The End of a Year

I saw my cousin's blog post today, which reminded me that 2015 is nearly over.

Am I the only one who thinks that's crazy?

It has been one hectic year, and it's hard to believe it's almost over. A few really neat things have happened this year, and a few really scary things. Mostly though, it's been a fantastic year with a lot of blessings.

Here is my year in review:

January: We were closing on buying our home. Most of my thoughts and energy were aimed toward that, and getting our taxes in. Once we'd finalized everything on the house, January was pretty much over.

February: We moved into our new house. It's hard to believe that this was over 10 months ago. In some ways, it feels like we've always lived here, and in other ways, it feels like we just moved in. Most of February was spent packing/unpacking and cleaning.

I still love my kitchen!

March: Honestly, I didn't remember what happened in March until I just went and looked at my pictures. It turns out that this was the month that Grig's sister came to live with us. We had our one good snowstorm of last winter, and Kevin built his first snowman. We were still adjusting to our new surroundings, and enjoying our backyard. We got a fish, and killed it.

April: We got another fish. We spent time at Baby Animal Days, and cleaned up a lot of our property. We were hoping that this fish would last longer, but unfortunately, it too died a few months later. No more fish for us for a while.

 May: Nothing too exciting happened in May. Just a lot of enjoying having a backyard and spending time with (relatively) old and new friends. Dakota was still doing pretty well at this point, and she loved laying in our long grass. (We hadn't purchased a lawn mower yet.)

June: We had our first family camping trip! We also nearly got a kitten, but decided at the last minute not too. Only a few days after we made that decision, we found out that Grig was going to lose his job by the end of October. That made us really glad that we'd listened to answers that we'd received when we prayed about bringing the kitten home with us.

The dogs loved camping. It makes me so happy to think about Dakota on that trip. She wasn't moving the best, but she was so happy! We nearly didn't bring her, because we didn't know how well she'd feel, but I am so glad that we brought her. She loved every minute of it. I hadn't seen her so joyful in a long time!

 July: July was a busy month that started with a family reunion. We had a great time with my Mom's side of the family and enjoyed hiking in the woods and playing in the lake. Arkhon also turned 1. He is officially an adult! We also took Kevin to the zoo where they had animatronic dinosaurs. He love that!

 August: We had a family reunion with my dad's side of the family, and afterward I went to live in Idaho for the rest of August and half of September while I helped to work on apartments. It's always difficult to spend time away from my husband, but with his impending joblessness, we were grateful for the extra income.

September: After arriving home after being gone for several weeks, we had one exciting event after the other. Grig's two brothers moved in to live in our basement, so we had three of Grig's siblings in the house. A couple weeks after I got back, Grig's sister's health suddenly went downhill and she ended up in the hospital. They were able to stabilize her, but found that she had a brain tumor. She then flew home to recover and prepare for surgery with her parents.

The day she got back to Viginia, Dakota took a turn for the worse. Only a couple of days later, my fifteen-year-old dog passed away. She's missed, but I know she's much happier now.

 October: Things quieted down as October started, but we were also looking unemployment in the face, and it was fairly stressful. Grig was frantically applying for jobs, but we had felt a great deal of peace, and knew that things were going to be okay. We just didn't know when. Grig's final day of work was October 31st, and as we celebrated Halloween, we still didn't have any offers, though Grig was able to volunteer to work one extra week in a different department. He quickly asked to do so.

 November: As Grig worked the first week in November, he received a call asking him to come in for an interview. Before the week was over, he had a job offer, and he started the new job the following Monday. Our prayers had been answered! We were very grateful on Thanksgiving. We had a lot to be thankful for.

 December: The new job is going well, and we were able to have a fantastic Christmas. It truly has been a wonderful year, and we're excited to see what next year will bring! We've lost one member of our little family, but hopefully the Lord will see fit to increase our numbers in the coming year.

Happy New Year, everyone! May you set attainable goals that will bring you happiness and joy!

Decorating for Christmas

A week before Thanksgiving, I couldn't help myself.

I was too excited about Christmas, so I asked Grig if he would be alright if we set up our Christmas decorations the 23rd of November for Family Home Evening.

He's pretty cool, so he said yes.

So, we got out the decorations and had a great time. We listened to Christmas music and put up our tree and lights. Today's blog is going to be a little picture heavy, but it's been a long time since I've posted, so I think that's ok.

Kevin had a great time!

This year, Kevin could hang the ornaments on himself.

We added a new ornament this year, in memory of Dakota.

We bought a new Christmas star. Our one form last year broke.I think it looks pretty awesome!

Our family Christmas picture.

I know, it's a terrible thing to decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving. However, for some reason I've been especially excited this year. It's probably because it's our first Christmas in our new house, or maybe because Kevin is getting older and is really excited this year too. 

Maybe both.

We took some pictures with Arkhon and Kevin. Arkhon wasn't too excited about it, but he was pretty awesome about putting up with it anyway.

He was a good sport.

Kevin sure enjoyed himself

Arkhon wasn't too excited about it...until I brought out a hot dog for a treat! Then he was all smiles!

These two are awesome.

As you prepare for Christmas, enjoy yourselves. This is supposed to be a time of fun and joy and peace. We're trying to do the same!

Merry Christmas!

Dakota

As many of you know, we had to put down our sweet old dog yesterday.

I've had Dakota since 2000. We went to a neighbor's farm to get potatoes, and we came home with a puppy.

She looked like a husky pup, though she was 3/4 border collie and 1/4 Australian shepherd. I loved her immediately. As I played with her and her siblings, my dad walked up and said, "Well, would you trade cable (television) for a puppy?"

I don't think he expected us to answer yes. We already had one dog, that we'd adopted when a neighbor couldn't keep her, but we were pretty enthusiastic about the thought of bringing home another puppy. My dad and mom finally agreed, thinking that having two would help them keep each other occupied.

She was born on August 19. We brought home the little girl on October 16, 2000.

She was the cutest puppy!

Two years later, she and I went to dog 4-H together. We went to state our first year and she did really well. I learned how to train dogs from an incredible professional dog trainer, who donated his time to help kids learn at 4-H. He really taught me a lot, and I'll be forever grateful to him.

The next year, I didn't take her to 4-H (though I did take Meg), because I bred her with a purebred border collie. We ended up with eight adorable little puppies.

Unfortunately, none of the puppies took after her coloring. they were all black and white like their father.

She was the best mom. She took care of all those puppies, and trusted me completely with them. That was one of the best summers of my childhood.

Dakota wasn't perfect. She didn't like men very much, and we could never figure out why. She also didn't get along with other dogs very well. Toward the end of her life, we got her to get over that, but it took a long time and quite a few visits to the dog park. 

She only bit a person once, and that was when she was a mother. A neighbor girl was talking really loudly and animatedly around her pups, and it made her nervous. She nipped her to get her to stop. 

Actually, I guess she did bite my younger brother one time. He came in crying about how Dakota had bit him, and it turned out that he had chomped on her ear first, so she nipped him back. He wasn't really hurt, and we thought it was funny.

She and Meg (our other dog) were usually great friends. Meg taught her some bad tricks, and sometimes they fought, but usually they had a great time together.

Meg and Dakota

When I left for college, my parents said they would only watch one dog for me. I had to give the other away. It was a hard decision, but Dakota was my baby. I had raised her, and she was the easier of the two to handle. She stayed, and Meg went. 

No matter how long I was gone, Dakota was always my dog. She always greeted me enthusiastically when I returned, and I always looked forward to seeing her. She was aging, but she had a very puppy-like love of life. 

She helped me choose my husband. I wanted her to live until I married, so I could see if she liked the guy I was dating. She was very particular about the men that she liked. I shouldn't have worried. She lived long enough to meet and love Grig, and that was one of the reasons that I knew I'd chosen the right man. 

I didn't know she'd live long enough to meet my first-born son too.

Kevin's first time meeting Dakota

A year later, we moved into an apartment that allowed pets, and she was able to come and live with us. After being an outdoor dog her entire life, she was finally allowed in the house.

She loved it!

Kevin loved his old dog. She was just about his speed.

She struggled with the stairs a bit, and she was developing arthritis, but she could still get around okay. She was always kind and patient with Kevin. Even when he accidentally hurt her, she did her best to be gentle.

In the late spring of 2014, Dakota was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was already large enough that it had most likely become systemic, and so we decided to just take good care of her until her time came. We though she had six months at the most. We weren't sure if she would make it to her 14th birthday.

We decided to get a puppy, so Dakota could teach him to be well-behaved before she passed away. She wasn't so sure about the idea at first, but eventually, he grew on her.

That's one pooped puppy!

A little while later, Dakota reached her 14th birthday, and we celebrated it enthusiastically, imagining that it would be the last one that she would have.

Here's Dakota eating her birthday cake.

Time passed, and though Dakota incremently got worse, I didn't feel like it was time yet. I told my husband, "If she stops eating, if she stops being able to walk, if she gets an infected sore, or if she isn't happy anymore, we'll put her down."

It seemed like that day would never come. She wasn't moving easily, but she was still mobile. She loved food almost too much, and would occasionally do some pretty crazy things in order to get to it. She never stopped being sneaky. Even when she could barely walk, she still managed to break out of the backyard (thank you, Meg). We'd hear her breathing through the front window and know she managed to get out again. She was happy, and seemed pretty healthy for her age.

She had her 15th birthday while I was away working in Idaho, and we didn't ever get around to celebrating it. I kind of regret that.

During the last few months, she began to develop what Grig termed, "Bed sores." He was absolutely right. She wore away the fur and skin on points that were kept in nearly constant pressure with the ground (mostly on her elbows and on her sides). We cared for them, and they seemed to be healing, albeit slowly.

We've had a crazy few weeks, what with Grig's sister's health problems and my husband's imminent loss of job. However, Dakota was kind enough to wait until Grig's sister made it back to Virginia with her parents. Grig's sister made it home Friday, and that's the day Dakota began to go downhill.

She was unable to get to her feet without assistance, and she showed no interest in food. She wouldn't even drink water, and a pretty foul smell began to come from her. She seemed despondent. I hoped she would pull out of it, but something inside of me told me that this might be the end.

We gave her a couple of days to see if she'd get better, but she only got worse. She didn't move most of the day, and when she did, she required assistance. Sometimes she looked fairly alert, but she had lost the joy in her face.

This picture was taken Friday night, the day Dakota started going downhill. My parents got to see her one last time. 

Saturday was a busy day for us, and she didn't show any signs of improvement. She was able to walk some, but she still didn't want to eat or drink.

This picture was taken Sunday afternoon. This was her favorite place to relax outside.

By Sunday morning, I knew it was time. I wrote in my journal, and after I finished, I e-mailed our veterinarian, who is a good friend of mine. I used to work for her when I lived in this area before. I asked her if she could come on Monday to put Dakota down. She was kind enough to e-mail me back on a Sunday, and we figured out a time. 

All day Sunday, I struggled with it, and prayed that I was making the right decision. I commented to Grig that the only thing she was missing on my list was an abscessed wound. A few minutes later, I found one after it burst. One of her bed sores had become infected, and the infection had run under the skin and abscessed right behind her right shoulder. It was huge and deep. I actually edited the above picture so you couldn't see it. She looks much better without it. 

After that, I still wasn't sure. Sometimes she seemed pretty alert, but she still didn't seem happy. Every one of the items on my list had been fulfilled, and I took that as a sign that it was time, but I still struggled with it. I didn't want to end her life prematurely. 

I cried and stressed about it quite a bit that night. I didn't know what our lives would be like without my wonderful companion and friend. She'd been with me for more than half of my life. However, after discussing it with Grig, I became convinced that it was the right decision. He was kind and left it up to me. She was our dog, but ultimately, she was and had been mine. She loved Grig and often greeted him enthusiastically, but she followed me everywhere and never liked me to be out of her sight. 

Monday morning, when our vet showed up, her first words were a huge comfort to me. She told me, "You're right, she's ready." Grig was able to leave work to be there as well, and that was also a huge blessing.

Dakota didn't really even react to the vet's presence. She just laid on the floor. 

This is where she was when the vet arrived. We took these pictures a few minutes before she came.

As the vet gave her sedative, her face relaxed and for the first time, she was free of pain. It was such a comfort to have her euthanized in our home by a dear friend whom I have know a long time. Dakota never made a sound, and she was very peaceful though out the entire procedure.

Once the drug had been administered, she stopped breathing, but it took a few minutes for her heart to stop. I couldn't help but admire what a fighter she was. She never quit, and she always kept going with a smile on her face. I can't even imagine how much pain she was in sometimes, but she never let it stop her from doing what she wanted to do and being with the ones she loved.

After her death, I felt more peace than I had been expecting. I didn't know how I was going to handle it. I'd never had a dog die before.

I wasn't sure how I was feeling about everything. I was sad, but part of me also could see her running, free of her mortal pain. As I thought about that on the ride home from the crematory, an impression hit me very strongly, and the thought popped into my head that said, "She's happy now."

I began to cry with joy. At that moment, it was as though all of my sadness was gone, to be replaced by joy that she was now free and happy. Her body had been becoming more and more of a prison to her gentle, loyal, joyful soul. She could now run with the speed of her youth, and I knew that she was still watching over us. 

Kevin and Arkhon didn't really understand what was happening. When we took Dakota's body to the crematory, Kevin kept saying, "Dakota's dead, dead, dead, dead, dead."

However, the rest of the day, he kept asking, "Where's Dakota?"

I would tell him that her spirit was now with Heavenly Father. That thought seemed to satisfy him, but he also was sad and grumpy for the remainder of the day. 

Arkhon has also been especially needy. He doesn't want us to go anywhere without him. That's not really like him. 

I am still sad, but I am not as devastated as I thought I was going to be. I'm so grateful for the life that I've had with her. She was worth every moment, and I learned so much from her. 

I saw this meme the other day, and I wanted to share it. I'm not sure who said this quote originally, but I loved it:

Link

Here's a short poem I wrote right before I e-mailed the vet to schedule the appointment. 

Dakota

Clear eyes cloud and the light slowly dims

Silk-like fur greys and becomes as wire

Energy lessens, and joints stiffen that 

once flew like raging wildfire.

What will life be, without you by my side?

You were there to greet me, each time I returned.

To you, it didn’t matter if it was five minutes or years.

The joy you exuded, could bring me to tears.

You helped choose my husband, 

You listened to my fears.

I learned from you what a dog is, 

and you taught me well.

With you, I learned to be firm and loving.

You trained my son to adore dogs .

You taught my cousins to give up their fear.

You were a comfort on warm, friendless days,

You slept with the cats, on winter’s dark nights.

You taught me responsibility, though sometimes I failed.

You taught me to endure, when I grow old and frail.

I have needed you and you gave me your best.

Thank, you Dakota.

You will be missed.

We thought you had six months. 

You gave us a year.

I’m not ready for you to disappear.

Our home will seem empty without you here.

When you’re free of your body,

Come visit us again.

Come run after Arkhon, 

Come play with Kevin. 

Come sit by my side, and greet Grig at the door.

There’s a place here for you now, and for forever more. 

We buried my dog tonight, under our apple tree. We sang Amazing Grace and had a prayer. It was a nice moment with my family. 

She's happy, and that's the most important thing to me.

Dakota, we will miss you and we love you. You are, always and forever, my beautiful dog. We'll never forget you.

Dakota
8/19/2000-10/12/2015

My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today.

--Hazel, Watership Down

A Backyard is a Wonderful Thing

This post isn't written to rub the fact that we have a backyard in your face.

I just wanted to point that out at the very beginning.

However, I am super grateful for our backyard, and even though it's been a lot of work, things are finally starting to look better.

That's not to say that we're done with it. In fact, our yard is currently in badly need of a haircut, but we haven't yet bought the trimmers.

It's been kind of weird actually. We decided on a lawnmower, and Grig went to the store to buy it. Both times he tried, his card would not work. There was plenty of money on the card, it just wouldn't work.

Every time since then, when I've planned to go to the store and pick up the lawnmower, it's been raining. We're not complaining, since it's free watering, but it does discourage lawn mowing. There's probably some reason we weren't supposed to buy it yet. I'm sure someday we'll know what that is.

Meanwhile, our grass keeps growing. Grig kind of likes how our backyard looks like a jungle right now. My only complaint is that it's getting hard to find the dog poop.

Oh well.

I love this picture!

Strangely, there are still bare patches, so it adds a lot of variety to our yard. We're hoping to re-seed those patches, but if we leave the grass alone, maybe it will go to seed and we won't have to?

It's worth hoping for.

Kevin, the dogs, and I spent some time outside today, and I finally had to bring the camera out because they were all being really cute.

It was a good day to take pictures. They were all super-photogenic.

It's such a nice thing to go outside, and not have to worry about keeping Kevin out of the road. I love just letting him run around and do his own thing, and not having to have the dogs leashed all the time. We love our house and we're super grateful to our Heavenly Father.

Later in the afternoon, Grig and Kevin climbed trees together. I wasn't here or I probably would have joined them. Or I might have taken pictures. They are really cute when they play together.

On a completely unrelated note, since some of you have been wondering, we still have our snake. He is getting bigger.

Kevin loves his snake. He becomes very sad when we put it away without letting him play with it. We have to keep reminding him to be gentle, and he's learning. Oryx (our snake) is getting a lot bigger. We might need to buy him a new cage soon.

Our fish is also still alive. I haven't killed Renji yet, and he's now lived longer than Gin. That's made me pretty happy.

Life with an Old Dog

Two nights ago, Dakota got in big trouble.

Beautiful Old Dog

Often when we go to sleep, she just stays out in the living room. We've never had trouble with her doing that, and so we don't worry about it.

However, the other night we had fried chicken. Evidently the smells coming from the trashcan were too much for the old girl. I woke up at about 1:30 a.m. to the sounds of her stressed panting coming from the living room. Thinking she needed to go outside, I asked Grig (which I shouldn't have done, but I don't always think well when I first wake up) to go let her outside. He got up, and Dakota came scrambling into the room and immediately laid down. Then I heard Grig make an angry sound.

Dakota had gotten into the trash, and after eating chicken bones and moldy meatballs, and suddenly needed to use the bathroom. Who knows why (said with sarcasm).

So, when Grig walked out, he found to puddles and one pile of poop. I got up to clean it up so Grig could go back to bed and Dakota slept the rest of the night outside. It's been fairly warm and she has a good coat on her, so she did just fine.

Then, yesterday we decided to go on a walk. I wasn't going to bring Dakota because she's so old and sore, but she refused to be left behind. So, we brought her with us. We weren't intending to walk very far, but two blocks away from our home we found a wallet on the ground. We looked through it to find some information about the owner, and though we found a driver's license and address, it was too far away for us to return (walking) and so we decided to take it to the police station that I had seen the other day. I knew it was within ten blocks, so we decided to find it.

It turned out to be exactly 1.3 miles away. She did okay on the way there, but on the way back, she was really struggling. I felt bad, but we only had only one way to get home.

She made it, but she was super-tired when we got there. She drank and then collapsed on the floor and said she was never moving again.

What a trooper. She reminded me of the scripture (Mark 14:38) "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

She a little sore today, but doing pretty well. Hopefully the guy got his wallet back from the police department.

Sometimes it's a bit of a struggle to have an older dog. She can't hear as well and she can be a bit of a stinker (quite literally sometimes), but I wouldn't give her away for the world. She been with me through a lot. She doesn't have long probably, but we're going to cherish the time we have. Even when it isn't always a good time, it's still time, and we get to spend it with her.

Counting Blessings

Thanks everyone who read and commented yesterday!

Today, I'm feeling much better. Last night, Kevin still woke up twice, but he went back to sleep (fairly) quickly. As for me, it only really hurts today when I run or if I get kicked (by Kevin). Other than that, it feels a million times better. Thank you for all the suggestions.

I'm feeling really blessed today.

We have been given so much, and it's hard not to feel grateful. In the place where we live right now, there are a lot of people who are struggling financially and with other matters. The more I learn about other people's lives, the more that I feel overwhelmed with the blessings that we have been given.

I have an incredible husband. Yesterday, I was reading a blog written by a woman where she was complaining about how her husband would call her while she was at the store. She could hear her baby crying in the background, and her husband asked her what he was supposed to do. She talked about how it was a manipulative move to try and force her to come home sooner.

I've never experienced that. Grig is an incredible husband and father. We aren't perfect, and neither is our marriage, but we're both committed to working things out. He loves Kevin and spends time with him. Their relationship is unique to them and is completely different from the relationship that I have to my son.

We have two wonderful dogs. Dakota is old and sweet. She's still happy and wants to be with us. The flesh is weak, but her spirit is willing. Sometimes we have to leave her behind because her ailing, arthritic body simply can't handle it, but she still really wants to come. She loves Kevin and Arkhon, though sometimes she also enjoys breaks from them.

Arkhon is quickly learning his boundaries. He rarely comes in the kitchen, and (for the most part) stays off the couch. He rarely has accidents anymore, though we're still working on that. He has learned to leave a lot of toys alone, and he doesn't chew on shoes or clothes much anymore. He and Kevin are best friends, and they love to play together.

I also have an incredible son. Kevin is really starting to talk now. Somewhere he learned how to say "mine" recently, and that is currently his favorite word. He loves to sing and dance. He's really into "Silly Songs with Larry" from Veggie Tale recently. He loves animals and can make almost as many animal noises as his parents. They're pretty impressive, actually.

He is a very happy, sweet kid. Occasionally he likes to hit, but we're working on it. At least he's not biting anymore. He runs really fast and he loves to play with toys. His favorite game currently is throwing balls for the puppy. Kevin also loves to grab the puppy around his waist and just hug him. Arkhon is learning to allow it. He kind of goes limp and waits for Kevin to let go. He's a good puppy. Kevin is learning to be gentle with him, but it is a process.

We have a sweet (but dumb) snake. He takes little work, and Kevin loves to gently pet him. He's getting bigger all the time. I'm going to have to post a new picture soon.

We also have a wonderful place to live with great neighbors. Grig has a great job, and I've been able to stay home with my son.

Our church is within walking distance, and we have a great ward.

I also am really grateful for my family. I have great relatives and in-laws. I don't think I could have picked better people if I tried.

There are trials and hard things that we go through, but compared to the things we have, they don't amount to much.

Life is pretty great, and I'm pretty grateful.

Thanks to everyone for being great friends and family. We are enriched by having you in our lives. Even if I don't talk to you much, I often think of you, and am grateful for the things that I have learned from you and am learning from you. I wouldn't be where I am today without you.

Today is a good day.

What more could I ask for?