Showing posts with label parody. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parody. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Crazy Weight Loss Program! I Lost 10 lbs in a Month!
You're not going to believe this. I didn't, when I heard about it, but this is a true story. On my new weight loss program, I've lost over ten pounds in one month! It's the simplest thing I've ever tried, and it works!
My career as a model had been going downhill. My agent told me that if I didn't lose weight, I was going to only be used for commercials as Bertha the Blue Whale. I found it very frustrating, and I was having a hard time feeling my inner beauty.
And don't mention those beach parties! I just didn't feel comfortable strutting my stuff when other people were around. Sure, if it was a rainy day and everyone else was inside, I didn't mind going out in my bathing suit, but I just couldn't handle it when others were watching.
Finally, though, I found a weight loss program that works for me! I had heard about it on television, but I didn't believe it would really work. A friend of mine was going through it, and she told me that if I would give it a try, I would really see results.
They call it the Starving College Student Plan (SCSP). It's so simple. Here's how it works:
You don't make very much money and you have a tight budget for groceries.
Sounds too good to be true, right?
Wrong! I tried it and I saw crazy results! Grig and I were on such a tight budget that we didn't have money to go out to eat. It was hard at times, and I really missed fast food, but I can't deny the results.
Also, we suddenly had to eat more vegetables because we had family who had their own gardens and were giving us free fruits and vegetables. Our diets improved by 100%. With all the fresh food and lack of high fat, I found myself feeling better than ever before! We also began to use our meat sparingly because we couldn't afford to buy it very often either.
On the SCSP, I didn't see instant results, but as I kept at it, I have begun to lose weight!
The best part? You don't even have to be a college student to use this plan. Simply eat more fruits and vegetables, eat out less often, and eat meat sparingly.
Oh, yeah. I forgot one last part. We also have been trying to exercise more. A walk here, a jog there, it's not much but it sure adds up!
A healthy diet and a little exercise go a long way. The SCSP worked for me, and it can work for you too! Call this number to begin your free trial:
(555) Tnk-Ifny
And yes, I do think I'm hilarious.
(As a side note, I haven't lost as much weight on this plan as I did the Nine-Month-and-a-Baby-Plan (NMAABP), but that plan doesn't work for everyone, so I recommend this one instead. Though, you do get to lose all the weight in one day, the SCSP doesn't requires you to gain a bunch of weight first before you can lose it. Plus, those stretch marks are torture!)
:)
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