Foster Care Meeting 1

Yesterday night, we went to our first foster care training meeting. I was pretty excited about it, even though it was supposed to be four hours long (and it was). 

The instructor was pretty hilarious. He was entertaining and the time went really quickly. It was a lot like the first college class period. He told us what to expect for the next seven classes, what his goals were, and what he expected from us. 

One of his biggest points was that we needed to make sure that we were doing this for the right reason. It wasn't supposed to be about us, it was supposed to be about the children. He talked about misconceptions and told us that generally foster kids aren't out to murder our pets. In fact, he'd never heard of a single case of that happening. 

We watched a video about a young man who had "aged out" of foster care. That means that he turned 18 while still in the system and was never adopted. Even as a successful business man, you could still hear the pain in the man's voice as reflected on his feelings about why he had never been adopted. It was pretty sad. He told us that children who age out of the foster care system nearly always struggle with feelings of self-worth. No matter how successful they become, they always wonder why nobody wanted them.

He asked us to keep an open mind about the ages, genders, and circumstances of the children that we are going to be helping. 

Grig pointed out that foster care is a bit of a paradox. You are supposed to bring the kids in your home, agree to potentially adopt them if things don't work out with their birth mom, and yet put all of your efforts into get them reunified with their birth families. We're not sure how that's going to work out yet, but we're still feeling good about the path we're on. 

He brought up two chart that showed reasons that people decide to foster. The first chart were the good reasons that helped to make foster care effective. All of our reasons were on this first chart. It was things like: infertility, desire to help the children, have a bigger family, and adoption. The other chart were reasons that didn't really work. These were things like: income (hoping that foster care would earn you money), a playmate for your child, or because your family was pressuring you to have children. 

He also talked about parenting techniques. We didn't go into too much detail, because that will be covered in another class, but the things he said have already helped me to be a better parent today.

A few weeks ago, Kevin was melting down all the time. He would just cry and scream for an hour or two. Last night, the instructor told us that punishing a child, or disciplining them for acting out is ineffective unless you solve the reason WHY they're acting out. A tantrum is nearly a way of expressing a deeper problem. 

Kevin hasn't done that in a few weeks, but today after preschool, he suddenly had a major fit. For nearly an hour, he screamed and cried. I kept my cool pretty well, but after trying everything, I finally began praying and I remembered what the instructor had said. Kevin had only eaten a little for lunch, and he had been playing hard ever since. I figured out he was probably hungry. (Candy doesn't fill you up after all.) 

I began to cook food. He screamed about everything I was doing, but when I handed him a meatball, the crying ceased. As soon as he was done eating that and the rest of his food, he was a different child. My happy little guy was back. 

We sure love this kid.

I'm pretty grateful for the things that I've already been learning. I'm hoping to be a much better person, parent, and wife after I finish the training. Even if we weren't doing foster care, I feel like these will help me improve my parenting style. 

Kevin had a great time playing with some friends while we were at the meeting, and he fell asleep at their house. We brought him home and he went right to bed. It was a successful night. 

Halloween 2016

We had a most excellent Halloween.We started the day off with preschool, and Kevin and the dogs dressed up for that. Arkhon didn't really like his costume, but Siff seemed to enjoy it. 

We had a fun Halloween preschool. We made masks, drew the letter H on balloons, and learned about our primary colors. After Kevin's classmate went home, we worked on getting ready to go trick-or-treating. Kevin tried on a couple other costumes too!

Once Grig came home, we carved our pumpkin. We had taken Kevin to the store the week before and told him to pick out a pumpkin. We were going to buy three, but when he picked this monster, we decided one was enough. Next year we may have to implement a rule one of my walking friends just told me about. In her family. They had to be able to carry their pumpkin to the car. That is such a good idea!

We each took a side of the pumpkin, since it was so big.

 Grig cut off the top, Kevin and I gutted it, and then we each drew on our creation. Kevin's was tricky because it wasn't really easy to cut out, but after he directed us, we managed to cut out what he wanted.

I also made dinner so we could eat before we went Trick-or-treating.

 Meanwhile, Siff tried on goggles. She was pretty cute.

We finally finished. Kevin loved carving pumpkins! He enjoyed every second of it.

 Here are the final works of art!

 After we finished eating, we went out with some friends and Trick-or-treated for a while. We brought Siff along with us, and she had a great time. Kevin was a hit, and he loved saying, "Trick-of-Treat" and "Happy Halloween." He and his friends took turns ringing and knocking on the doors.

Here's Siff in her costume. Arkhon was not happy about being left home. 

We were supposed to be over at my Great Aunt's apartment complex by 7:30 pm. I looked at my watch and realized half-way around our block that it was 7:26. We quickly realized we weren't going to make it in time and called to tell her that we wouldn't be arriving until a little later.

We finished knocking around our block and headed off; only to find that in our hurry, we had forgotten one of Kevin's shoes.So, barefoot, we entered my great aunt's complex.

Kevin made off like a bandit. My aunt and a friend stuffed Kevin's little bucket full, since we were nearly the last people to visit. It was pretty adorable. We thanked them, took a few pictures, and then drove to my grandma's house. They took the following picture of us.

 Havelock and Allopex were nice and manned the door. They handed out candy while we went out and knocked for more. Kevin loves his uncles, and they were really nice to help out. It is sometimes really nice to have them living in the basement.

We got home late, but we had a really good time. Kevin loved Halloween! I asked him what he was going to be next year, and he gave me a funny look, as though he couldn't believe I didn't already know, and stated obviously, "A T-rex." We'll see if he still feels the same way next Halloween.

When he said his prayers that night, he thanked Heavenly Father for the pumpkin carving, the trick-or-treating, and the candy. Grig and I really enjoyed ourselves too.

I adore Halloween!

Pumpkin Walk

A couple of days ago we went to the pumpkin walk that held in our neighboring city.

It was pretty awesome. The theme was America. Basically, it's this area that has a path that travels around the edge of it. On one side were some pretty epic displays, and on the other were carved pumpkins.

We had Kevin wear his costume so he would be warmer (and so we could show it off. I put a lot of work into that costume and we wanted to get as much use out of it as possible).

 This is one of our favorite displays. It was John Williams themed, who is one of my favorite composers. Kevin was pretty excited to see Superman.

 There was also a Norman Rockwell display. Grig and Kevin posed in front of this one, because it is a female welder, and Grig's a welder. It seemed appropriate.

 I really liked the way they made the dog in this one. The displays were pretty impressive, and Kevin was really excited by all the pumpkins. The fact that he had a good time made the whole trip worth it.

 We found another Superman later. This one was even cuter, and some nice stranger took the picture for us so that we could all be in it together.

 After all the displays, they had a bunch of those photo boards where you could poke your head through. This one was particularly funny.

 However, my favorite picture of the night had to be the following one. Grig and I wanted to pose in this one, but we didn't expect the t-rex to pop up behind us. Kevin looks pretty creepy!

 Then, we got in the car. Kevin told me I was the driver.

 This picture is another one that I really like. Kevin looks adorable as Yoda.

We had a really good time, and our grateful to all the awesome people who put this thing together. We went on the last night, but hopefully we'll make this a family tradition. Maybe next year we can help.

Foster Care

Over the last few months, Grig and I have been trying to figure out what the next step should be for us.

We've been trying to conceive again for almost four years now...with no luck. We love Kevin and we're so grateful to have him, but our home still feels like there are more children that are meant to be part of our family.

Foster care and adoption have come up a few times, and we've had some interesting experiences that have made us consider them very seriously. We felt pretty strongly about it back in July, but then I went to Idaho to work for two months and the subject was put on hold.

About two weeks ago, we started talking about it again. During General Conference (for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), I was praying about it, and the next day when I got on facebook, there was a huge advertisement informing me that there was going to be a foster care meeting held in our neighboring city in a few days. That seemed like too much of a coincidence, so we RSVP'd back to the people in charge and told them that we'd be coming.

About a week and a half ago, we drove to attend. Before we entered, Grig and I prayed that we would know what we were supposed to do and that we would know if we were supposed to begin foster care.

The meeting was fantastic! They showed a video that made both of us cry and they talked a lot about common misconceptions with fostering. After the meeting, both Grig and I felt like this was something that we were supposed to pursue right now, and we spoke to the woman in charge.

There are a few things that we need to do in order to be licensed. On Thursday, we're having an initial consultation, so the representative can evaluate us, our home, and instruct us on what we need to do in order to proceed.

I'm pretty excited! That's only a couple of days away. We both feel very strongly that we're making the right decision, and ever since then it seems like every movie or tv show we watch has something about foster care or adoption.

Moving forward with foster care doesn't mean we're giving up on our other options either. In the first week of November, I have an appointment with my doctor to do a check-up, and find out what's going on with me. Hopefully it is easily resolvable, and we'll be able to naturally have more children.

Either way, things are moving forward with adding more children to our home. I'm stoked. Kevin's going to be such a good brother. He loves babies and is so sweet with them.

The dogs are almost completely trained too. They're going to do well with whatever happens. I've heard that owning animals can be very beneficial to foster children too; especially well-trained, loving animals.

So, there's an update on some of the decisions we're making right now. I'll try to keep you informed. Life is moving forward.

Limber Tail Syndrome

Yesterday, I woke up to find something wrong with Siff.

Her usually tightly curled tail was horizontal with her back. When I lifted it, it dropped back down like a limp noodle, and she seemed unable to curl it or wag it. When she sat down, she didn't seem to be able to even exert the control to move it out of her way.

Very concerned, I texted my husband. I told him that I was worried that her tail was either dislocated or broken. I asked if I should call the vet, which I really wanted to do, but not without talking to Grig first.

He gave an affirmative answer, and I quickly phoned our vet. She is amazing, and told me that she could come by our home by 1:30 p.m. She is an At Your Door Veterinarian, and so she comes to our home to give shots and do exams. I used to work for her in college, and she's one of my favorite people.

I really enjoyed worked as a Veterinarian Assistant, and I learned a lot from her. I knew she would know if Siff's tail was dislocated or broken. I didn't remember her being injured or yelping. If it was broken, it seemed like I would have heard something or noticed it sooner.

This is how it hung all day yesterday. It was very strange.

We went on a nice long walk to get the excess energy out of the dogs, but Siff was pretty tired at the end. Her energy level wasn't anywhere near normal. It was weird though, because she didn't seem to be in pain either.

The vet arrived promptly at 1:30. She greeted the dogs and tried to hug Siff, but she was too excited. She asked me if Siff ever calmed down enough to hug, because she looked so huggable. I told her that she was super huggable and that she quickly calmed down.

Then, she examined Siff. After a few minutes, she told me that the tail didn't feel broken or dislocated, and Siff didn't seem to be in very much pain. Then, she told me that she had seen this kind of situation before. I guess some dogs, especially Labradors, hounds, and other hunting dogs, will sometimes get limp tails like this. They call it Limber Tail Syndrome or No Wag Syndrome. They usually get it after long periods of rest followed by sudden exercise or after swimming in cold water. She wasn't sure how Siff had gotten it, and neither was I. We've been walking, but not an extreme amount.

She wondered if it might have to do with Siff's heat. She told me that she had once seen a German Shepherd that had gone lame when it entered its heat. That makes sense, since there is a softening of some tissue when dogs go into heat.

She gave us some anti-inflammatory drugs, and, after a few more minutes, left.

Today, Siff's tail is already better.

This is how it usually sits on her back.

I looked up Limber Tail Syndrome yesterday, and on the internet it said that many veterinarians have not even heard of it because it is such a rare condition. I'm really grateful that our veterinarian had and was able to diagnose it. It definitely was comforting to know that nothing really serious was wrong with our baby girl.

It was kind of a funny realization too, how much we care about her.

Grig grew up on a farm, so he's always been a little bit on the "dogs are tools, not family," side of things. I didn't feel entirely the same, but our dogs were always outdoor dogs, and so I loved them, but they weren't a huge part of our lives.

Siff and Arkhon are. They are with me nearly 24 hours a day, and we do tons of things with them. They aren't on the same level as Kevin, our son, but they are definitely part of our family.

At the thought of Siff being severely injured, both Grig and I got pretty stressed about it. He was surprised later by how bothered and upset he was. We have fantastic dogs. They are very well trained, and rarely cause us stress. Mostly, they are stress relievers.

We're so grateful that our beautiful Norwegian Elkhound is alright. I'm also really grateful for our Veterinarian. She is wonderful.