Directionless

The last few days, I've been kind of in a weird funk. I was having a hard time figuring out what was going on with me.

I love this face!

Finally, yesterday, it hit me...

I feel like I have nothing to really look forward to or stress about.

That might sound like kind of a weird thing, but for a while, we've had a lot going on.

For the last year and a half, it's been a series of big things. Starting in the fall of 2014, we began to try and purchase a house. For months, my every thought and prayer revolved around looking for and buying the right home. Then, after we purchased or home in February of 2015, we had to do a bunch of repairs and had Grig's sister come and live with us.

A few month later, we found out that Grig was going to lose his job, and so we were praying and searching for a new job.

A couple months after that, Grig's two brothers came to live with us too. Only a month after that, Grig's sister's health took a turn for the worse and she ended up having to fly back to Virginia.

The job search didn't end until November 2015, when the same week that Grig lost his job, he found a new one. Then, there was Christmas, and then a new puppy.

The puppy dilemma felt like it lasted forever, with us hovering on the brink of never knowing if we were going to get our little girl or not. Then, finally in February of 2016, Grig was told (officially) that he was hired full-time and we felt prompted to get our puppy.

And we're so glad!

Then, early this month, we took our vacation and traveled to Virginia. It took a few days to finish recovering from that, and now...

Yeah.

I'm not sure where I'm going now.

For months, I've had something to focus on, something to stress about and pray about. I still have a lot to work on personally, but it's strange to not have something big coming up.

I'm very grateful for our home, my son, my two brother-in-laws who live with us, our two dogs, and Grig's job. This post isn't about ingratitude.

I'm just kind of...confused and maybe feeling a bit directionless. We have things coming up in a few months, but they're not really things that involve making major life changes. We've been doing a lot of yard work and puppy training, but it just feels like there's a big vacancy in my head.

Kevin took this picture. He's getting to be a better photographer. 

There are some major purchases that we need to make. Our car is hovering on the brink of death (it feels like that sometimes, anyway. It keeps stopping randomly and it having a lot of issues, but every time we take it to the mechanic, it works perfectly). However, currently, we're not sure how much money we're actually making, so we don't know if we can afford to make car payments or not.

We began insurance in March, but we back-payed to the beginning of February. So, for the last two months, we've been paying for insurance, plus back-paying for an extra month of insurance. We've had just enough money for the bills and the things that we needed and not much extra. This coming in paycheck next week will be our first paycheck that actually shows us how much extra we're making now that we're not back-paying anymore.

We also have made some fairly expensive purchases recently, and so I'm a bit stressed about money. We received a coupon for an air-duct cleaning for a really good deal, and so we called and scheduled an appointment with them. When they came, they also check our our furnace, and vacuumed out our dryer vent.

When they checked our furnace and input vents, they were pretty horrified by the sight. I was a bit disgusted too. We're pretty sure the vents and furnace have never been cleaned. They explained to me that furnace efficiency goes down every year due to sediment in the furnace, and it raises the cost to heat the house.

After talking about it to Grig, we decided to pay a much bigger sum of money to have them deep clean the furnace and vents. They also installed a filter that would never need to be replaced, just washed and vacuumed. They also tried to sell us a couple of other things, but they were way out of our price range, and we weren't really interested in them anyway.

After they finished, there was a noticeable difference in the house. Both Allopex and I noticed a "lightening" and the air was much better. We felt like we have made a good decision. It will also lower our heating costs next year, and so it might end up paying for itself.

Kevin loves to ride his bike!

The sad thing was, we ended up having to use the money that we'd been saving to build a fence, and now we don't have any money to build it. We can save it up again, but it is a bit of a sad set-back.

Also, now that we have dental insurance, we decided it was time to see the dentist. I ended up having a cavity and a couple of other places they wanted to work on, and while I got those fixed yesterday, Grig had his appointment and found out he had several cavities, and their recommending a crown. They showed us an estimate of how much we're going to have to pay, and it was very sad. I'm so grateful we have dental insurance though. It's going to save us over $1000. As it is, it's still going to cost over $500 when all is said and done.

They're going to break up the different work so it's not as bad to pay, but still. Ouch.

So, I guess I'm a bit disappointed because I was really looking forward to building our fence this year, and now I'm not sure that it's going to happen. I'm also feeling a bit doubtful about our having a baby anytime soon, but I'm trying to hope. It's just been a long time, and every month is like a gauntlet.

Anyway, a lot of neat things have happened lately, and I'm grateful that we've had the money to take care of them and ourselves. The Lord has blessed us a lot, and I'm trying to stay hopeful and faithful. Our lives are pretty wonderful, and I'm trying to focus on my blessings. I know that things will work out. I know that some awesome things are coming, if I can maintain my faith.

Sorry for the long random post. I just needed to collect my thoughts, I guess.

Kevin, playing on his uncle's computer.

So, I guess it comes down to the fact that the things that I was looking forward to, I'm not sure if we can afford, and so now I'm not sure what to look forward to. For now, I'll try and just look forward to spending every moment with my amazing son, husband, and two dogs.

This photo shows a good size comparison. 

They're pretty awesome, after all.

Haircuts, Dentist, and Attitude

On Monday, I gave Kevin a haircut. He was not very pleased with the idea. However, as I am a lazy mother, my theory on my son's hair is this: If I have to comb it, it's time to cut it.

As you can see from the before pictures, he didn't want a haircut.

It went pretty well, though he cried the whole time. When we finished, he didn't want a bath, so I cleaned off the extra hair with a wet washrag and took him into the bathroom to show him how handsome he was.

At first, he seemed like he was going to cheer up, but then he spotted an old scrape on his forehead. Immediately, (even though it had been there for two days) he said, "It hurt me!" and he began to cry again. So, even though I assured him that this particular injury was already there and hadn't been caused by the clippers, the after pictures are just as sad as the before ones.

You can see the tiny pinpoint scab on the right side of his forehead.

It didn't take long for him to cheer up, however. I had cut everyone else's hair recently, and Kevin was happy to join the hair-cutting club.

Tuesday was Kevin's first dentist appointment. (I had one too, but it wasn't my first, thankfully.)

He did really well! It helped that I went first, and they let him watch. Then, when it was his turn, he was very obedient and held open his mouth when asked. They told us that his teeth looked great and he has really nice spacing between his baby teeth. I was really proud of how well he did. The nurses were impressed and one of them asked me if he was almost four. I told her he had just turned 3 in November, and she was surprised. She said that she didn't usually see such mature boys, mostly girls.

He wasn't scared at all, and the staff did really well with him. After we got home, he started doctoring his T-rex's teeth and repeating things the doctors had told him, like "Doesn't that taste like candy?". It was really cute. I should have gotten a picture.

Instead, here's one of him coloring on the side walk with chalk.

Siff is doing really well. She loves her kennel, and goes in there to sleep on her own. She's doing really well with potty-training and everything else. She does have a bit of an attitude though.

Now, don't get me wrong. She's not aggressive, and she isn't really disobedient. She just knows what she wants and she's not afraid to tell you about it.

For example, last night, Siff was having a bit of diarrhea. She had to go outside every hour or so. At one point, I nearly put her kennel outside and just let her stay out, but visions of her being eaten or something else terrible happening forced me to let her in a short time later. (I have a very active imagination.) So, I opened the door to let her in, and she ran right over to Arkhon's bed and laid down, as though to say, "I want to sleep here, thank you."

I laughed and told her that I would love for her to be able to sleep there, but not until she had been accident-free for a few months. She went pretty willingly into her kennel after that. She just likes you to know her opinions.

She's pretty awesome and adorable. She and Arkhon get along great, and she's so sweet to everyone.

For a random addition, on Sunday, Grig found a garter snake and brought it home.It was really pretty. Arkhon found it very interesting before Grig let it go again.

I love my family.

Dental Appointment

This morning I had a dentist appointment, so I didn't have time to write until now.

Yesterday, we went to the eye doctor and got Grig some new glasses. His were broken by Kevin as well, and unlike mine, they were not repairable. We brought mine as well and they were able to put a new screw in and straighten them out (mostly). They still have a mildly broken hinge, but I can wear them on my face, so they're almost as good as new.

Grig selected some pretty interesting glasses. I don't want to spoil anything, but we'll show you a picture as soon as they come in. I think you'll be pretty amazed! ;)

They told me that my teeth looked pretty good, though I have some mild cavities that need to be filled in. I've always really liked the dentist for some reason. Perhaps it was because I came from a large family and it was nice to have one on one attention with someone focusing on me for a while. Who knows?

They also told me that they could tell I wasn't from Utah because my teeth looked good. I'm not sure what that says about Utah teeth. There was a television set up on the ceiling so I watched people build tree-houses while they cleaned my teeth.

My aunt and uncle were nice enough to take Kevin while I had my appointment. He loves playing with his cousins. He thinks it's pretty great.

It's nice to have my glasses fixed and my teeth checked.

I've spent a lot of the day editing my grandpa's life history as well. We're almost finished with it! That's pretty exciting, and it has been awesome to read. I'm excited for the rest of my family to be able to read it too.

Kevin is crazy as usual. I'm still trying to figure out how to keep him off the dog kennel and away from the computer.

We love this kid.