are about God. We don't define Him. The difference between our Heavenly Father and every other God that has been conceived on this planet is that we were created in His image. The other gods were created in ours.

A good example of this is the Greek and Roman gods. They are spiteful, selfish, unpredictable, and unfaithful. They have no 'godly' characteristics that would cause man to try to be better than his natural self. Instead, they promote the idea that if the gods themselves can't practice self-control, why should man even try? The only thing that makes gods like that 'godly' is the fact that they are (almost) immortal and physically stronger than regular mortals. However, as far as moral character goes, they are lower than the humans who reside on the surface of the planet.

What is an idol?

It is a creation of man that fills a certain need. An idol can be a statue that we claim has divine powers or it can be something as simple as a computer game that has become more important than our church callings. Anytime we create something, place something above God, or worship a creation of man, we are participating in idolatry.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) we believe that God is our Eternal Heavenly Father. We believe that He has a perfect body of flesh and bone, and that He is perfect and just. However, we don't try and define Him. Instead we try to understand Him.

We shouldn't be trying to figure out who God is to us. Instead, we should be trying to figure out who we are to Him. We shouldn't be trying to figure out how to fit Him into our lives, but instead, we should be trying to figure out how we fit into His great and wonderful plan. He has things for all of us to accomplish, but if we try and change Him to fit our needs, we are going to find that we are not on His side after all, and that we are worshiping a God of our own invention. Anytime we define God according to our own moral standards, we are creating a god in our own image.

We don't define God. He is already a real, complete being. God has decreed rules and laws that we can read in the Bible and Book of Mormon, and that are given to us through his latter-day prophets. We have been given prayer to speak to him personally. God isn't going to change his mind because we don't agree with Him. God doesn't hear our moral ideas and decide that we are correct. Instead, He requires us to obey his commandments, and if we do, we are blessed and experience true happiness.

Stop fighting God's commandments. Repent and change and come to Him. Don't try to make Him come to you.

I'm trying to do the same. We are all lost sheep trying to find a shepherd. Some people have settled on science to be their shepherds, others have settled on wealth, or even mortal heroes. Don't settle for idols. They are crafted by imperfect beings, and will only lead you away from true happiness. Learn about God. Don't try to imagine Him and don't try to change Him to suit your desires. Instead, try to discover who He truly is.

John 17:3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

I want God to define who I am. As I come to know him and grow to be more like him, I know I will gradually come to understand Him. God is not incomprehensible. He wants us to understand Him and to become like Him. We all have the potential to do so. I want everyone to feel the joy that the gospel brings into this fallen world that we live in.

God is real and unchanging. I know this to be true. He loves all of his children, and waits for them to choose to receive the wonderful blessings that He has in store for them. I testify that as we put aside our own desires and ideas of 'right and wrong', our minds will be illuminated with truth. All truth comes from God.

God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay that way.

Sexual Intimacy Within Marriage is OKAY!

Before I begin writing this post, I want to make something very clear. I am just a regular wife. I am not really qualified to talk about this topic except in that context. In fact, some people may find it odd that I am writing about this at all, since I couldn't even say the word 'sex' until after high school.

However, I feel that we have a very real problem in our society and I wanted to address it briefly.

What do you think of when you hear the word 'sex'?

If you're like most people, degrading or immoral images may flash through your mind from movies you've seen or from the most recent Miley Cyrus scandal. Unfortunately, that is not what is supposed to happen.

The media portrays intimacy as something that is casual, evil ,or demeaning..Very few stand up for the sacredness of the act, and it's not necessarily because they don't care. It's simply uncomfortable to talk about, so we often avoid discussing it at all. Though the act itself is very sacred, it is important that we understand something very important:

The more that we act uncomfortable around the subject and tell our children not to do it, the more likely they are to feel uncomfortable and sinful about the subject themselves, even after they are married.

I recently read a book called Last Child in the Woods. This is a fantastic book about what the author calls nature deficit disorder. Basically, our children are not getting out into nature enough. However, during one chapter, the author brought up a very interesting thought. Richard Louv pointed out that showing children the destruction of nature in the classroom might make them want to protect it, but it also associates nature with negative emotions. Children then become afraid of nature and unwilling to actually get close to it because all they associate it with is destruction and death. These images of trees being cut down and animals being slaughtered don't bring children a love and a desire to go forth in nature and become close to it, instead those feelings cause children to stay as far away as possible and only care about it in a humanitarian way.

Intimacy, unfortunately, has been handled in the same way.

When we talk to young men and young women at church, we usually tell them, "Don't make out! Don't have sex until you're married! Abstinence is important!"

Those these are true principles, the way we are saying them is a negative one. Everyone's so busy telling us that intimacy is bad before marriage that we come to associate intimacy with negative feelings. The problem is, those feelings don't go away once your married. It is hard to comprehend that something is 'wrong' before you married, and then once you're married it is magically okay. Before I was married, I was terrified of being intimate with my spouse. Here are some things that helped me get over that.

When Grig and I were engaged, someone recommended a book to us. This book handles the subject of sexual intimacy in marriage in a respectful and sacred manner, while quoting from (Latter-day Saint) prophets and apostles, as well as the scriptures and other Christian psychologists. We only read the first three chapters before we were married, because the first three chapters are about developing a testimony of intimacy. The other chapter are better read after you're married.

This book is called And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment.  This book addressed this specific issue I'm talking about. In fact, it called it "The Good-Girl Syndrome."

Many married women (and some men) have a very difficult time being intimate after marriage without feeling feelings of guilt or shame. They can't relax and enjoy the experience, because a part of them is saying that it's wrong and that they are doing something bad.

This is a terrible tragedy. The author of this book pointed out that many marriages end because of sexual unfulfillment. Even if one of the spouses is enjoying the experience, that sensation doesn't last. Sexual Intimacy is meant to be pleasurable and fulfilling for both husband and wife. If one side of the marriage is not involved, it is not a good experience for either person.

If you are experiencing this in your life, I want you to know that you don't have to stay in that negative place. God made man (and women) to have joy. Sexual intimacy within the bounds of marriage can bring greater joy than it is possible to imagine. God commanded Adam and Eve "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." This is an appropriate and sacred relationship. Intimacy is a wonderful thing that can repair wounds between a husband and wife and help them become one flesh.

Outside of marriage, those relationships become hollow because intimacy is about becoming one. It is meant to bring children and love into a family. When it is done outside the proper bounds of marriage, it is an ultimately unsatisfying because it only lasts for a few moments. Those who were meant to become one instead are uncommitted to the relationship. You cannot form one being out of two individuals who refuse to be tied together or who are afraid to commit because they might be hurt. Or out of individuals who are 'just doing it to have a good time.' It is meant to be so much more than that.

Within the bounds of marriage, intimacy become a unifying force. Outside, it becomes destructive.

I had a Bishop before I was married who told me that it is okay to have sex after you're married just to have sex. He told me that I would be surprised how many young women thought you could only be intimate if you were trying to have a baby.

If you are struggling with intimacy in your marriage, I have some suggestions for you. Even if your intimate life is wonderful, working on these things won't hurt you. Again, I am no professional and I don't really have all that much experience, but I can tell you three things that have helped us in our marriage.

1- Find out for yourself that intimacy is divinely appointed. Bring the Lord into your marriage and into your intimate life. I know that sounds weird, but I promise it will help. Intimacy is a sacred thing, and the Lord should always be part of sacred things.

The LDS church handbook says:

Married couples should also understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a way of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.

Research the subject prayerfully and seek guidance from the Lord. He wants you to be happy, and He will guide you in the way that will strengthen you and your marriage. He does care that you are being fulfilled in your marriage and that you and your spouse are growing closer together.

Here are a couple talks that may help you develop that testimony.

They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage

Intimacy in Marriage

Also, the book I mentioned about could help. It helped me out. Here's the link again:

And They Were Not Ashamed

2 - Discuss the topic openly, lovingly, and prayerfully with your spouse.

You aren't in this marriage alone. Your spouse may be struggling with similar feelings and they need to understand how you feel. As you discuss the matter together, you can grow closer and find that your love can reach new heights. If you decide you need greater help, counsel with your Bishop or someone you trust who may be able to guide you to a reliable marriage counselor with similar values to you and your husband. Both you and your spouse's feelings need to be considered.

3- Remember that intimacy is about making both you and YOUR SPOUSE feel good. 

Like everything in marriage, when we approach it from a selfish perspective, it isn't going to work. True intimacy involves doing it together with the other person in mind. As people put aside their own personal feelings and focus on their spouse, they will find that the experience becomes more enjoyable. 

Marriages are strengthened as we serve and love one another. Neither spouse should have to feel like a sexual object, but likewise, neither spouse should have to feel bad about wanting to do something sanctioned by the Lord. Work on your testimony together and try to understand your spouse's perspective.


Finally, talk to your children openly and respectfully when they have questions about the subject. If you feel awkward and uncomfortable, your children are going to feel awkward and uncomfortable. To help parents teach and educate their children on the subject of sex, the church has published a manual called A Parent's Guide. It's free, and I'm sure it would be helpful for you, regardless of your faith.

Hopefully this helps somebody.

I know that intimacy within marriage is divinely appointed. It can be a pleasurable, wonderful, and sacred experience! The Lord often asks us to fast from things until the time is right. Abstinence before marriage is like fasting before a meal. You get great blessings for waiting, and the food always tastes better when you finish your fast. Eating isn't wrong, but there are times when it is appropriate to wait, and it is totally possible to do so. The Lord will bless you in your efforts and provide a way for you to accomplish His commandments and to find joy as you do so.

Mormon Monday: Why Do We Call Him Heavenly Father?

John 17:3 states:

And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

This doesn't mean that we need to know OF them, but that we actually need to know about them and understand them.

Many truths about God have been lost in the centuries since Christ was on the earth.  However, because of the vision that Joseph Smith received some wonderful truths have been restored to the earth.

Heavenly Father is the literal father of our spirits.  He created us before we were born and we have the potential to become like him.  He is a loving Heavenly Father who wants us to receive incredible blessings, but he also wants us to learn and grow.  In order to do that, he has given us the opportunity to choose.  When we make righteous decisions, we become more like him and we receive promised blessings.  When we make poor decisions, we receive the promised consequences. 

This is the only way for us to learn to become like our Father in Heaven. 

For children who grow up in families with wonderful fathers, it is easy to understand this relationship with our Heavenly Parent.  However, in this world, many children grow up fatherless, or even worse, with abusive parents.  For those children, they may struggle to understand how someone could love them unequivocally.  The Father has no hidden motives or deceitful plans.  He only wants what is best for us.

He is perfect and righteous.  The past, present, and future are all present before him.  He has foreknowledge of all events to come, and thus can guide us without error. 

The father has a body of flesh and bone, like the resurrected Savior did when he appeared to his disciples.  He is not a formless cloud "without body, parts, or passions."  In numerous occasions, we see God weep for the sins of his children. How could he do that if he didn't have passions? 

I'll not write too much more today, because Kevin has a fever and is sick, but I do want to end this post with my personal temtimony.

I know that I am a child of God.  I have felt his overwhelming love for me on numerous occasions and the Holy Spirit has testified of this truth to me.  God loves everyone of His children.  We are all sinners before Him, and He does His best to lead us to His Son.  Due to Christ's sacrifice, we can all return to our Heavenly Father if we simply do our best to follow and keep his commandments.  If you don't know of God's love for you, kneel down and ask Him.  I promise you that if you have faith and believe, He will answer you and you will know that this life does have a purpose. 

Let our Heavenly Father into your life.  Let him comfort you and guide you.  He will not lead you astray.  He cannot make mistakes, and if we are trying to follow Him, we will be led to happiness.

I say these things in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Mormon Monday: Gratitude

This week is Thanksgiving!  So, I thought I would tell you the LDS doctrine on gratitude.

We believe that God expects us to show him our gratitude.  In one scripture, it says:

Doctrine and Covenants: 59:21 And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

Heavenly Father gives us everything.  However, often we are like ungrateful, entitled children.  We believe that we DESERVE blessings and that God should give them to us simply because we want them.  Luckily for us, God doesn't work that way.

He has complete and perfect knowledge of the best way to parent each of us.  He knows when we should wait for things, He knows when we need them immediately.  It is simply our responsibility to recognize the blessings from our Heavenly Father and thank him for them.

HIis goal in this life is for all of us to reach perfection.  Trials and conflicts make us grow.  For my post on why bad things happen, click here.  Our Heavenly Father doesn't let anything happen without a reason.  

Often we are blessed beyond our wildest dreams and when that happens, we often forget to thank the one who caused it to happen. 

There is an old story I know of.  A man was working on his roof one day, when he suddenly felt himself slipping.  Knowing that if he fell, he would tumble to his death, he quickly prayed, "God save me!"

As he went off the edge, his shirt caught on a nail and he stuck.  He breathed a sigh of relief, looked back up at the sky and said, "Never mind, Lord, I saved myself."

There is another scripture I love.  It's a King talking to his people about why they should be grateful to God. It says: 

Mosiah 2:19-25

19 And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!

 20 I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—

 21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

 22 And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

 23 And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him.

 24 And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?

 25 And now I ask, can ye say aught of yourselves? I answer you, Nay. Ye cannot say that ye are even as much as the dust of the earth; yet ye were created of the dust of the earth; but behold, it belongeth to him who created you.

 I love this because it is so true!  We get everything from the Lord, and no matter what we do to try and serve him, he just blesses us more.  We are eternally in His debt.  

This week I'm going to be posting blogs about things I am grateful the Lord gave me.  I have so much in my life, and often I am always looking toward the future and saying, "Oh, when this happens, I'll be happier."

I should be happier today.  I have so many blessings and so few troubles.  I need to let the Lord know that I have recognized His hand in my life, and I am grateful for it. 

Scary Movies Forget the Most Important Thing

Last night, I had a bad dream.  In my dream, there was a little girl spirit who was evil.  In her life she had murdered four people, including her brother.  She was somewhat safe when she was in the form of a girl, but when she got upset, she would gain all the powers of darkness and attack us.  It was a rather intense dream. 

When I woke up, I was a bit scared, so I began to pray.  That's when the realization hit me.  Why hadn't I done that in the dream?

In horror films, we are so often presented with ghosts and demons, that we don't think about the other side of the coin.  If ghosts and demons are real, doesn't that mean that God is real too? 

As I continued this thought process, I realized that in almost all of the scary movies I had seen that the hero or heroine generally tries to defeat the 'monster' by themselves.  They try to use flesh to overcome their adversary. 

Man is a lot of things, but we are not necessarily light.  We all have both light and darkness to our personalities.  We can only be influenced by dark if we choose to allow darkness into our lives, but the only thing that will truly dispel darkness is light.

Wouldn't horror movies be different if the next time the hero was attacked by an evil spirit, they got down on their knees and prayed for divine protection? 

Part of the reason that scary movies frighten us so much is because they deal with the supernatural, with things that we don't understand and can't fight.  However, we can fight them.  The Adversary only has as much power as we give him.  Light always trumps darkness, and God is stronger than any other power. 

That doesn't mean those powers aren't real.  They are as real as God himself.  However, we have the choice to embrace them or deny them.  If we turn to God, He will give us the power to overcome our trials, tribulations, and temptations.  He will help us when we are frightened and scared. 

One of the most interesting scary movies I've ever watched was The Exorcism of Emily Rose.  It made a lasting impact on my mind.  I haven't seen it since 2005, but I remember that it was a deeply religious movie, and very different from any other film that I had even seen.  Instead of just having shocking and frightening scenes, it delved into the fact that if the Devil is real, then so is God. 

It compared psychosis and epilepsy to demonic possession and posed the question, "Does demonic possession exist, and is it often misdiagnosed as a mental illness?"  I have actually wondered this question myself as I read through the New Testament.  Anyway, in terms of the movie, I think it actually had a very nice, spiritual ending.  It left a good impression on my mind.  I didn't agree with everything that was said, but the intention was good.

In our own lives, we often try to be that hero or heroine that takes on darkness by ourselves.  We think that we are strong enough to stand alone and overcome whatever life can throw at us.  Again I say, the only thing that dispels darkness is light.  The only thing strong enough to overcome the world is our Savior, Jesus Christ.  If we don't turn to him for protection and power, we won't be strong enough to resist the evils of this life. 

These are the thoughts that my dream brought this morning.  I found them interesting, but they also bring up another question.

Do I think too much?  Probably. 

In the Hands of the Lord

 

In church last week, they were talking about putting everything in the hands of the Lord.  A woman then related a story that reminded me of one of my own.  I wanted to share that story.

When I was pregnant with Kevin, I was very worried about him.  My sister had lost a baby in a tragic, yet sacred way, and my sister-in-law had experienced a miscarriage.  So, I was nearly constantly worried about the baby miscarrying.  More than anything, I wanted to have children, and the thought that I would not be able to hold my baby in my arms was almost more than I could bear.

So, I asked my husband to give me a blessing.  As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that Christ's authority has been restored to the Earth.  We believe that there is a proper line of authority which came straight from Christ himself and can only be passed on by one who has the authority from God to do so.  Through the grace and kindness of God, that has now been made available to every worthy man in the church. My husband has the priesthood (or this authority).  So, when he laid his hands on my head to give me a blessing of comfort, I knew that he wasn't speaking with his own voice, but the voice of the Lord.

The blessing he gave me was not what I wanted, but it was what I needed.  The Lord didn't tell me that the baby would be okay.  He didn't tell me that the pregnancy would go off without a hitch.  Instead, he told me that He loved the baby and that the He was mindful of us.  I felt the peace of the spirit fill me, and I was comforted.  I realized that even if the baby did die, he would be in the Lord's hands, and everything would be okay.  I simply needed to trust in the Lord.  Thanks to the covenants that I have made in the temple, even if the baby did die, he would still be mine forever as long as I lived righteously and kept my covenants with God.  It was very comforting to turn over my fear to the Lord.

Kevin was born just fine (though the actual birthing process had a few complications which I may talk about later.)  He is an adorable boy, and I love him more than I ever thought possible.  Sometimes I still worry a bit for him, but then I am reminded of what the Lord told me.  Regardless of what happens in this life, if we trust in the Lord it will all work for our good.  My children (present and future) are safe in the hands of the Lord.