Are Big Families Crazy?

 I've recently been reading a book series by an author named Angie Sage.  I'm currently on the second book.  I'm really enjoying the series, except for one thing:

The author's portrayal of large families.

In this series, the main character is the seventh son of a seventh son.  So, the main character's family is quite large.  Here's the issue I have:

The family is totally disfunctional.  Four of the boys are now living in the woods like savages, one has turned to the dark side, and only two actually spend time with their parents.

Seriously?  I understand if you don't want to have to write about nine characters at a time, but that seems a bit extreme. 

For those of you who are not from big families, we're not really that crazy.

Grig's family had seven kids. 

There were ten children in my family. 

We are really close.  When I was growing up, there was the occasional sibling argument, but we all knew that we loved each other and we listened to each other.  As the older siblings grew older, we were able to help out our parents by taking care of our younger siblings.  If I told my younger siblings to do something, they generally did it.  They sometimes griped about it, but they listened to me.

I think a lot of people can't imagine having a big family because they think of all those little kids running around.  What a lot of people don't remember is that little kids don't stay little forever, and most people don't have six children at once.  (That does happen occasionally, and it's difficult, but doable.  I knew a family that had sextuplets, and they are doing just fine.)  Usually, by the time you have six or seven children, the older ones can now help with the younger ones.

My parents taught me responsibility.  I loved children and I still do!  I would babysit other people's children, because I couldn't get enough of them.  Not all older siblings are like that, some just like their own siblings, and some are tired of little kids, but I really liked having a lot of babies at my house.

Usually, in order for a large family to work, the parents have to have some pretty strict guidelines.  That doesn't mean that they're cruel, it just means that they set boundaries and stick with them.  As we grew older and were able to govern ourselves, we helped the younger children learn those boundaries too.    In some ways, our parent's work load increased as the number of their children increased, but in other ways, the work got easier.  They now had more people to help get the house dirty, but they also had more people to help clean it up.  We didn't always, but we usually were pretty good.

I loved having a big family.  When you're inside of it, it doesn't really feel like there's that many people.  It just feels like the perfect amount.  I wouldn't trade any of my siblings for anything.  I loved having so many friends that I could generally count on. 

It wasn't always perfect.  Sometimes there was fighting and sometimes I still felt lonely, but as we've all grown older, we've also grown closer.  It's so much fun for Kevin to have cousins to play with.

So are big families crazy?  I guess that depends a little on how the kids are raised.  However, I would say no.  At least no more crazier than any family...and we're all kind of a little crazy.

Do we want to have a big family like our parents?  Definitely.  Maybe not quite as big, but Kevin is great!  Why wouldn't I want him to have brothers and sisters?

When Did My Younger Siblings Get So Old?

This weekend, we were able to travel to my home town and visit with my family.  It was a real treat.  I've missed them quite a bit since we moved.

Most of my family was there.  My younger twin sisters were speaking in church because they are leaving for a mission for our church in eight days.  Crazy!

Saturday night, as we were having family scriptures and prayers, I looked over at my younger brother.  He is sixteen years old.  I just kind of glanced at him, but it suddenly hit me how grown-up he looked.  He's over six feet tall, and he has been for a couple of years, but maturity is beginning to settle into him.  An overwhelming feeling of love filled me and my mind flashed back to when he was just a baby and he and I had been very close friends.  I used to call him Buh-boy (don't ask me why) and we'd go everywhere together.  Since I left home, we aren't as close as we used to be.  He's grown up and become his own person.  Though part of me looks back at that little boy with kind of a nostalgic sadness, the other part of me enjoys what he has grown into.  It is fun to see the adult that he is becoming.

My baby brother is also growing up.  He has become a wonderful friend to his nieces and nephews.  He is a good example to them, and he is trying hard to find his place in the world.  In only a few years, he will be all grown up too, and my mother and father will be "empty-nesters."  For a couple of people who had ten children, that will be an incredible transition for them.  

My sisters did a fantastic job at church.  They gave great talks, and I truly felt the Spirit as they spoke.  They will be wonderful missionaries.  It will also be difficult for them.  Their whole lives, they've never really been apart.  I think back on the curly-haired little babies that they were, and I wonder where time went?  When did they get so old and mature?  Who are these attractive young women and why don't I know them as well as I should?  They are such individual people, but I don't know what their hopes and their dreams are.  Who do they want to become?  What do they like to do?

I realized as I contemplated the things that made each of them unique that I had a huge regret.  I regretted that I hadn't spent more individual time one-on-one with my siblings.  Sometimes it was easy to get caught up in my own life and take my family for granted.  They never change, right?

Right?

I'm finding out how wrong I am.  In my mind, my little siblings are still the kids that they were when I left home.  They are still adorable, small, and waiting for me to return to visit.  However, I'm beginning to realize that I've let time slip by me.  They haven't held still, they've changed and grown.  I want to know the people that they've become.  They are neat people.

I also want them to get to know me.  I'd do anything for my family.  I love them so much.  I love my in-laws as well, and I'm so grateful that I have such amazing grandparents for Kevin and any future children we will have.

My sisters are coming to visit today, to spend some time with me, do some last minute shopping, and visit another sister who was unable to come to their talks.  Hopefully I'll be able to make up some lost time.

I'd like that.