It's Easy to Tune Out

 

I have a problem.  When I read, I cease to hear things around me on a conscious level.  I think it stems from when I was a child.  I grew up in a family of ten children, so if I wanted to be able to read, I had to be able to concentrate even when a lot of noise was going on.

So, I learned to tune things out.

Saturday, we went to the local library for the first time.  It is amazing!  I picked up eight books and then we came home.  I read a bit on Saturday, and then I finished two more yesterday.

A few times yesterday Grig tried to talk to me, but I didn't notice until halfway through the conversation.

This is how it goes:

A movie is playing in my head.  It's intensely interesting.  I'm part of the characters even as I'm watching them.  I know their thoughts and their feelings, and I am part of those too.  Suddenly, like a swimmer deep under water, I notice something on the surface.  I struggle to break away from the fascinating world underneath the water.  It is a difficult struggle and suddenly I'm free to hear....

"...and if they don't get it figured out soon, there's going to be trouble."

I shake my head and realize that my husband has been talking to me for the last ten minutes.  I quickly search my subconscious of the last few moments and am able to pick up the gist of the conversation.

Quickly I apologized and asked him to repeat a few things, telling him that it was hard for me to hear other things when I was reading.  I do pretty well with reading and watching the baby.  If I put forth effort to pay attention to those around me, I can sometimes do two things at once.  However, once Grig gets home, my mind recognizes that there is someone else around to help and it takes a vacation.

This is why I don't read that much anymore. 

I think in life we sometimes get so focused that we don't notice the things going around us. We become trapped in our own little worlds and we turn other people into characters in our story.  Therefore, they are supposed to act a certain way, behave in a set pattern, and never do anything that would surprise us.  Fortunately, people are real.  They make mistakes and they make their own choices.  We have no control over them, but we can appreciate the wonderful diversity that they bring into our lives.

Books, computer games, and other distractions are fun.  However, they should never replace or get in the way of the truly important things in our lives.  I'm still struggling to learn that.

It's not so easy to always be there for those around you.  It's easy to tune things out.  However, the satisfaction that we gain from being tuned in will far exceed any story that any author could conceive.

Real life is better than fiction, because we can choose who we will become.  It will always have unexpected twists and turns and there will be REAL risks.  We can choose how we react to others and how we spend our time.

I just pray that we all spend it on what truly matters so that we don't look back at the end of our story and say, "What a boring book!"  

When Did My Younger Siblings Get So Old?

This weekend, we were able to travel to my home town and visit with my family.  It was a real treat.  I've missed them quite a bit since we moved.

Most of my family was there.  My younger twin sisters were speaking in church because they are leaving for a mission for our church in eight days.  Crazy!

Saturday night, as we were having family scriptures and prayers, I looked over at my younger brother.  He is sixteen years old.  I just kind of glanced at him, but it suddenly hit me how grown-up he looked.  He's over six feet tall, and he has been for a couple of years, but maturity is beginning to settle into him.  An overwhelming feeling of love filled me and my mind flashed back to when he was just a baby and he and I had been very close friends.  I used to call him Buh-boy (don't ask me why) and we'd go everywhere together.  Since I left home, we aren't as close as we used to be.  He's grown up and become his own person.  Though part of me looks back at that little boy with kind of a nostalgic sadness, the other part of me enjoys what he has grown into.  It is fun to see the adult that he is becoming.

My baby brother is also growing up.  He has become a wonderful friend to his nieces and nephews.  He is a good example to them, and he is trying hard to find his place in the world.  In only a few years, he will be all grown up too, and my mother and father will be "empty-nesters."  For a couple of people who had ten children, that will be an incredible transition for them.  

My sisters did a fantastic job at church.  They gave great talks, and I truly felt the Spirit as they spoke.  They will be wonderful missionaries.  It will also be difficult for them.  Their whole lives, they've never really been apart.  I think back on the curly-haired little babies that they were, and I wonder where time went?  When did they get so old and mature?  Who are these attractive young women and why don't I know them as well as I should?  They are such individual people, but I don't know what their hopes and their dreams are.  Who do they want to become?  What do they like to do?

I realized as I contemplated the things that made each of them unique that I had a huge regret.  I regretted that I hadn't spent more individual time one-on-one with my siblings.  Sometimes it was easy to get caught up in my own life and take my family for granted.  They never change, right?

Right?

I'm finding out how wrong I am.  In my mind, my little siblings are still the kids that they were when I left home.  They are still adorable, small, and waiting for me to return to visit.  However, I'm beginning to realize that I've let time slip by me.  They haven't held still, they've changed and grown.  I want to know the people that they've become.  They are neat people.

I also want them to get to know me.  I'd do anything for my family.  I love them so much.  I love my in-laws as well, and I'm so grateful that I have such amazing grandparents for Kevin and any future children we will have.

My sisters are coming to visit today, to spend some time with me, do some last minute shopping, and visit another sister who was unable to come to their talks.  Hopefully I'll be able to make up some lost time.

I'd like that.